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[Babsm67]

There was a recent thread about job losses during peri/meno but I need to ask this - has anyone picked themselves up after losing their job & found a new 'niche'?  I am in a bit of a complex situation as I am currently unemployed after a year of total confusion.  I have an autistic son who still needs a certain degree of support & attends college part time.  Last year, after a huge build up of stress, I experienced a breakdown & quit my longterm job in education. Four years ago, although I was never a very confident person, I had completed a year of study, carried out my duties at work & still enjoyed it.  Anxiety was there in the background but a low dosage of antidepressants kept it at bay & I cou!d live a normal life.  One year on, the misery started with a host of bewi!dering peri symptoms that eventually floored me (& I cou!dn't take the ADs anymore).  I lost confidence in my field & turned down another similar job to work at a supermarket - the hours did not suit due to family circumstances & I soon realised they cou!d not be changed.  I eventually took a cover job in my old profession & left the supermarket, only to lose the cover job a few weeks later due to budget cuts.  I then worked as a contracted temp & had my time extended (not contracted) until the end of term.  Another person left at the same time.  Other members of staff asked me if I was being kept for the new term but I have not been asked.  In the meantime, I was not even offered an interview for another school job elsewhere.  This tells me that I am simply not good enough & I have lost my confidence totally now.  With my circumstances I need to find a job that fits in with caring for my son but does not involve working every weekend - from what I have seen, this is going to be an extremely tall order & I am starting to feel very despondent.  I did volunteer for a whi!e last summer (including the holidays) which helped my confidence in the workplace but this was not possible this year as I had no daytime, weekly support.  As I now have 3 jobs in one year on my CV, it doesn't look good. Is it even worth me trying any more?  If anyone has any encouraging advice, it will be gratefully received xx

[Cherrycrumble]

Hi MadBloss! 

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I completely understand the loss of confidence - I left my job as school secretary in June as my anxiety and peri symptoms had just become overwhelming. The office I worked in also had such a negative atmosphere all the time, with bullying and nastiness going on (not directed at me) and that coupled with my awful anxiety was too much, so I decided to leave. The doctor signed me off for the rest of the term and then I officially finished in July.  I'm trying to look for something else but I feel an overwhelming loss of confidence and don't know what jobs to look for now. I feel an office environment wouldn't be right at the moment, but finding it difficult to know what to do next! I'm also feeling a bit concerned about how my CV will look, and the explaining I will need to do that I left my job of my own will. 

I think I'd really like to be doing a job where I'm out and about and not stuck in an office as I don't think that's the right environment for me.

Please don't feel you're not good enough though, because you are, it's just these damn hormones causing us to feel this way 

[walking the dog]

Madbloss you are more thangood enough for these jobs, your obviously a well qualified and experience TA . I dont think the problem is you its the current job market situation, those jobs are like gold dust.
I left my job as a nursery nurse in November due to anxiety etc and registered with a,supply agency for Schools, even that's been very quiet ,and I know I'm well qualified and have loads of experience . Its definitely not you, I think its down to cuts in school budgets etc.
Dont give up hope keep looking something will turn up
Xx

[kpatton56]

Quite possible that it is cheaper to employ someone with less experience! You have a lot to offer and a lot of life experience as well! The right job will come along 😀

[Babsm67]

Thank you ladies, for your replies - they are much appreciated 
Cherrycrumble, there was an awful atmosphere at my old workplace as well - so many people left due to  'restructuring', compulsory redunduncies & just plain bullying.  Like you, this affected me & I lived in fear of being 'next'.  As my confidence unravelled, it made matters worse for myself & I was given a 'talking to'.  The following year, I !eft. 
It might be worth contacting the National Careers Service as an advisor could help you with your CV & may be able to give you some ideas on what e!se you wou!d like to do.  I didn't actually have to put the reason for leaving on there - just the month I left. As you have recently left your job, your CV will not have the three jobs in a year scenario that I have got so will look much better.  On application forms, I put that I left due to a 'health issue that had been fully resolved' and that I was 'now fit & well'. Another option cou!d be to volunteer somewhere if you can delay going into paid work for a few months.  This helped me gain confidence last summer (I may consider it again but need to make sure it is ok with the organisation to do it with the possibility of leaving if something else comes up).
Walking the dog,   So many of us suffer from this wretched anxiety as that recent thread can testify & going into work can become an ordeal - just  the thought of starting at a new place fills me with dread but, at the same time, I need to go & do something for my own good as staying indoors is actually making me more reclusive. Like you, I registered with a couple of supply agencies last year, (I think my details were passed on by an online employment agency) but I received just one interview.   Budget cuts are rife in schools - that was what happened to me early this year - all of the cover TAs lost their hours & we were told that all cover was to be provided internally (I had two full days per week which suited me perfectly  . ). Many jobs are for fixed terms now (some short).  Working in schools suited me for years as I liked working with chi!dren & it fitted in with my own chi!dren, particularly my son.  In the holidays, I have no support so need to be there for my son for part of the time as he cannot be left at home all day, every day. 
Katiecurrantbun,  that could be the case - I am so full of self doubt & start thinking that companies will want someone younger, with a degree etc..   I think, in all honesty, I am unsure what I am capable of - so many companies & schools use the buzzwords 'innovative, 'dynamic', 'forward thinking' & 'flexible' that my heart sinks as I am none of those things.  I cannot do many extra hours, go on residential trips, work every weekend or drop everything at a moment's notice to come in due to my circumstances so I am definitely not 'flexible'!
Thank you again, ladies - half of the battle is to get motivated & just having some encouragement helps enormously xx

[Cherrycrumble]

Madbloss that is so like the place i worked - I worked in constant fear that I would be the next one to be picked on, and we were never praised for our work just moaned at if anything went wrong. The head teacher was the most vile person I have ever come across, and just put fear into everyone. I was off sick for 2  weeks with flu and a chest infection, and she was really nice about it, but when it was just me and her in the office she would say snidey things about me being off, and that she didn't want me having anymore time off. She never said it when there was anyone there to witness it though!!  This just made me more anxious, worrying that I would have to have more sick days and just made me feel so much worse.   There was such a high turnover of staff too! I'm so glad to be out of there, but at the same time really feel the loss of confidence.  Will definitely have a look at the National Careers Service, thank you for that.   

We will get through this, and coming on here helps a great deal to know that we're all in the same boat. Hope you find something soon xx

[Babsm67]

Thanks, Cherrycrumble  . It sounds like you had a really nasty experience & are definitely better off out of there.  I hope you will find the National Careers website helpful - thanks to the advisor I saw last winter, I signed up for a free maths course & finally, after nearly giving up a few times, passed the exam in the summer (something I had wanted to do since leaving school!).  Somewhere, I have the notes from my Skills Health Check (from the National Careers website) & need to refer to them for ideas (when I originally saw the advisor, I wanted to see what would help me get back into schools & also needed help with my CV). 
Thanks for the encouraging message - yes, we will get through this!  Wishing you all the best in finding a new job too  xx
 

[CLKD]

Could you tutor privately?  Or mark exam papers?  Or mentor an adult needing support who is now learning to read and write?  Prison Service mentoring?

[Babsm67]

Hello CLKD, I have just seen your message from last night - thanks for your suggestions  . I don't feel I am qualified or confident enough to do private tuition for children (as certain aspects of Maths are my weak points - the exam I passed didn't include those!) but I could do exam invigilation as I used to read & scribe for older children during tests and GCSEs &, as it happens, a school in a nearby town is advertising for casual exam invigilators.  I'm not sure about actually marking exam papers - it wou!d depend on the subject!  Even as I type this, my stomach is churning at the thought of even applying but, if I don't, I can see that I will retreat ever further into my shell.  However, working with adults who are learning to read and write actually appeals to me most of all (English is my strongest subject) and is something I had not even thought about.  I don't know if the local college could help in that aspect but I will certainly look into it.    so much again for your help  xx