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[babyjane]

primary school teachers in year 5 take a sex education class about periods for the girls and erections and wet dreams for the boys which is good and something we never had at school.  I can still remember being so scared when my periods started and I thought babies came out of the tummy button!

However young women are taught nothing about the menopause, which is also going to happen to most of them at some point in their adult life.

I think that menopause ought to be covered in health education in sixth form or college, I really do.  I have shared my menopause with my daughter who, like me, thought it was just when your periods stop and you get a bit hot (thank goodness for the teaching on this website and in this forum).  DD doesn't like what she has learned from me but is glad because she will be more aware when she gets to middle age.

Why aren't young women taught about the other end of their reproductive life 

[Joyce]

Girls are starting periods much younger these days, so good idea to be taught, as with boys. Although hard to believe that even now parents aren't doing it. I told our daughter when she was about 9 years of age, kept it simple. Told hubby to speak to son. To this day I still think he didn't though. 🤔

My daughter is already thinking about thoughts of Meno in about 10 years time. Right when GDs will be in throws of puberty! Heaven help her poor hubby! 😂

[Ju Ju]

The first sex education lesson I had was in 6th form. All I can remember is the lady rolling a condom on to a banana!

I spoke to both my children. I bought a book to help me explain. I think it was by Claire Raynor. The illustrations were fairly explicit. I pitched things as and when I felt the children were ready. One day my son asked how babies were made. Just as I was about to launch into an explanation...deep breath....he announced he knew, rushed to get the book and said, " Look, the man lies on top of the lady." Then he looked at the next page, which showed an erect penis and said, " that's bigger than Daddy's!"

I think sex education is ideally best done at home, where the parent can pitch it at the level and understanding of the child. But as many of us know it is often avoided, maybe because of embarrassment. Schools have to provide this service, but sometimes the child may not be ready. I was working with a 10 year old girl, who was quite distressed after someone had come in to school to give lessons. She told me it was disgusting and couldn't imagine doing anything of the kind when she was grownup. She simply wasn't ready.

Just as important and from a very early age, I told my children not be afraid to say no to anything that made them feel uncomfortable and that they should never feel compelled to do things because of peer pressure, bullying etc. Also, if they were touched or spoken to in a way by someone, that felt uncomfortable, then it was ok to tell either us or a trusted adult, regardless of what the person said.

[CLKD]

Don't girls read the back pages of magazines these days which is where I got my questions from: then I asked my Mum, one thing she wasn't was backwards about coming forwards.  My friends in Sec School sent me home with questions for my Mum 'cos there's wouldn't discuss sex  .

Menopause should be discussed when a lady goes for her pregnancy tests ;-).  There should be more info in GP Surgeries, Libraries etc..

[Evenstar]

I have an 11 year old who is home educated. She's never really been interested in anything to do with growing up although I have explained about periods etc.
I bought her an Usborne book that covers all sorts growing up type subjects, periods, sex,boys etc etc.
She says she's not ready to learn things like that, it is quite graphic in places, but it's there for when she does feel ready.
  Children mature at different times, not all are ready for the sex education lessons given in Primary school.
  Have also spoken to her about menopause as am going through it myself but tbh I don't think she takes much in.

[CLKD]

I don't think we take it in until we begin each Stage of Life. Knowing that bleeding is normal is very helpful to a young girl and there is so much choice in sanitary wear these days - no need to suffer belts, loops and pads!

Menopause is way 'out there' at 11 years old  - something old ladies deal with 

Parents should be open to questions at all times.  My Dad wouldn't discuss it with me although Mum insisted he knew each month  ……..

[Mary G]

I haven't got children but I would like to think that younger women will be able to avoid the menopause completely - I would see this a real progress.  I have just about managed to do this myself with HRT (55 and no menopause symptoms) and I would like to think that in time, women will be able to splice oestrogen into their system as soon as their own levels drop and hopefully use a non-hormonal coil type device to stop the lining building up and bringing an end to the much hated progesterone which causes so many women to stop using HRT.

We desperately need a replacement for the progesterone part of HRT.

[Maryjane]

My three daughters well and truly no about the menopause. I have/had the most awful VA/bladder issues and forwarned is forarmed , and contrary to popular thoughts with the Gps I was still having regular 28 day cycles no hot flushes mine is all vaginal/ bladder/ skin / eyes . HRT for life here.

I think Mother Nature is very cruel , we produce and bring up the next generation , they start there own lives and poof sex life over , and put on the scrap heap by most of the medical profession , bar a few.

Men can get viagra as and when , we have to almost beg for HRT , the pill is given out like candy which has far more potential nasty side effects than HRT.

Sorry moan.

YES they do need to be taught , and also the potential of leaving it to late and not being able to get pregnant as the girls these days are far more career/ travel minded , and suddenly get to 35 and uh oh.

[Taz2]

Nature is purely interested in furthering the species. It's not bothered about how we feel unfortunately.

My mum explained to me about menopause when she was 53 and I was 18 and I watched her go from a competent, level-headed person to a dripping, exhausted wreck. I was not at all interested though when she tried to explain and when she bemoaned the fact that she had gained two stone in weight I said "You're 53 who's bothered what you look like anyway". I feel so sad now that I didn't understand more but she just fixed me with a look and said "you wait my girl your time will come". She was right as always! I didn't understand the way the menopause can change you mentally and emotionally and I really didn't want to know because, of course, I wouldn't be at all like that when I got to that age  . She did use HRT for a year when I was 19 and it made a world of difference to her. When she stopped it her symptoms didn't return apart from occasional hot flushes.

I agree that men can easily get viagra if they pay privately for it Maryjane but it's by no means available to every man on the NHS from what I've experienced. I think with HRT the fact still remains that it is the length of years are bodies are exposed to oestrogen which affects the risk of us developing certain cancers and this is what the medical profession home in on every time. As long as we are given all of the facts then I agree it is up to us as to whether we continue with HRT (which gives us so many benefits) or stop which can cause us great discomfort.

Taz x

[CLKD]

Why is sex life over  - another thread maybe? 'cos mine certainly ain't over ……..

[Lizab]

My mother had a very simple talk with me about periods and sex. I had the classes in school as well but probably learned most at the cafeteria table. The birthing center held classes about pregnancy. I agree, there's nothing for menopause.

Most of what I learned at home about periods, pregnancy, and menopause had a very negative spin on it, that girls are fine until they start their periods when they become overly emotional and crazy. Repeat for pregnancy. Repeat for menopause.

I never really thought about the way all these feminine processes were presented to me, and how it relates to my own experience. No wonder I had such a rough time going into this! It's been imprinted in my mind that I was fine before but I'm now a lesser woman, irrational and overly sensitive, for being at this stage. I've been fighting it so hard!

Thanks for posting this, babyjane. I'll need to include menopause when it's time to discuss periods with my daughter.

[babyjane]

In my original post I did not advocate talking about menopause at the same time as periods, it would be too much for a pre teen to get their head round.  I suggested it could be approached in 6th form or college once the girls are young women.

They certainly need to know the whole story from beginning to end.  Ignorance certainly is not bliss.

[Maryjane]

CLKD because the pain from VA / bladder / nerve pain is excruciating, three episiotomies with scar tissue that looks like spaghetti junction, and no amount of oestrogen can help it.

[babyjane]

my husband and I have a loving relationship but we have not had full sex for years due to problems on both sides.  we are quite happy with the situation.

People who do not have sex into old age should not feel that there is anything wrong with them.

[Taz2]

At the bottom of this thread, on my computer anyway, there is an advert advising which foods to eat - it's shows a rather large cucumber! Google's picked up on the Viagra word I think. 

Taz x