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[Phia]

Hi there,   I'm slightly embarrassed to ask this as it is about the way I look.  I know the most important thing is to be and feel healthy, but I can't help worrying about the other stuff too.  I'm 46 and have only just realised that I'm going through the menopause.  I've had all the symptoms, anxiety, depression, but just in the last few weeks I've had many hot sweats every day and hot sweats keeping me awake at night.  I have noticed just in the last month that my hair seems different and my skin doesn't seem as young, and when I look in the mirror I am surprised that I look generally older in appearance.  I am sure this is due to the lack of something - Estrogen?.  I have been prescribed Femoston 1/10mg and have taken my first one today. I am hoping that this will help and put a stop to it getting any worse.  Is this dose high enough to do that?  I am primarily taking it to protect my bones and slow down all the ageing process, but also for all my other symptoms. So shocked that this has happened so soon and wish I could turn the clock back and enjoy my young time when I had it.

[Hurdity]

Hi Phia

No need to feel embarrassed - we all care about our health first and then how we look and they are intertwined as well! How we look - or perceive ourselves to look - contributes enormously to our well-being so it's important to feel good about yourself.

I think signs of ageing brought about by the menopause are always difficult to come to terms with. I always thought I looked young for my age (62 - almost 63) and colour my hair, keep my weight down, wear clothes that don't make me look like a fuddy duddy etc - but I've noticed just these last few months the skin on my face looking a bit old lady-ish ie more droopy and especially the skin on my upper arms since last year - the underside going a bit wrinkly when it hangs a little - yuk! So what I'm saying is any change that's new for you needs adjustment - and the first ageing signs are probably the worst - especially if they happen in your 40's.

Re the HRT - it will certainly help your skin as well as the other things you mention - but there are lots of other things you can do as well re lifestyle and diet. Plenty of fresh air and exercise for a start. Keep to healthy BMI. Drink lots of water. Make sure your diet is mainly cooked from fresh ingredients rather than processed foods and sauces with plenty of fruit, veg, nuts, pulses, as well as fairly low fat and cut down sugar and carbs. Reduce alcohol (very ageing) and stop smoking if you do so (also very ageing). Use some sun screen on your face - but make sure the rest of your body gets direct sunlight from April - October. Also if you have dry skin - use a good body cream/butter, and ditto good face cream products to keep skin hydrated.

Hair - what sort of style do you have? Mine is medium length and around my face which means my face (jowls and chin/neck) isn't seen as clearly as if I had really short hair. Use products to enhance it eg volume stuff etc

Make sure you wear clothes that you are happy in and make you look good.

Have you had your thyroid checked? Underactive thyroid affects skin.

Hopefully the Femoston will help - skin as well as other symptoms. If your periods are still fairly regular then it's best to start low because of fluctuations in your cycle - but maybe increase later on. Alternatively you could think about a birth control pill like Qlaira? Maybe post on All Things Meno board for specific HRT advice etc? Once you are feeling better from a good night's sleep and fewer flushes, then you will also hopefully feel better about yourself too and think about how to make the best of yourself so that you don't have to worry about this.

Hope this helps?

Hurdity x

[Phia]

Hi Hurdity, Thank you so much for your reply.  I absolutely agree with everything you say- its good to remember.  Interestingly, I do eat very healthily and over the last couple of years have become more and more interested in nutrition, so I only eat what i have made myself- I do wonder if I would be feeling worse.  I think that feeling so much better when I eat more greens etc, no wheat/gluten, cutting out alcohol etc has made such a difference over the last couple years - I wonder if it was my body telling me that I had to do it as i didn't realise I was going through the menopause then.   Once I started eating that way I felt so much better in myself. 

I was really worried about taking HRT, putting a synthetic into my body, however I have had 2 Femoston tablets and am feeling a bit better already.  I'm hoping it will help with all my symptoms and keep me looking younger for longer.  So many of the ladies on this site are in the 50s and 60s.. which makes me feel too young to be going through this. Will I still be going through the menopause at that age or will i have come out the other side?  I am wondering if once you start to take HRT its difficult to stop when you do.  Or does there come a time when you don't need it any more?
Thank you again. xx

[Dorothy]

Hi Phia - don't be embarrassed - changes in my skin & body shape have been some of the hardest things for me to adjust to as it's all happened so quickly.  Sometimes I feel like I've got into someone else's (older) body by mistake!  If it's the symptom that's bothering you most at the moment, then it's the most important symptom.

As Hurdity says, there are lots of things you can do to a) make yourself feel better and b) reduce signs of ageing.  One of the most important for me is hydration - if I keep my water intake up, I look SO much less wrinkly & tired. 

I'm 41, started at 35, diagnosed at 39 and there are lots of other younger ladies on MM, so you're not alone.  I've found the forum really helpful as most of my friends are busy finishing off their families, so don't really understand/want to talk about menopause!  MM makes me realise I'm not the only person to go through this, there are a lot of us around.

[cheezel]

Hi Dorothy,
Im 41 too....thought id say Hi as all my friends sisters etc nowhere near menopause either. Its can be a lonely and alienating time huh?

[Dorothy]

Hi Dorothy,
Im 41 too....thought id say Hi as all my friends sisters etc nowhere near menopause either. Its can be a lonely and alienating time huh?

Hi, yes it certainly can!  I often feel like I belong to a different generation now to my friends!  And older ladies assume that I can't be at that stage yet, so if I get a hot flush, they make jokes about it, because they assume it CAN'T be a hot flush!  MM forum has been so helpful in making me feel less isolated.