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[Mia]

Well here I am, back here again after a year or two I think... no period for approx 16months flushes/flashes not bad at all.... nor are night sweats a problem...big problem for me is mood swings, black holes of depression....not constant but there when my mood changes ...oh and mood swings..and along comes great anger too.
Getting real fed up of everything *sigh*
When will I feel like 'me' again I wonder.....

[Dancinggirl]

Mia - I don't think we should expect to be the person we were before the menopause.  The ‘CHANGE' is just that, we change in many ways.  It's a new phase in our lives - a hundred years ago we were lucky to even get to menopause age!
I have certainly changed my lifestyle and mindset.  I have become more selfish, focusing on what is best for me and not allowing friends and family to make too many demands - this does involve saying 'NO' and not feeling guilty for saying 'NO', which takes quite a lot of discipline. As a result, people seem to appreciate what I do for them more and I am not constantly at their beck and call.  I have also realised I need a lot more rest and relaxation days these. I do a lot of walking and relieve my stress by gardening and doing lots of Mindful Meditation.
I am certainly more irritable and less tolerant - I don't suffer fools much these days.
I actually think we are meant to become more self centred as we age, as this is a self defence strategy.  DG x

[CLKD]

HORMONES    .

How were your moods during your menstruating years?  How is your diet?  Eating regularly can ease some anxiety surges.  There are medications to take on an as-necessary basis to help anxiety. 

Have you kept a mood/food/cycle diary to chart your ups and downs?

[babyjane]

Dancinggirl thank you for your comments.  I am working towards being less defined by what others want and what I think they want from me.  I have not yet found the courage to say 'no' but I will.  I have a daughter in law who tends to throw a strop when you do not do what she wants and then our son stops speaking to us for several days for upsetting her.  To be honest our grandchildren behave better than their parents!

I am not yet totally true to myself and am still a little bit scared but with the help I am getting I believe I will get there.

Mia I agree with dancinggirl, I am not the person I was before the menopause but I am getting to know who I am now and I am finding I quite like who I am.  I don't think I would want to be the old me again, she was a mess 

The menopause is definitely the change of life and, personally, I prefer to go into the rest of my life and find out what it has for me than want to go back to what I once was.  However when you are in the midst of distressing symptoms it is easier to want the familiarity of what you once knew, I get that as I was the same until I started to come out the other side.

[Kathleen]

Hello Mia and welcome back!

Sorry to learn that you are suffering and I do sympathise. I too have never had many night sweats but your other symptoms certainly ring a  bell. One thing I've noticed is that HRT has lessened my anger and I no longer have the rages of a 14 year old boy!

I'm sure other ladies will be along to offer advice and I wish you well.

Take care.

K.

[booboo]

Mia - I get all the emotional/mental stuff, mood swings, anx, black holes of dep .. Don't know the answer I am afraid - but you are not alone..