It's the same old thing CLKD. Any pain that doesn't go in a nanosecond is serious, sinister or terminal. There is no logic or rational thinking - I go straight to nuclear. It is destructive and debilitating to me and Paul (OH). Obsessive reassurance seeking, continual "do you think I'm ok" questions until I'm blue in the face.
I can't think straight, and worry continuously. Funnily enough, before this current bout, I was never one to be in and out of the doctors, even whilst in the grip of it, but this has been something else. Like tonight, we ordered Chinese and I only had a main (we'd normally have ribs, and then a main each). I couldn't even eat all my main and I usually have a really healthy appetite. Of course that was cause for immediate panic "that's it, feeling fuller quicker, I've got a serious disease all through my body, or in my stomach stopping me eating". Rational thought - it's probably the anxiety, coupled with my body adjusting to the Sertraline - the doctor said that I may have some digestive problems with it. Of course rational thought isn't quite so interesting is it?
Went up the road this morning to the hairdressers and immediately wanted to be home again, curled up safe with Paul. I was talking to my hairdresser and 'fessed up what had been happening. She was warm and sympathetic and 'fessed up that she suffered with the same, and was extremely worried about her mum who is losing a lot of weight and not eating properly. She gave me a big hug when I was paying and told me to take care and that I wasn't on my own.
I am trying to get my head together, and hopefully the physical "symptoms" will abate once I feel calmer.
It's funny, but there was a trailer for Game of Thrones a couple of weeks ago. One of the characters was talking about "breaking the wheel" and that's what I feel like, I need to break this anxiety/panic wheel.