Hi ad welcome DEG
It doesn't matter when you use the gel (do read the instruction about use) as the level of oestrogen will build and your body does store some - you can split it as your doctor has said but I always used 2 pumps at the same time either morning or evening. It is very early days and it takes time for the hormones to do the magic so I suspect you are still getting peri meno fluctuations which will take 2-3 months to settle once the HRT takes control. What progesterone are you going to use?
I'm afraid you need to be patient, HRT does not sort everything and the body needs time to adjust and settle.
Do remember that if your oestrogen levels are low then, at your age, HRt is the right treatment, not just to control meno symptoms but also to protect your heart and bones for the long term. Do try to learn and practise some relaxation techniques - I do Mindful Meditation which I find great.
Anxiety and low mood are the meno symptoms that are the most difficult for control and many women need both HRT and an SRRI alongside. Give the HRT at least 3-6 months to see if it helps and if the anxiety is not improved then maybe add in an SRRI like Citalopram.
Keep us posted. Dg x