Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[GypsyRoseLee]

And 'this too shall pass' has become my mantra.

Earlier the anxiety was just awful. I was sitting quietly in the garden, enjoying a cuppa with DH but inside I felt like flinging my cup into the shrubs and screaming into my hands.

But I gripped my cup and concentrated on listening to the birds, and it did pass. I think it was a combination of dreading him going off to play golf this afternoon (hate being left alone at the moment) plus I hadn't eaten any breakfast.

Just 20 mins after eating lunch I felt much calmer and was able to wave DH off to his golf with a small smile. Have been on my own now for a couple of hours (well our DCs are here but are hidden in their bedrooms.....teenagers!) and I have kept busy and not felt too bad at all.

[Mary G]

GRL, sorry to be boring but I'm trying to broaden things out a bit here.  I know you saw Dr. Annie Evans privately but has your GP referred you to any other specialists, gynaecologists, doctors who specialise in anxiety etc and what input did they have?  Sorry but I can't remember who else you have consulted.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I've only seen my GP about my anxiety so far and he recommended trazadone as I can't tolerate the newer SSRIs.

[BrightLight]

This is a useful and interesting thread. You may remember about a year ago I was told I was post menopausal and had been having all sorts of symptoms prior to this and a huge increase in anxiety along with low mood that was new to me. I spent a long time trying to work out what was going on hormonally, I wanted to understand the unpredictable.

To cut a long story short I have been much better for a while now and part of that for me was focussing on the anxiety first and not the hormonal imbalance. I made much more headway with that approach.

I am sharing because you say your cycles are still regular and I sense a tipping point that I got to and also my sister with PND where things become so scary you cannot help but almost panic on a daily basis. I really do think and hope that the AD will actually get things calmer for you and almost want to say ditch all the hormone replacement for now. But, I'm not a medic, just really wanted to put it out there that mental health in its own right gets less attention than I think it should and GP's give little emphasis to it. AD's and anxiety medication pulled my sister out of crisis and things improved. For me it was putting my energy into my mental health with the help of a therapist that helped me.

My periods stopped for a bit and are back now but at the moment I'm happy to say that I don't pay as much attention to the symptoms that I thought were due to cycles as I once did. I'm sure they are related but with less attention they are not bothering me right now like they did. They might again but for now I choose to try controlling what I can and that's my mind. Easier said than done, but there are many remedies for that, which gives hope.

I do appreciate how awful it is to not feel yourself, to wonder what happened, to want things 'back'. All those feelings relate to change and mental health and hormones play a part. Its such a hard thing to accept feeling crap and scary not to have a fix.

Maybe you could find a GP to talk to a bit more about the mental health symptoms and get their take on what approach they suggest. Hormone replacement and AD's or one or other or even the hysterectomy. You deserve to have support from a professional who can help you with the bigger picture.

[donnacrichton]

I have been taking amitryptiline for the last few years not sure how much it has helped. I have been offered ovary removal if I settle with buserelin with ovaries shut down.  It has been years of hell I seem to have been having estrogen surges which are more difficult to deal with. If this doesn't work next step is to stop all hormone treatment which terrifies me😕

[Lizab]

I cried a few different times reading this thread. I so much relate to lots of this.

Sooby, those are helpful tips. I've just got to the point of trying to handle the anxiety and trust that the hormones will balance themselves.

I've been reading a lot about how the mind can get stuck in a pattern of anxiety and can be retrained to break that pattern.  I believe some of that is what's happening with me. The strange thing is that in my life there were loads of stressors for a few years that I was well aware of and dealing with fine, then we had few big changes all at once that significantly reduced my stress. It was a month after these big wonderful changes that my "breakdown" occurred. And all of this coincided with my periods stopping. I know my hormones are a part of it, but I'm starting to think my mind simply became overloaded with the need to be stressed and not as much to stress about. Most of my anxiety and depression seems to be overreaction. I had a ridiculously small disagreement with my husband and felt so anxious for hours after, we later laughed at how being mad used to be my favorite state of mind and now I can't handle it. Right now I'm in a calm and rational state and can think these things through, but when the flood of whatever it is comes over me, I am absolutely sure it's hormonal and good luck convincing me otherwise!

GRL, I'm certainly not claiming to have the answers for you, but could there have been other things in your life that put you to this state? I'm only now recognizing this for me, and I hope I can come to grips because like so many have posted, I'm practically agoraphobic now. I don't really like to call it that because I do love to get out, when my mind is right. But I'm particular about where I care to go. I'm all right with people's homes, parties, doctor's offices and popping into small shops like the pharmacy, but my home is half an hour drive from anything, so I'm relying on my husband or friends to drive me, and frankly that's depressing to me. I can't wait to feel confident to go about by myself again, because as much as I love company, I also love to be alone and miss going out alone.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh Lisa that is so interesting. Like you, I had been under huge stresses and strains for a few years. They suddenly got much worse 2.5 years ago and around that time my periods became very light.

Fast forward to February this year and suddenly these awful stresses were finally removed from my life. And within a couple of weeks of our lives suddenly looking 100 times rosier, I feel like I too had a breakdown. Anxiety to the point of mild agrophobia. Only sleeping 3 hours a night etc. Panic etc.

This can't be a coincidence???

[coldethyl]

Having a breakdown after stressors removed is actually quite a common thing. It is as if we can keep going under stress but once we have time to pause and think what might have happened or just have daily stuff to cope with we fall apart. Some of that I am sure is because our bodies are still pumping out all the stress hormones that got us through the difficult times but we don't need them so are left fizzing with agitation. I had a very difficult time with my son for three years and then was diagnosed with diabetes ( I don't think that was a coincidence either) and managed but once he was fine and I was in control again of my body and moods , it all fell apart , just as my ovaries were giving up as well. I do think the advice to try and approach this via dealing with your emotional issues is a good one. All these things, anxiety, depression, menopausal swings are multi factorial to my mind and it helps to look at all angles. That way you  aren't so despondent when one avenue isn't as successful as you had hoped, and you feel that you are doing something to help yourself, which I find helps rid me of some of the feelings of hopelessness and being on a rollercoaster with no off switch. X

[dogdoc]

GRL. You sound very much like you're in the same place I was in 2014/early 2015...years of HELL.  I know for me I tried all kinds of hormonal solutions which sometimes made me feel better and sometimes made me feel incredibly incredibly worse.  I still have periods as well. The problem is in perimenopause its the spikes and crashes of the hormones that are causing all our issues, not necessarily the absolute low levels of the hormones. Taking additional estrogen when you have regular periods may not help as at some points you're going to have too much estrogen unless you take a whopping dose to try to shut down your own hormones altogether.  That will produce it's own problems as well.   Judging by the number of women I see still having symptoms while on birth control this does not appear to be effective strategy for those of us who are obviously extremely sensitive to hormonal fluctuations.

After about 3 years of total and absolute hell ( both mental, and physical) the only thing that has worked for me was Maca and time I'm guessing. As I get farther along, my periods are becoming lighter ( finally) and often further apart. This tells me my estrogen highs are less high, and the drops less severe.  I also took an SSRI but i'm not convinced it did anything and am currently weaning myself off it.

I will still go on HRT when my hormones remain low, but consistently low estrogen doesn't happen until about 6 months to a year before actual menopause which i suspect is still years away for me. In the meantime it's the spikes and crashes. I too was offered GnRH ( the shot to put you into full menopause) but I was too panic stricken to do it. Now I'm glad I didn't.

I'd like to suggest Maca to you as something to consider as it really did take me from borderline suicidal to almost normal pretty rapidly ( month or two?) . It seems to be safe at least in the short term and what do you have to lose? Ask Annie but I'm guessing she won't mind. There is some science behind Maca and mood....couldnt' hurt?

http://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/Abstract/2008/15060/Beneficial_effects_of_Lepidium_meyenii_Maca_on.24.aspx

[Sooby]

Gypsy when I was typing my tips to you my chest was feeling like it might burst as I was anxious about some life admin that I was trying to sort out so I know exactly where you are coming from with this. After I had finished typing I remembered that I hadnt eaten and I have found that food / low blood sugar plays a huge part in the anxiety / fight or flight response. Again, like you I have noticed that my OH being around can have a calming effect too.

One of the things that I have noticed from reading other ladies posts is what incredibly demanding lives so may of us lead. It seems that until the meno years, our estrogen allows us to deal with so many potentially stressful and emotionally demanding stuff without getting stressed. As a result we seem to keep ploughing forward and piling it on. Once our drop in hormones results in a drop in resilience however we suddenly feel the real effects of all that pressure and responsibility.

I find that getting to the bottom of what is creating the anxiety is very helpful. Even though my massive over reaction may seem out of perspective, it does originate from something real and genuine. So working out what that is can be a great help in removing the triggers. Eating regularly especially, slow release energy foods at night can also help to eliminate those horrendous, out of control night panics. Quaker make a cup of porridge sachet that you just add water to. How about trying one before bed?

Another useful tool is a note book and pen. Writing down what is bothering you and why that is, can really help to control the scary thoughts and bring things back into perspective. So if you are getting in a pickle about DH playing golf and leaving you home alone. jot down why that is bothering you. What might happen when he is away? Why is that scary? What could you do to improve it?Invite a friend round? Bake a cake? Pop to the garden centre? Book yourself in for a beauty treatment? Distraction seems to work well too. After all you cant worry about something if you're not thinking about it.

I know just how incredibly hard it is to put these things into practice when you feel so off the chart with anxiety but the more that you can recognise it as a false state the more you can deal with it objectively and shorten the duration as well reducing the frequency.

 

[daisie]

hi GRL with my experience i would say no dont go through a hysterectomy unless you have a physical reason for it ..iv been suffering all the symptoms you mentioned ..i had a hysterectomy back in october for 1st grade cancer of the endometrium everything was took away ovaries the lot  i can say i still have depression and anxiety ..but the operation was a life saver for me its not altered the mental symptoms i suffer  we are all different ..but im going on my own experience ..think i am more depressed than before the op to be quite honest, then there is the recovery after, unless theres a physical reason for it i say no x daisie

[GypsyRoseLee]

Can I ask if you're taking any oestrogen since your hysterectomy Daisie?

[daisie]

no.. the reason im not is because when i went back for my check up with the surgeon i did ask but he said there could be a chance of it coming back again with estrogen meaning breast cancer..my sister died with it at the age of 35 so im just soldgering on at the moment with the amitriptyline iv been on for 7 years but he said that if life gets extremely hard for me to cope with the depression to ask the doctor for a small dose x daisie

[Dancinggirl]

Sooby - this post was so, so good - full of really insightful thoughts and advice - I do hope all those ladies who suffer badly with anxiety read it.  Perhaps copy and paste this into the PERSONAL EXPERIENCE threads so more women see it. DG xxx

Gypsy when I was typing my tips to you my chest was feeling like it might burst as I was anxious about some life admin that I was trying to sort out so I know exactly where you are coming from with this. After I had finished typing I remembered that I hadnt eaten and I have found that food / low blood sugar plays a huge part in the anxiety / fight or flight response. Again, like you I have noticed that my OH being around can have a calming effect too.

One of the things that I have noticed from reading other ladies posts is what incredibly demanding lives so may of us lead. It seems that until the meno years, our estrogen allows us to deal with so many potentially stressful and emotionally demanding stuff without getting stressed. As a result we seem to keep ploughing forward and piling it on. Once our drop in hormones results in a drop in resilience however we suddenly feel the real effects of all that pressure and responsibility.

I find that getting to the bottom of what is creating the anxiety is very helpful. Even though my massive over reaction may seem out of perspective, it does originate from something real and genuine. So working out what that is can be a great help in removing the triggers. Eating regularly especially, slow release energy foods at night can also help to eliminate those horrendous, out of control night panics. Quaker make a cup of porridge sachet that you just add water to. How about trying one before bed?

Another useful tool is a note book and pen. Writing down what is bothering you and why that is, can really help to control the scary thoughts and bring things back into perspective. So if you are getting in a pickle about DH playing golf and leaving you home alone. jot down why that is bothering you. What might happen when he is away? Why is that scary? What could you do to improve it?Invite a friend round? Bake a cake? Pop to the garden centre? Book yourself in for a beauty treatment? Distraction seems to work well too. After all you cant worry about something if you're not thinking about it.

I know just how incredibly hard it is to put these things into practice when you feel so off the chart with anxiety but the more that you can recognise it as a false state the more you can deal with it objectively and shorten the duration as well reducing the frequency.

 

[Sooby]

Thank you dancing girl,

   I suppose my NLP and Hypnotherapy background makes my analyse my thought processes and se my mental state as set apart from my emotional or physical states although I accept that they are linked and all effected by my hormonal state.

  I'm so pleased that you found it helpful. I find all your shared experiences, knowledge and support an inspiration. xx