Dancinggirl thank you for your comments. I am working towards being less defined by what others want and what I think they want from me. I have not yet found the courage to say 'no' but I will. I have a daughter in law who tends to throw a strop when you do not do what she wants and then our son stops speaking to us for several days for upsetting her. To be honest our grandchildren behave better than their parents!
I am not yet totally true to myself and am still a little bit scared but with the help I am getting I believe I will get there.
Mia I agree with dancinggirl, I am not the person I was before the menopause but I am getting to know who I am now and I am finding I quite like who I am. I don't think I would want to be the old me again, she was a mess
The menopause is definitely the change of life and, personally, I prefer to go into the rest of my life and find out what it has for me than want to go back to what I once was. However when you are in the midst of distressing symptoms it is easier to want the familiarity of what you once knew, I get that as I was the same until I started to come out the other side.