Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Borneoid]

Hi Ladies and fellow posters


I've been reading lots of your comments and want to empathise. It's a disgrace that we don't get more support, care and understanding from the medical profession and that finding a good and knowledgeable doctor is like finding a needle in a haystack.

I've been bottling a lot up for a long time and now I really want to get it off my chest so this is an epic post....

I guess I'm only a year and a bit into this confusing and draining chapter of my life. I'm 50.5 and the indicators began a month after I turned 49. Before this, I used to just get on with things when I felt ill and rarely made a fuss but boy have I since changed.

I seem to spend a lot of time moaning about how I feel soooooooo tired all of the time. My poor husband and good friend/work colleague bear the brunt of my whinging. I feel as though I'm turning into a hypochondriac except I really do feel ill.
I've had to see a lot of GPs over the last 18 months, more than any time in my life, and when I mention it to Drs, they just stare at me and say nothing. It's like I'm in a bubble and when I start to speak 'meno' they go deaf. My fave GP ( female) did recommend Menopause Matters to me and talked about HRT, but trying to get an appointment with her now is like getting into Fort Knox.

I want to say at this point I'm a very lucky IVF mum. I pumped myself full of synthetic hormones in order to produce two beautiful children in my late 30's and then paid for it with prolonged periods, dietary and metabolism problems ever since, so now the very last thing I want to do is go on HRT. Respect to all you ladies who are, it sure sounds complicated, but I just can't bear the thought of it. I'm a big fan of Dr Marilyn Glenville and always vowed I'd get through the menopause using her supplements but the prices are too prohibitive for me at the moment.

So this is me, where I am at right  now ...

I get whooshes of hormone surges, I can feel them. I start to shudder inside and get emotional. 
I am regularly scratching my skin. Especially at night.
Periods are intermittent - 2 months since the last one.
My memory is ..... I can't remember. 
I get horrible sickly headaches at night which often last all day and make me feel like I'm having a body migraine. 
I  wake up between 2 - 4 am  six nights out of seven then stay awake for  a couple of hours before nodding off. When the alarm goes off I can't talk let alone move ( and I do like to talk) and I'm usually a morning person.
Achy joints
Some days I feel like I am wading through glue. 
The flushes are back with a vengeance after a long break from them.
Libido is defunct. 
Add to that 6 months of physio, acute asthma and IBS plus Gastro oesophageal Reflux Disease and life is feeling a challenge. 

My mother used to go on and on and on about the menopause to me when she went through it. I had to know about every hot flush. Fetch the handheld fan. It used to make me cringe and so I don't want to share it with my daughter or other people. I would die of embarrassment if my male friends and colleagues knew what I was going through. Why do I feel like this? Why am I not menopausal and proud? Has society done this to me?

I think I'm a lively, vibrant girl, still full of youth and aspiration whose mission in life is to inspire and motivate others to grow in confidence and achieve. But do these others look at me and think I'm jaded. This is the part that makes me want to cry.

So my question is am I normal? 

[Borneoid]

Hi Sparkle

Your reply means a lot to me, thank you for your encouraging welcome that made me feel normal and that I'm not going mad.

I'd really like to know if IVF women have similar symptoms between giving birth and menopause. My stomach bloats as if I'm 9 months pregnant all the time. I wonder if there's a study out there. I'm under a Gastro consultant at the moment - I think I will ask him.

One of my children uses sparkle in their online nickname 

B x

[Riley04]

I'm new to this site, only joined yesterday.  But I just wanted to say hi and yes you are normal (well whatever normal means). 
I'm very confused with everything at the moment but what you wrote is so true you put it so brilliantly it made me smile.
Sorry I can't offer any help or advice.  I've just taken my first hrt tablet today but have refused hrt for the last 6 years.....lets see if this opens a new world.
Keep smiling 

[kpatton56]

Hats off to you both for all that you went through to have your family. I think that takes huge courage. I didn't share that experience but looking back I can see that hormones have had an effect on my life and wellbeing or otherwise since I hit puberty!
I don't think you should rule out hrt. It isn't always complicated and can make a huge difference. Whatever you choose wishing you brighter days ahead 😀

[dangermouse]

My sister had IVF for her 2 children due to endometriosis and I've had much worse hormonal issues than her, so don't be too down on the IVF as being a cause. The fact you needed IVF suggests you already had hormonal imbalance, so HRT may not cause you any probs and could, in fact, rebalance you. I too had all the gastro issues which are one of the first signs of perimenopause.

Please don't be concerned about what others think, there is nothing to be embarrassed about just because they may feel embarrassed - which you may be recalling from when your mother went through it. Equally, don't feel under pressure to be yelling it from the rooftops, just confide in those you need to and those who might benefit themselves from knowing more.

Menopause is a natural state and the more we chat matter of fact about it, the more others can learn and be informed for their own info. I have told lots of people about it and I've not had one negative or embarrassed reaction - including with men. Everyone has seemed genuinely interested and come back with their own thoughts, fears and experiences.

Taboo is a self fulfilling prophecy which we can apply to anything, it's all about your attitude to it and how you reflect that.

Good luck!

[Frankie3030]

Morning

Reading your story is a bit like reading mine.  I did several rounds of IVF at 39 years so the levels of what was being pumped into me was high.  I hated every single cycle as it made me feel so awful.  Sadly I didnt have children. Slowly I started to get insomnia, felt like I was walking through treacle, moods were just all one the place, I lacked energy and was so tired, I couldnt concentrate, my periods were worse, I kept taking time of work, the list goes on.  I simply was not functioning properly despite my acting like everything was OK.  One day I just broke down in the car to my husband and said I couldnt explain it but I didnt feel well.   

I went to my GP several times and she kept saying I must be depressed because of the fact IVF was unsuccessful but I just knew deep down that I wasnt depressed.......sad yes but depressed no.  This carried on for months, and eventually I gave in and tried anti depressants - the hell then started.  I felt way worse - I suddenly did feel utterly depressed, I felt wired, anxious, had panic attacks. My GPs answer was just dishing out different anti depressants. At my lowest point, my friend said enough and made me go to her psychiatrist who said I was not depressed but I had PTSD due to the IVF and that it was absolutely ridiculous that I had been handed out anti depressants like sweets.  All the GP had to do was to listen to me.  I should have stuck to my guns but when a GP keeps telling you that you are depressed you start to believe them because you are meant to trust them.  My hormones were all over the place after IVF and I should have had some hormonal help when it was suggested way back then, but I resisted because all I could think about was how  awful IVF was.

The other side to this was, that in one my of my blood tests I had positive ANA (indicator that my immune system was not as it should be).  Finally I found out that due to IVF (they think because of the high levels of hormones during IVF) it has trigged Sjogrens/Lupus so I am now being treated for this.  I have also finally started low levels of HRT and I am finally getting results and reasons for why I was feeling so terrible.

I think after IVF when things have settled everyone should have their hormones checked as sometimes IVF can leave your hormones all over the place.  Skip the GP and see a hormone specialist.  When your hormones aren't right you can have insomnia, mood swings, anxiety, aching joints, hair loss, muscle pain...............the list goes on.  I wish I had hormonal help years ago!

[CLKD]

   all - 

HORMONES    - I had painful periods from about the 4/5th bleed …… dreadful PMT in my 30s  - fortunately not too many menopausal symptoms.  Before peri I was already taking anti-depressants and Betablockas so I think I didn't have those problems as they were already treated.

Do read through.  Make notes.  Ask.  Nothing is taboo here!

[Borneoid]

Thanks for your welcomes and responses ladies.
Riley04 - it's good to meet a fellow newbie too. Do update on how the HRT goes - I'd really like to know what changes you notice.

Sparkle - like you I had to have a c section, both times as an emergency in the end and have been borderline anaemic since.
Frankie3030 - I can relate to a lot of what you say. Thank you for sharing what has been a traumatic experience for you, I'm really glad that you persisted and eventually got the right answers, but you really went through the mill and I'm so sorry too you had to go through that.
I'm learning fast that reading experiences like yours actually helps and yes, I agree with Sparkle that you make a brilliant point about hormone testing.

On the hormones point - CLKD, Dangermouse. I did go to a complementary medicine clinic 8 months after my first baby and was told that my hormones were all over the place. I was given a range of expensive supplements including progesterone cream to rub on my wrists and thighs (where my skin was thinnest apparently) which did help. I've also tried Shiatsu and Bowen and that helped to balance too.
I was put on citilipram to try and calm me down and sort my IBS attacks which linked to painful, heavy and prolonged (2week) periods I had for 9 years and interestingly in the end what stabilised me and did the trick was progesterone tablets.

This is already a liberating forum for me packed with experience and wisdom which is reassuring to be a member of.

Here's to happy days and bodies girls! 

Bx

[Sammas]

I think we all think we are going mad, but what is normal? I understand what you mean about wanting to appear fine with most people I am an upbeat person but some days want to run away and keep running or hide away.  This site is good as people understand and are non- judgemental.  I only talk about stuff with a few friends, mainly making a joke out of it as don't want to be all doom and gloom I have never had HRT which really scares me
Good luck on this journey xxx

[Borneoid]

I like the idea of making a joke out of it Sammas, as I hate being doom and gloom about it too. Plus I sometimes feel bad being like that with my friend who hasn't started it yet. 

[Hurdity]

Don't be scared of it (HRT) Sammas! It won't bite! I know how you feel but once you've got over that feeling - it's downhill (?uphill) all the way ie positive

Hurdity x

[Sammas]

How do you know which HRT to try? The thought of feeling worse is so scary When I feel like this things are an effort but I keep going I just hate planning anything as I never know how I will feel x

[kpatton56]

Hi Sammas
My advice re hrt would be to go to a go who knows about menopause and maybe someone could recommend and then start on a low dose of whatever is prescribed. It won't harm you but can be life changing. Keep posting!!! K

[Noodle]

Hi.  There are lots of HRT recipes out there with different methods of delivery -pills, patches, gels and pessaries. Different ladies do better on different ones.

 The one item that seems (to me!) to cause more problems than others though is a progestogen called Norethisterone.  This can be found in sequi and conti preparations in both pills and patches.

Having said that though, lots of  ladies do absolutely fine on it!

In short, there is no "better" or " worse" overall.  Age wise, you can be better off risk wise on transdermal methods, but after that, I think, it's down to individual chemistry.

[Lady Daviot]

Hi guys this is so me and I am forever grateful for this fab diet and words of wisdom.