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[coldethyl]

I'm finding myself glowering at women my age who look great and happy and appear to be sailing through all this with no problem. Resentment isn't an attractive emotion but some days it helps!

[babyjane]

there is no way of knowing what is going on in their lives, what is happening behind the great and happy facade.  Some women are good at covering up their personal troubles.
Then again they could be using HRT successfully.

[coldethyl]

I know. You can never know what others are experiencing but some look so carefree that I can't believe their lives feel anything like mine. A close friend from uni who is going through it also has had a couple of night glows and put on a pound. She looks like I have two heads when I say I feel like I've had my soul sucked out. X

[Lizab]

Nightowl- what you say about the body going into some sort of shock is so true! It is a complete shock on the body and mind. When this hit me, practically overnight, I remember saying how weird I felt. My friend encouraged me to visit the doctor, and I asked "And tell him what? That I feel wierd?" A few weeks later when I did finally drag myself in, that's roughly what I told him, that I felt weird and was losing my mind.

Coldethyl- I'm not sure of your age, but I'm assuming your at a normal menopausal age. I have been stuck in a self-pity cycle because I'm only 39 and no one understands what I'm going through. I don't work, and the teachers and other mothers at my older child's school think I'm a deadbeat because I don't volunteer for anything. I have been very active every year until this one. No one has said anything negative to me, but I can feel the vibe. In a bizarre way it makes me feel better to know that I would have felt this alienation whether it hit me in my 30s, 40s, or 50s. And yes, I look at other women with a little resentment sometimes too, especially women in their 20s, then I feel smug laughing inside that they have no idea what their future holds I know it's mean but whatever, it helps me through!

[coldethyl]

Lizab , I'm 50 and this has been going on for 4 yrs at least. I can't believe that other women I see are having issues as I just can't put a brave face on and know I look like I'm 150 most days.
I can relate so much to the feeling weird - I just don't feel like me anymore and have so manny odd symptoms that sometimes I feel I've developed a hitherto unknown syndrome- aches, anxiety, gynae issues, tingling, migraines and so on. Some days it's hard to know what symptom to pay attention to. I sometimes beat myself up and tell myself that it's just me that can't cope and that I'm a hypochondriac but really, I'd defy anyone to feel upbeat and in control with what a lot of us are going through.

[Lizab]

Well, Coldethyl, as I've finally got my head above water most days, I'm starting to be able to pick apart what to ignore and what's really bothersome. As for the mental parts, at this point what's bothering most is that I can't multitask at all. I'm usually fine if I can get myself into a task undisturbed. I can't sit at a table where multiple conversations are going on. I can't handle two people talking to me at once. I can't carry on a conversation while I'm cooking dinner. My brain just can't do it anymore. I can't shop with my children. Gosh, I can't even drive with my kids because it's too distracting. And when I have to deal with these situations, my anxiety goes through the roof. I read an e-book from Amazon, I can't recall the name of it (of course) that attributed the multitasking thing to estrogen. I'm trying to decide if I should ask for more estrogen, or if it gets better with time. If it should improve, I'd rather not bump my estrogen as eventually I'll have to decrease it again.
Most of the physical things I'm ignoring now. They're annoying, but it's natural for me to ignore nagging aches and pains. I'm stupidly stubborn with pain, often to the amazement of my doctors and when I should have sought help (shingles, a snake bite, and a burst ovarian cyst come to mind). I also think other women are going through it but it's too big for words. I have one friend that has had our problems, and we rarely get into discussing it beyond saying it's awful. She "goes down in her back" quite often, and for years I really thought she had major back issues, but she would be absolutely fine other times. Now that I've caught up with (and maybe surpassed) her, I know that being in bed down in her back for days probably had nothing to do with her back. And in hindsight, I remember my grandmother, my mother, and an aunt being "down in her back" all the time, that or migraines. I guess we should pick a more socially acceptable ailment than menopause to blame!

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

When I saw this question my first thought was to answer 'too long!'. I'm sure many of you would agree.

Coldethyl - I totally understand your sensation of having your soul sucked out and I've also been on the receiving end of puzzled looks. One thing I would add is that I have days or more accurately parts of days when I'm sure I seem normal and in control but then feel dreadful later, usually in private.  I'm also envious of other women who I believe are doing better than me.

I think all we can hope is that this journey ends happily and as soon as possible!

Wishing you all well.

K.