We were open with our children as they were growing up about not being able to lavish money on them. They never asked for things, but appreciated and enjoyed what we could give them.
Both children have grown up being motivated by the quality of their lives rather than money, as long as they have enough to cover their bills.
My daughter is unlikely to be able to buy a house, though we hope to be able to help one day. I help out with bits and pieces, eg clothes for our grandson, treats for them, paying them to do house maintenance work for us.
My son has benefitted from the wealth of his in laws, but the help is sensible and measured and subtle, though generous. They have to work to pay their way. My son confided he felt embarrassed about their generosity, when his MIL paid for an airline ticket to come and see us. She said it was important he was able to see us as often as possible. I replied that he should be generous in accepting financial help as it is given with love and pleasure and that we would do the same if we could. He feels more comfortable now.
I remember my cousin's parents paying off thousands of debt, only for him to rack up more debt. Parents have the responsibility to teach their children how to manage financial issues, but more than anything if their children find themselves in financial difficulty to support them in resolving these problems, but not protecting them from the consequences.
