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[Annidav]

Hello ladies - had such a rubbish day just, want to offload - went shopping with hubby who is so supportive and understanding but insists I try things on if I comment that they are nice - yes I know that is lovely of him but the problem is I have gained so much weight that I know things won't fit - sure enough I tried some clothes and they either didn't fit or they looked horrible, or rather I looked horrible in them - mahoosive boobs, flabby arms, thunder thighs ..... I ended up walking out of the shop and back to the car where I burst into tears and then uncontrollable sobbing; told him I absolutely hate what I have become, hate seeing myself in the mirror, hate every photograph  I see myself in and to cancel my 50th birthday party in the summer because I can't bear the thought of not feeling comfortable, having people looking at me and looking back in horror at photos; and so having got into such a sobbing mess everything else then in my opinion is terrible and I go into myself and then don't speak because I can't think of anything positive to say ... Ok am rambling now but am so fed up; at this age you really want to feel and look nice but I feel like I am looking at a stranger; hubby says it's ok it will be over and all I could say was that  this goes on for years 

[robotwars]

Hi! I just wanted to give you a hug so sorry for the way you are feeling....

[coldethyl]

Have a hug. It is awful when you feel like that. I lost a lot of weight pre realising that I was peri and for a brief time felt really good about myself till all the stupid flushes and off the scale anxiety came along. I haven't gained ( yet) but still need to shift more but it is so hard when you feel rubbish and out of control physically and mentally. Try and enjoy your 50th- all of us have been changed by life so I'm sure no one will be judging you at all - my friends are all fatter, greyer, balder and so on but they are still the people I bonded with all those  years ago and you are still you, despite the extra pounds. You could try cutting out sugar and carbs from your diet as that is what helped me lose weight without too much effort. X

[bootsmum]

I know exactly how you feel 😢. I keep trying to tell myself that once its over we will lose weight gain energy and feel like ourselves again

[Dyan]

Hi Annidav,  I know what you mean. I have put on weight in the last few wks and it's all gone round my middle. I look about 6 mths pregnant  and can't fit into my 10 or 12 jeans so everyday I'm wearing a pair of loose jogging bottoms for comfort. I'm having problems with my mirena coil at the moment and seeing the dr again today as I'm getting pains down there. Hubby put his arms round me the other day and I sort of shrugged him off because I felt so big but he said you can't help it and he's being so understanding about it all.

[Annidav]

Thanks all for your replies and hugs; feeling better today; went out early this morning and had a long brisk walk which made me feel very energised! am now sorting through wardrobe to put winter clothes away and bring out the summer clothes     and have decided to re-start the 5:2 plan from today - so far so good - it did work for me when I did it in 2014/2015 so hopefully it may help a bit although I am still taking my ADs which don't help the weight situation...    

[babyjane]

Annidav are you aware that the Bon Marche ladies clothes shop offers free personal shopper appointments.  Just one outfit, carefully chosen to accentuate your good points (and don't say you don't have any because everyone has at least one) it can work wonders for your self esteem.  Believe me 

Go and look for something for your 50th party.  I got a lovely dress for my Ruby wedding in the summer because I don't really like the look of me all that much either, I am 10 years older than you x