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[Mojo61]

I went for my ultrasound scan this morning as I've been having bleeding on and off since I started Conti HRT in February.

The sonographer did both an external and an internal scan and said she would send the full report to my doctor who should receive it within about a week.

I asked her if she could see anything and she said there was nothing of any major importance that worried her, I do have some fibroids but apparantly a lot of women have them and don't even know.

I've got myself into a right state now thinking that maybe it's something else and she didn't want to tell me. She just kept saying the doctor will contact you to discuss the results.

[Ju Ju]

I had this. Believe her that there is nothing sinister to worry about. She would have kept quiet if there was and its not her job to discuss details. In fact, she could get into trouble if she did, so don't read anything into it. For me there was thickening of the walls, which meant rethinking the balance of progesterone and oestrogen. Now go and do something you enjoy to take your mind off it! 

[Justjules]

I agree with Ju Ju, Mojo.  They never tell you anything so that makes us even more anxious!  The fact that she did actually say that she couldn't see anything of any great importance should go some way to console you. I wished I lived in Spain when it comes to medical matters - over there you are seen the same day for everything, tests, see the Consultant/DR and then results etc. 

[Mojo61]

Do you honestly think so Ju Ju? My health anxiety has gone into overdrive now and I'm trying desperately not too google because I did google fibroids and it said they are tumours, usually benign - USUALLY!!!

[Mojo61]

Thank you JustJules. Yes, I'd rather pay and have the results back om the same day than wait a week for them. This option was available at the clinic but I didn't know until the receptionist told me after the scan.

[Ju Ju]

It must be very difficult to live with health anxiety. It's seems to be a common symptom of menopause. I wonder why. I'm fortunate not to have to cope with this. That's not to say that I don't consult the doctor if anything causes concern. But the concern doesn't go into overdrive.

[Joyce]

"Nothing of any major importance" is a phrase which sent me into overdrive after an ECG recently. If they say nothing we worry & if they say something, we inevitably read between lines which aren't actually there. 

I only had to wait overnight, for results to be absolutely fine. How long do you have to wait?

[Mojo61]

She said the results should be back with my doctor in about a week

[Mojo61]

It must be very difficult to live with health anxiety. It's seems to be a common symptom of menopause. I wonder why. I'm fortunate not to have to cope with this. That's not to say that I don't consult the doctor if anything causes concern. But the concern doesn't go into overdrive.

Is is absolutely awful. I never had anything like this before I hit menopause, I was always a rational and reasoned person when it came to my health. But now any little spot or pain gets magnified a million times until I've convinced myself it is terminal. Dreadful, truly dreadful...

[Ju Ju]

 

Do you think this is part of being frightened of dying?

Maybe I don't suffer because when I was 40, I became ill. While I knew that there would be medical intervention, I was aware that I was floating slowly away. It was very peaceful.

Since then I have thought about my own mortality. In fact, on a course I did, we had to consider our own mortality and even tell those close to us what we wanted at our funerals! It sounds very morbid, but was actually liberating. It certainly opened up conversation with my nearest and dearest and got them thinking too. They did have some bizarre suggestions!

I've read about near death experiences, including a neurologist. I found that my fear of dying has lessened, which means I can get on with being alive. This brings to mind a quote from where I can't remember, but that 'we are spirits having a human experience.' That sits comfortably with me.

[Justjules]

Ju Ju, this may start a new thread because it would be interesting to know people's fears behind HA.

With me, it's not so much the actual dying, it's the responsibility that I feel towards my lovely Mum, who at 85 relies on me as I'm an only child, and I want to look after her when her time comes and there is no-one else that I can lean on for that, no siblings  and also my son.  Even though I have two sons, 1 daughter, my youngest son (28) was seriously ill when he was 17/18 with what turned out to be Crohn's but they thought it was cancer, and although he is well now, he is my 'baby' and is a bit like me anxiety wise but not as bad thankfully, so I am terrified that I will die and he will not cope whereas I know the other two would because they are much more independent.

I too, was very ill when I was in my 20s (similar thing to son - I nearly died but instead of me taking comfort from it, it terrified me and so kicked off my life of HA and distrust of Drs.  I am scared that I won't get the correct treatment, will be neglected in hospital, scared of the actual 'suffering' bit not so much the lovely peaceful end (hopefully!), so that also feeds my HA.  I picture worse case scenarios all the time, am terrified of hospital machinery and tests.  Not good!

Sorry for hijacking your thread but it's interesting to hear how other people cope from the 'other side' of this awful thing.

I so, so wish I was like you Ju Ju - I just want to get on with my life and not live like this in fear every day. 

[Mojo61]

I'm not sure what actually started my HA, just that it appeared around the time of menopause. My main fear is cancer and I think that's because first I lost my mum to lymphoma when I was 6 months pregnant, and then when our son was 9 my husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and he died 4 months later. Then my neighbour had a slight pain in his neck which turned out to be terminal lung cancer, and he's only 56..

[Ju Ju]

Mojo, have you talked to someone about all your bereavements, like to someone in Cruse Bereavement Care for example? That is an awful lot of pain to carry. You can talk and talk about all your feelings in a safe space to someone who is non judgemental and caring, but not emotionally involved. It can really help.

Justjules, do you want to start a new thread? It might be helpful for some people, firstly to know they are not alone. I am convinced that the menopause compounds many existing issues, both health and emotional. I wonder whether those women who sail through or have fewer symptoms experienced happy, secure childhoods. You have had so much to deal with. Probably for me, the difference is that I knew I would get the help I required. Also, I was with my sister a lot before she died. She was terminally ill and died bit by bit. I could see her drifting off slowly. She had always been terrified of dying and couldn't discuss it, until near the end. I felt it sad she couldn't face it earlier and be able to take more joy about living, while she could.

[Stick_insect]

Mojo
If there is anything suspect on your scan at all the results will be rushed through to your GP and they will contact you rather than you having to contact them. I had my scans on the Tuesday and my GP called me on the Thursday. So please try to believe that no news is good news.

[dazned]

How are you doing now stick_insect ?