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[Spangles]

Hi Ladies,
Not posted for a while as I've really been feeling GREAT! However the last week I've gone back down 😟
I am experiencing high anxiety, and scrambled egg head, ( when my cognition so get scrambled!)
I take AD's,  Utrogestan 200x12 and evorel 50.
I have have had a breakdown in the past, I have had CBT and various therapies. I do not wish to go through any of these interventions again as its too much for me and to be honest I've had a fair few and I'm not convinced they actually solve anything, I believe it comes from within however I do struggle to get into the right mind set.
I'm so frightened of getting poorly again.
My issues from the past always come back to scare me and if I'm not careful I let them take over what the current issues are.
Do any of you lovely ladies have any advice?
I just want to feel good again.
Thanks
Shellb
xXx

[Justjules]

Hi Shellb, sorry to hear you're struggling a bit again.  I'm more or less exactly the same as you i.e. just got over a breakdown with all the relevant medications and therapies but don't take HRT.  I suffer terrible health anxiety to the point I became obsessed with how I felt all the time.  I'm trying to stay as positive as I can, which isn't easy for me as I tend to be such a pessimist and the glass is always 'empty' never mind 'half empty'!!  The only thing I am doing differently this time is really, really doing a lot of self-talk, affirmations and trying to do relaxation when I can.  I've been re-reading Louise Hay's "You can heal your life" and taking quite a bit of positivity from that.  Don't get me wrong, it's not easy and I fail some days but I am so determined not to go back to that awful pit of despair for a long, long time.  I may get to the edge of it from time to time, but I feel I know enough at the moment to stop it spiralling out of control.  Something happened at the end stages of the last spell that gave me a real wakeup call - just had had about enough and then got food poisoning one weekend and was literally making a fool out of myself with both family and a trip to a&e and something just snapped and I thought 'enough is enough', there's only me who can get me out of this, there was little support from family, my Mum was too old to cope with it this time and so I pulled myself up and just literally started to change my mindset a bit at a time and so far, it's helping hugely.  I know I'm still a work in progress and that I was so depleted and down for 6 months that my body still isn't right even if my mind is.  I'm struggling energy wise, feel like I'm walking through treacle most days, wish I didn't have to work as it's so exhausting even just sitting at a desk typing, but I am telling myself that it will start to get better soon and literally just taking each day for what it is.  Not sure if you're into Mindfulness but being 'present' each day and giving thanks for what they day gives, however small, and passing off the difficult ones as 'gone' and moving to the next.  It's the only way I can handle things at the moment. 

At the end of the day, we are the only ones who can heal ourselves and I'm now convinced that it's literally just changing our mindset that does it, albeit alongside whatever medication is helping or can help.  I've read all the books, seen all the different therapists, everything.  It's just up to us.

I'm sorry for the ramble!  I totally understand where you are coming from though. x

[Mardy]

Hi Shellb,

Sorry that you are not feeling good.

I don't take Ad's at the moment, but am struggling & awaiting seeing someone.

I did do some Mindfullness a while back & do use various things from that to quieten the inner negative voice. I try & concentrate on what I am doing & my breath & that does help if things are really bad. It gives a bit of respite.

You say that issues from the past come back & take over - would it be worthwhile seeing someone to find out if that can be resolved?

[CLKD]

What's the worst that can happen if you recall issues that are painful?  Have you tried journalling?  I found that writing down anything and everything that came out of my brain helped enormously.  It was never read by anyone else, when I re-read it 5 years later  ……….

Jot down the negatives and positives of your current Life?  Also, making a list of 'things to do' each evening and ticking them off in the day, gives you an idea as to what you *do* achieve!

[Spangles]

Thank you Ladies,
When I was like this a couple of years ago, (I was quite bad at the time), I had a little book that I used to try to write positive things in that I had done each day, even if it was just giving way to someone in my car. I think I will try this again.
xXx

[CLKD]

I never want to feel as ill as I did with depression and anxiety in the late 1990s  .

Why have your issues risen their ugly head again? Are you dreaming?

[babyjane]

In the past various types of counselling have never helped me in the long term.  CBT helped me cope on a day to day basis with stressful events but for deep rooted issues from your past and your childhood these therapies do not touch it.  I was advised to go for psychodynamic therapy which is geared towards helping you understand why things deep in the subconscious past affect how you behave in the present.  It is not a short term fix and I have been seeing my chap for 6 months now and, at times, I don't recognise myself now.  It is quite a commitment and hard work and you have to go every week to begin with but when you find the right therapist you really do start to see results.

[Mardy]

Hi Babyjane - I so hope to start some therapy soonish. I have to see a psychiatrist next month, but then should get an appointment for therapy.

I had such a dysfunctional upbringing and weird family stuff going on up until the past few years that is so off the scale I do need to exorcise loads of demons - for want of a better cliche.

Glad to hear that you have found it helpful to you - gives me hope. And we could all do with some of that - ot at least I could at the mo.

[Spangles]

CLKD
The issues have risen again as I am due to break from work for summer 7wks, I have no plans and I have been ill at this time before. I always get anxious about summer break and start to worry and then old things come back to the fore and take over! A vicious circle really. It's just so frustrating when I have been feeling so well

[dulciana]

Recently, I've had a bit of time to ponder various things and I've managed to see the wood for the trees, a bit.  Two things about myself, that I'd like to change, are direct results of my childhood and teenage years.   It's going to take a bit of effort to work on them both, but at least it's saved me a bit of money..........

[CLKD]

AAAHHH - out of routine throws me too!  I hated Monday mornings after a weekend of togetherness, it would make me quite ill until after lunch.  Every week   

Have you thought of volunteering to fill the time?  I can't remember what your employment is ………. or what hobbies you have?  When I first left work completely I was going to do all 'those' jobs that never got done …… even wiping the tops of doors each week  ………. I sat in the garden rather than do chores though  .

Do you make lists?  I find that helps me to form a daily structure.  Ticking off shows me what I have achieved.  Do you prefer to have a fixed routine or are you flexible as the weeks go by? i.e. if a friend suggested a walk would you drop your routine to go spontaneously?

Give us some ideas of what you like doing, we can then fill your time for you ?  .  The worry about your going backwards is real enough, which is why for me, routine is important. 

[CLKD]

What did you decide? 

What do you like doing? I know that there are several companies locally that offer up ironing services etc.; general volunteering if you have Charities close by; walking someone's dog ……..