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[Justjules]

Oh heck, been consulting Dr Google again because I'm so fed up of this wobbly shaking and anxiety. The Citalopram isn't touching it at all. All it has done is stop me crying.

Therapist still thinks it's all adrenaline and hyper vigilance but googled 'wobbly legs in morning' and it came up with MS so now convinced that's what it is. The morning shakes are another symptom too. Don't feel anywhere near ok till after lunch nowadays but even then, I walked into a room of my mums friends yesterday and went into what I suppose was panic syndrome, heart racing, shakes etc. I'm falling apart. Supposed to be going on holiday in a month but can't face it. At dr's on Tuesday for follow up but also been looking up 'parathyroid' and symptoms fit that too. I just can't accept that this is all anxiety. It all started after going onto the awful Sertraline and then coming of the BBs and going onto Citalopram so I just want to know what has caused what or has it masked something more serious. I don't want to put ideas in dr's head and then be sent for a pile of frightening tests but can't stand feeling like this every morning.

[Ju Ju]

What are you frightened of? Do you think it is a fear of dying?

[Kathleen]

Hello Justjules.

I think your recent changes of meds plus meno symptoms are all contributing to your physical and emotional state so I'm not surprised you are struggling!

I hope your follow up appointment next week helps to reassure you that all is basically well and you are just like the rest of us ladies, menopause victims!

Sending hugs and best wishes. You are not alone, by any means.

K.

[Justjules]

Thanks ladies but I am well post meno...at least 7 years or so. It's just anxiety can mask so many other things it worries me. My Dr is thorough so if I tell her my symptoms she'll rush me off for a barrage of tests. Even she said she wondered if it was something medical last time. X

[coldethyl]

I get the morning shakey feelings, the adrenaline rushes and so on. I also get numb face, weird heads and so on- I guess I could have MS but it just isn't one of my things so I don't worry about it. If your GP was at all concerned, they'd send you for further tests. You've seen them, have explained your symptoms and are seeing them again so can voice any concerns again, but remember, a doctor doesn't have to rely on a search engine to conjure up a diagnosis. You say you are afraid it is something physical yet don't want the tests- sadly it is one or the other- worry or have some tests to rule things out. A simple blood test would tell you if your thyroid is playing up- are you losing weight as that can be an indicator of hyperthyroid? I do think you need some sort of therapy as you are clearly struggling- illness is part and parcel of life but you can learn ways of handling it and your reaction to it better.  You have health anxiety and that brings a whole raft of unpleasant physical and mental symptoms without adding in drug reactions and the menopause so it is hardly surprising that you feel so unwell. I really do think that you need to ask for a referral to a specialist centre dealing with this issue- it is a form of OCD and is best treat by someone who has experience in dealing with that. Thinking of you.x

[Justjules]

Thanks Coldethyl, I sound like a broken record don't I? MS wasn't one of my concerns either it's just when the first person on the internet said her MS symptoms were wobbly and weak legs in a morning, that was it. My Dr knows I am shaky but don't think I told her about the legs in a morning. Yes, I do need proper help but again, where do you get it from? The waiting lists are so long and I ended up last time with a counsellor who said I needed CBT but that was useless. Considering it's mental health week again on Radio 2, why oh why are we all struggling so much. X

[Taz2]

Hi Justjules - It's horrible to be so beset with worry and that, of course, makes any anxiety symptoms worse. Yes wobbly legs can be part of MS and other illnesses but you would have other symptoms too - not just wobbly legs. It is unusual to develop MS later in life. I've found this anxiety page which may help as it even mentions the fact that if you are anxious then you may feel wobbly, weak legs means you have MS. http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms/weak-legs.shtml 

Also, I'm not sure how long you have been on Citolapram but the initial side effects (first two to three weeks) do include feeling weak and shaky.

Taz x

[babyjane]

JJ I don't think I can reassure you because, like I did, you read the words people put to you but you don't believe them in your heart.  I was like that too.  I went onto Citalopram last October and was changed to the sister drug Escitalopram in January as it is supposed to have less side effects.  I still didn't like them so I stopped them for 2 weeks and in that 2 weeks I realised that they were actually doing something so I went back on them.  Even now I still have side effects from them that I don't like and one is a surge of anxiety and agitation about 45 minutes after taking my dose which lasts till after lunch and I hate it even though I know it is going to wear off.  I now also take a low dose beta blocker in the morning to take the edge off.

These SSRIs are chemicals and alter the serotonin levels so I sincerely think part of the difficulty you are experiencing could be to do with the ups and downs you have had with different brands of SSRI medication especially if you are sensitive to them as I am.  I don't know for sure because I am not medically trained, but when I think back over my ups and downs and that I am still not settled it could be a contributing factor in your difficulties.

I wish you well.

[dangermouse]

I just had a Google for you and there seems to be a lot of people who are having rebound effects from suddenly stopping higher dose long-term beta blockers. They seem to be suffering between 2 weeks to over 6 months, due to the drug blocking adrenal receptors which then goes haywire when you stop.

The women on one forum were mentioning MS like symptoms and were advising each other to gradually lower the dose over the course of 6 months, although you would still get some symptoms until everything goes back to normal. As you suddenly stopped yours, it has possibly set off this severe rebound withdrawal effect. They seemed to think that GPs were not well informed on how severe withdrawal can be.

Sometimes the right Googling can help you rather than worry you. If you put something like I did in 'beta blocker rebound how long' you will see the same sites and discussions.

If you do go back on them after your appointment you're waiting for then this will no doubt stop/reduce the symptoms, otherwise you could ask the GP to let you have a low dose to gradually reduce, because you are possibly experiencing quite severe withdrawal effects - just say you know others who have if they try to dismiss this.

Adrenal symptoms can be varied with anxiety rushes, twitches and shaking, and can also be a meno symptom due to the low oestrogen causing excess adrenaline to compensate, and high oestrogen in peri causing it as a direct effect. However, yours may be more to do with the BBs going by the other experiences I've just read about.

[CLKD]

You probably aren't on a high enough dose of Citalopram  .  Something to discuss with your real GP!

[Justjules]

Thanks all. Sorry didn't get back to your kind responses yesterday as I was with my Mum all day.

I take on board everything you all say as yes, I know it could be a host of things that are connected i.e. the changes in meds, my anxious state and worry but I, like so many of us, am just so desperate to know what it is and then I can accept it and get on with life but I just go to pieces over every new thing and I know that's not helpful.

Coldethyl, the thyroid blood test only checks T4 and something else apparently as you need T3 testing for true thyroid readings which dr's don't do unless pushed, probably due to cost.

CLKD, I am now on 20mg of Citalopram which I was on previously and it always did the trick. This anxiety is just different somehow.

BJ, yes, that's my main problem, I don't know it in my heart and need to accept it but that's the hardest part isn't it?

Like I say, thank you all for at least letting me rant yet again. I notice there was a thread yesterday about some people's posts triggering others anxiety so hope I'm not one of them. Like somebody else said, reading them is optional and you can avoid certain posters if you know they are going on again about the same thing. I do feel like a broken record so sorry if I do. Some poeple understand anxiety and in particular HA and others don't, I experience that all the time so don't take offence now. X

[CLKD]

Could you use Rescue Remedy too?

[Justjules]

I do! Gallons of it.

Danger mouse, sorry because I was rushing, I completely forgot to say thank you for doing the research for me, that's really kind of you. I will look at that as I am convinced it's stopping the BBs that are responsible for all this even though my dose was apparently a low one not to make much difference!

[Justjules]

Yes it does Sparkle, everybody's physiology is different.

I was very anxious this morning, clenched jaw and felt rubbish. Have had my mum staying over this weekend which was nice, but tiring. Been to several garden centres for her plants so she's happy, and lunch out. Always start to feel better this time of the day. Just feel very frustrated I can't sort myself out.

X

[Justjules]

I know! 

I'm just going to depress myself even more by making a list of what needs doing as I haven't done anything for weeks, just Groundhog Day...work, sleep and worry! x