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[Annidav]

Hi - I have been suffering from severe anxiety for the past month or so which has resulted in me taking a week off sick to let the HRT tablets take effect but I am still suffering; I have now been asked to deal with something at work next week which is my worst nightmare and which I know is going to cause me severe anxiety - it already ihas since yesterday, I woke at 2.08 this morning in a panic; I know it will get worse; my head boss (female aged. Nearly 52) knows my situation but clearly does not appreciate the severity or understands as I thought she did, as it is her who has told me I have to do this; I feel I need to go back to her and tell her that I really don't feel that I can deal with this situation but I feel very angry (and anxious) at being put in the position where I feel I have to go back to her and  basically feel like I am trying to wriggle out of something which someone else will have to pick up.... Getting myself into absolute knots about it

[dulciana]

Fiftygirl, will it matter much if somebody else picks this task up?  i.e. Is this something more suited to somebody who isn't suffering from the unpleasant reality of meno anxiety?   The thing is, anxiety (which I also suffer from) can have such a knock-on effect on other parts of our lives and this is a time in our lives when we have to look after ourselves a bit. 

[Joyce]

You need to be honest & tell your boss that you are feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of carrying out this task. Ask if you could get help or preferably can someone else take over. People who have never suffered with anxiety are unaware of how it can affect others.

[Annidav]

Thank you all  for your replies.  I sent an email to manager first thing (we are no longer office based and all work remotely or from an open plan hot desk area so it is very difficult to have a private telephone conversation)-I have yet to hear back from her but things have moved on a little as I came up with a solution (or so I thought) which I ran past my two senior colleagues (who are aware of my situation) who both agreed but with caveats - so I have had to come clean and confess how panicked I am - one in particular is now trying to help to resolve the situation....           

[CLKD]

So hopefully your colleagues will help find a resolution.  It's difficult when feeling panicky to form a proper response …. would you lose your job if you refuse completely?

Has your GP discussed with you emergency tablets to take to ease such situations?  Knowing that the 1 I take works when panic attacks ground me to the point of suicide helps me cope and I don't have to take more than necessary; i.e. 1 tablet lasts 12-24 hours.

Let us know what happens!

[Annidav]

Thank you CLKD - my colleague took matters in hand and has resolved the immediate issue for me; I take 40mg propranolol as and when I feel it is needed and took some this morning; still haven't heard back from head but had a phone call from  my younger male line manager just wanting to know how I was doing.......thank you all again for your responses; I also talked hubby out of coming home (he works up country during the week) as this would have made me feel guilty, and anxious.....xx

[Annidav]

CLKD - sorry meant to have also said in my reply to yours that I'm sorry to hear of the level of your panic attacks 

[CLKD]

I take Propranolol every morning and night I can't understand why a GP would suggest 'as necessary'  whereas Valium-type tablets are for emergency use.  I cut my 40mg in half to avoid the heavy headaches I had last year.

I have used Rescue Remedy successfully too.

[babyjane]

hello fiftygirl, I do not have the pressure of work but I do suffer with anxiety, part hormonal and part psychological.

I agree with CLKD, I used to take propranolol when the anxiety surges floored me but since my GP suggested taking a low dose daily to keep the surges on an even keel it has worked better, less ups and downs.  I also take a low dose antidepressant to help me make sense of things.

It must be so difficult to deal with a responsible job when struggling with issues such as these and I hope things work out for you over this  job.

[dangermouse]

Well done for finding a solution and being honest about your situation to colleagues - we can't guarantee they'll all understand but it sounds like you have some good guys there. 'Anxiety' can sound like a dirty word to some employers, as they believe that it's used as an excuse and seems frivolous to those who haven't experienced it. Please rise above them though and don't let their ignorance cause you any guilt.

I recently had to do something that felt extremely out of my depth work-wise, right in the depth of hormonal hell! As the adrenaline rushes were there anyway, the task at hand turned into a distraction and the level of nerves was much the same (as there's only so much adrenaline we can pump out!), considering how important the people were who I had to impress. All went very well and it's now given me the confidence to not turn any other opportunities down.

I know it's a scary time, however, the adrenal rushes are not dangerous and reframing that can really help once you just allow yourself to ride them out, if that makes sense. I too used that BB as and when at the beginning (before the pill calmed a lot of it down) and it worked really well for me. I didn't want to take as a course in case of any dependency/withdrawal effects. However, as the others mention, a constant low dose is another option if you find the gaps in between are too overwhelming.

Good luck with gradually getting back to work and, if you end up feeling the job is too demanding at this time, then maybe consider a new, more relaxing career, if you have the option.

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on!