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[Maryjane]

So admin have not reprimanded freckles how I read Emma's post ?

If admin hasn't then someone has given the impression they were admin ?

Really hope that's not the case , unless I have read it wrong ?

[Elizabethrose]

"Lynda57 has left us.  She was reprimanded for posting a link last night" - that's the bit I was referring to. OK? Clear now?

Yes Emma, it seems quite clear now.

[Elizabethrose]

Elizabethrose, you have a three monthly follow up after the initial consultation (then yearly after that) at "He Who Shall Not Be Named" clinic and I had my three monthly follow up this month. 
I did tell "He Who Should Not be Named" about MM and that many women on here spoke highly of him and also his treatment regime (whether obtained privately or on the NHS).  He looked up the forum in front of me on his lap top and read some of the posts about him and yes, he did give a wry smile!
I do rave about his treatment regime because I personally found it life changing and if women can get it on the NHS that's even better.  Unfortunately I didn't have any option but to see "He Who Shall Not Be Named" as my GP is clinically and emotionally challenged when it comes to prescribed HRT- she won't, and only wants to prescribed antidepressants.

Hahaha, I love it. His smile will be broader when he knows he's being referred to as Voldemort! Hahaha! Good luck with your treatment hope it keeps all the nasties at bay for you.

[Elizabethrose]

No Maryjane, I think Emma is saying that her earlier response wasn't about Freckles but Linda who left. Therefore I'm reading that Emma did indeed reprimand Freckles for posting too many times about Prof ------!!!!

Of course, I may be wrong. Boy I'm bored with this now!

Have a happy weekend x

[Hurdity]

Hurdity,

Please accept my sincere apologies and any other ladies I may have offended.  It's not my usual nature to be confrontational but for some reason took umbridge at you telling a member to remove something which she had posted a link to and being the written word, took it the wrong way, which in hindsight and reading it back, I realise it was wrong of me.  The other member had left because she said she was sick and tired of people mentioning Professor Studd and then didn't like being told not to read the posts so that didn't seem right either.  All in all, no excuses, but a bad day and I'm really sorry.  I hope you will forgive me?

I've been away from the forum for a couple of days with family commitments so only just seen this. Just to say thank-you for your apology - accepted and no hard feelings . Thanks also for taking the trouble to send me a pm which I have also only just received.

Hurdity  x

[Hurdity]

Justjules, you raised a very valid point yesterday so don't feel badly today. I have seen a number of very sarcastic, patronising comments on this site. Some people ride roughshod over others beliefs and can do so in a bullying, domineering manner. We all of us have to make difficult choices about how to manage our health at this stage in our lives, some of the decisions are taken out of our hands.

Whether we take the HRT, other medicinal or indeed also 'natural' routes, is a right of the individual and they shouldn't be mocked or pilloried for doing so. Indeed, when discussions of a political nature have arisen on this site; patronising, sarcastic, bullying remarks can also abound.

I do understand, that in any collective situation, there will always be some who will take it upon themselves to manage everyone, to unofficially police what others say and do. However, this is a wonderful site enabling a very wide range of women to help, encourage and support each other and also to offer advice according to their own experiences. Of course we need to avoid unscrupulous advertising taking place which doesn't benefit any of us and can be detrimental.

......
The rather longwinded point I'm trying to make here, is that this site is an excellent vehicle for women to gain support and advice, enabling us to better our experiences at this very very difficult stage of our lives. Can we not offer this support in a kindly supportive manner?

However - Elisabethrose by making that additional post you have unfortunately caused further offence. Your language about other members is very emotive - "sarcastic, patronising, bullying, domineering", "ride roughshod". These are strong words indeed when individuals are still not named, and when you make the points directly after Justjules apology to me and when you say she has made a valid point. (By the way I do agree with you about the two main political threads - but this was mentioned at the time on the threads - they were out of character with the rest of the exchanges on the forum).

I would be personally mortified if I thought I was guilty of any of those traits. Might I respectfully suggest that if any comments make you "wince", please do take it up there and then on the thread and with the member concerned otherwise such comments can lead to unpleasant undercurrents with members wondering who or what is being referred to.  There have been one or two minor spats between members recently but the challenges were made on the thread concerned and members explained themselves and no offence taken. I have also not seen any member "pilloried" or "mocked" for their treatments - that is a serious allegation!

There is a difference between criticism of a treatment based on scientific evidence - and general support for an individual. Members may ask about a particular treatment - and may be presented in response with both individual experiences or scientific information about the effectiveness, or simply a much needed hug - and all these have their place. Sometimes members for example criticise doctors - when members posts about their negative experiences - but again it is perfectly reasonable to get angry with some of them on behalf of the member!!

You may be bored with the thread but I've only just seen it - and your words are sitting there - straight after the post about my comment on Linda57's thread and Justjules' apology. I don't want an argument but having seen these strong criticisms I felt I had to respond.

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

Do you know I think that the word 'sensitivity' has been forgotten ………. and if a member has a problem with something that is said in a thread, they shouldn't hijack the topic in order to put their point/s across, another thread should be opened to draw discussion ! MHO

[Freckles]

Fully agree CKLD! 
I also agree with Elizabethrose's earlier comment, including some replies being as negative as she has described.  It's a subjective viewpoint I know but one that I concur with.

I think many individuals are not named by a poster they have issues with simply because they don't want a backlash or to be reprimanded, either online or by a Forum Admin when members indirectly complain about them. Some individuals appear to have issues about being disagreed with (not me, as I have my Big Girl's knickers pulled up).

I found this out recently as you may be aware, simply because some members didn't like my posts, both in frequency and content and complained indirectly and I was warned accordingly to moderate my posts.  I don't believe I was "advertising",  just sharing my experiences and my journey which has been very positive since seeing "He Who Shall Not Be Named".  But I'm happy not to name *him* to keep those members happy and to comment on my treatment regime which has been life changing.  (Note: Other NHS and private prescriptions are available) 

Furthermore  I was also made aware a couple of weeks ago when a very knowledgeable poster was criticised for posting about her HRT treatment experiences for not "being a medical doctor". 

I found this ironic, because as far as I am aware, apart from Dr Currie, there are no qualified medical practitioners posting on here? I'm a Doctor (NOT of medicine ) and have done some partial training in medicine and I'm also a Chartered Scientist, so know to analyse clinical reports. 
Nevertheless some members regularly give medical advice as to HRT treatment, dosage and frequency in the same (apparent) vein as a qualified medical practitioner might do; not in light of their treatment experiences on the same regime but as general HRT treatment advice.
Those are just examples that seem to be overlooked in the spirit of "sensitivity" and "sharing information" or could also be construed as at best possibly self serving and hypocritical?

So I think CKLD is spot on- the issue of sensitivity, sharing (and accepting) of different kinds of information has been overlooked and seems to me to hijacked!
When helpful information and mutual support is shared I think MM is a great place to come too.

When, however, negative posts as Elizabethrose clearly described do occur IMO, I know from personal messages I've received,  it has put a lot of women off from posting, which I think is such a shame.
Seems ironic she isn't allowed to share her views either, given the subject matter of this thread !

That's my tuppence worth!

Hopefully I won't be complained about again indirectly and I genuinely value this forum when it works well!
Have great Bank Holiday weekend everyone. xx

[CLKD]

   Freckles.  Back to subject or maybe ask Emma to shut this down?

[Elizabethrose]

How very surprised I was to read your post Hurdity. You appear to have assumed my comments were a personal attack on you, which rather puzzles me, as I quite categorically stated that my critiscms were general. If you feel sure that you are not guilty of possessing these traits, why would you believe anyone was accusing you of them I wonder?

It seems you are suggesting I should name the guilty parties: of course I could name and shame and cut and paste the offensive remarks here as evidence; but why would I wish to publically humiliate another member, that would hardly be kindly or considerate which is exactly what I am campaigning for.

Justjules did make a very valid statement and she was very upset thus my reassurance to her. She was concerned about more able posters trying to dominate others who were perhaps less able to manage the situation. Whilst I hadn't read the thread that she was specifically commenting on, and this I mentioned at the time, I wholeheartedly agreed with her statement for a greater need for being kind and sensitive to other members.

I totally stand by my remarks on bullying, sarcastic and patronising posts made by some, who seem to thrive on dominating the forum like unelected head girls, policing what others say and do. Given that I have received a number of PMs from members who have felt bullied and upset by posts, thanking me for highlighting this subject matter, I am very happy that I did make a stand. What I was hoping to achieve was that those guilty of behaving like this might climb off their high horse and eat some humble pie. Offering advice and support is what we should be doing, not reprimanding and dictating.

Given that you seem to be challenging me in a somewhat aggressive and dictatorial fashion, I am going to also say that I am indeed surprised by your critisims of those members who have enthusiastically discussed their experiences with Prof Studd which has resulted in them being muffled by admin. I have read your repeated remarks to MaryG and also Freckles accusing them of advertising his business. This puzzles me enormously, as I recently read one of your posts stating that Nick Panay is one of the best, including a number of exclamation marks to emphasise this, coming from someone who has never met him or been treated by him, which you also mentioned on a previous post. At least MaryG and Freckles had met and been successfully treated by the doctor they were recommending. Should MaryG and Freckles, and indeed anyone else, suggest that you are in the employ of Nick Panay and advertising his business and publically reprimand you about this before reporting you to admin? Maybe it's one set of rules for one person and a whole different set of rules for everyone else.

As for providing scientific evidence of a treatment's effectiveness, either medicinal or holistic - if a member feels strongly that something is working for them, then that should be good enough for any of us. We are all just trying to get by. If they think it works for them, good luck to them, we should celebrate for them, not ridicule their belief. What is faith after all Hurdity, if not a belief in something that can't be proven by science?

I too am not in the business of public slanging matches but, like Freckles, I'm a big girl with my big girl's knickers pulled way up high and I am never intimidated by bullying remarks or behaviour. In fact they rather make me rise to the challenge.

As I have repeated a number of times now, this forum is an excellent medium for struggling women to get together and support each other. The overwhelming majority of members are kindly supportive caring souls who want nothing more than to offer some means of assistance to each other. I say thank you to them all. Let anyone else try a little harder

[Freckles]

Excellent post Elizabethrose. 

[CLKD]

   Elizabethrose ………

[CLKD]

DO NOT Edit or delete anything unless Dr Currie requests you to do so!!!!

[dazned]

That's so bad to be PM ed and asked to edit ! 

As you say you'd already asked to be "excused " your English as you're from Brazil ! Shows people only read /see half a story !

[Mary G]

Thank you Elizabethrose and Freckles, you put that far better than I ever could.