Thank you all so much for your incredible warmth, support, information and advice and for making me so welcome on here. What a lovely lot you are!
I am still having periods Hurdity though have skipped a few in the past six months or so which is unusual for me, although now I get it. My stomach seems to have settled a bit now on the white pill. In fact all the initial side effects seem to have settled now (Day14.) I am just feeling very premenstrual, which makes sense in my "old normal" cycle.
I am going to pop my first green pill on Saturday and hope for the best - everything crossed that I will be someone who can tolerate oral norethisterone without too much trouble (may be even none - as you say Dazned and Clovie; those who don't have any problems with it are probably less likely to post about it ) but safe in the knowledge from the real eloquent experts (i.e. you ladies) that there are other options if I don't get on with it ( such as transdermal patch or gel and Oestrogel/Utrogestan - thanks for the heads up on those Hurdity, Mary G and Linz57 - progesterone every two months only would be nice if necessary! I am also now learning to negotiate my way around the site so will check out other types of progesterone too -thanks EllaM.) Unless things get terrible I will stick with Elleste Duet. I hope this won't be the case though as I have so much to do and for the first time in what feels like forever feel able to tackle it and want to make up for so much lost time. It will be time that tells though I guess!
Btw, I looked at Professor John Studd's site EllaM and it is fascinating. Although if I wasn't beginning to feel the benefit of HRT it would make very dangerous reading for me.... I wonder has my whole life been written off to depression since age 15, when some simple hormone adjustment could have resulted in a very different adulthood? I remember the day after my very first psychiatric admission (in my 20s) for being crazy suicidal my period started? I told the ward doctor that I felt the pressure had lifted and wondered if it was related but was dismissed. This became a pattern; pretty much at the beginning of every single admission my period started. I discussed it with my Consultant but again was dismissed! I have told GPs over the years that the only time I ever seem to get any let up from feeling rock bottom is the week after my period. Because the "experts" discounted my theory every time then so did I....
And my Mum was diagnosed with bipolar disorder / manic depression soon after she had me aged 42. I mentioned to her CPN that there seemed to be a cycle to her "manic depression" that was almost like a menstrual cycle (even in her 80s) and he had in fact noticed it himself because (unlike the doctors) he saw her very regularly (every week or every other week) but again, presumably because like me she had a fat file of psychiatric notes detailing long psychiatric admissions, antidepressant and mood stabilising treatments and ECT, spanning several decades, her Consultant dismissed it.
The thing is even a long psychiatric admission will only include a couple of menstrual cycles so the pattern isn't apparent and when you are feeling crazy and in the midst of it and the professionals think they are right and they have so much power over you, you are inclined to go along with it.
To think mine, my Mum's and probably countless other women's lives could have been so very different really is heartbreaking. Could all those treatments which damaged our physical health and sometimes left us like zombies, let alone the affect it had on our loved ones, career etc etc have been avoided. Doesn't really bear thinking about.
That all said it's early days for me with HRT so maybe this will just be a temporary short lived boost but right now I am feeling so much better and my ability to cope is much improved, and I am not feeling angry (with depression on the flip side) all the time either!
Once again THANK YOU ALL for your comments and support.