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[Roadrunner]

Hello Everyone

I'm hoping for a bit of support and advice. This is such a fantastic resource, I do hope someone out there can share their experience/thoughts and help me.

I'm 48 and feel like I've fallen off a cliff (hence Roadrunner!)

I haven't felt “well” since November 2015: very tired, head-achey, limbs aching, dizziness and some tinnitus. Over Christmas I thought I was coming down with something. Just exhausted by the evening and wanting to go to bed. Then some odd “moments” when I felt very spaced out and my heart started to race.  In the morning I was waking like a meerkat with shock feelings going up and down my arms. At work I was struggling to concentrate and keep up with the pace. In the evenings I had waves of being very very hot, and night times of clothes changes because I was wet with sweat. I treated myself for what I thought was cystitis, then thrush, then UTI ... then also realised I hadn't had a period since November 2015 ...

I then had a bit of a panic I think. I felt very very anxious: proper washing machine stomach, was it menopause (surely not) or did I have something very wrong with me – a thyroid problem or ovarian cancer. Did a bit of catastrophising and then I went to the GP in January who did a full set of blood tests including thyroid, celiac and hormones. Good news is that all was well except the hormones. Bad news is the hormones showed Menopause (not even peri ... although the GP said don't read too much in to it, and you will have another period). The GP directed me here to MM and I had a read and a think for a couple of weeks then decided to try HRT.

I started Elleste Duet 1mg, and I'm now on day 15 of the second packet. I was feeling a bit up and down for the first month/packet, but I expected that as I know (thanks to MM) you need to give these things time. I think I felt slightly better on the progesterone part – more energy and more my old self. When I came to the end of the first packet and stopped the progesterone tablets I had a really bad night of “meerkat” waking and an over busy brain.  I had a bleed on day 2 of the second packet of tablets – nasty cramping for half a day, but neurofen and paracetamol was enough to manage it, and I had a bleed of 4 days in total, so all very happy with that. The vaginal dryness is also better too. I'm only using Replens once a week. The problem I have now is that since Monday this week the crashing tiredness seems to have come back. I'm also still having some very hot nights with poor quality sleep and I'm generally very achey – muscles and joints, although paracetamol helps, and I still have a spinning head on and off. I'm disappointed because I have had some really good days last week and I was hoping that I was on the way up and back to feeling well again. I'm scared this is as good as it's going to get. Life feels such a struggle at the moment, I want to do things but I have no energy. It feels like I'm permanently “coming down with something” if you know what I mean. It's rubbish.

Life is busy, I work part time in a stressful job and I have two 10 year olds, one who has special needs so I do need to be able to be there for them and my lovely husband. I'm usually fit and well and I hate feeling like this.

Do I keep plodding on and see if with more time things settle, (I keep reading the side effects bit in the leaflet thinking maybe this will pass), or do I go back to my GP now? I'm so fed up of not feeling well.  And a bit impatient probably.

Thanks so much for any advice you can offer.
RR xx

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM Roadrunner
Your meno story is quite common - menopause can sometimes just hit us all of sudden, while others will go through the peri stage for many years. 48 is actually quite normal to find peri meno symptoms start to emerge but for you it seems to have come more suddenly. Your problems are around the fact you are problaby still peri meno so your own hormones will be fluctuating and gradually falling in the background, so giving you good and bad days along the way. It's great you have a GP who is more 'on the ball'.
As you are only 2 months into HRT it is still early days so symptoms won't have settled - 3-6 months is the usual time span before you can truly see how things are going.
HRT is not a cure all.  At this time in our lives we really need to look at lifestyle issues, A healthy diet with some good regular exercise (e.g brisk walks) is essential and actually a few supplements e.g Vitamin D3 and Omega 3 oils might help your aching joints and fatigue. Eating small amounts often can really help with those low mood/low energy times.
You have already told us that there is a good deal of stress going on in your life.  My premature meno hit me in my mid 30s and my 4 year had just been diagnosed with Special Needs at that time, so I really understand how you feel.
My best advice would be to continue with your current HRT and if in 3 months your flushes etc are not better then ask for a higher dose.  An alternative HRT combo you might want to consider would be to have a Mirena fitted for the progesterone part and use separate oestrogen as gel or patch. This combo will eventually stop all bleeding which might be good for you. The oestrogen gel (called Oestrogel) is great as you can adjust the amount of oestrogen you use till you feel your symptoms are under control.
The other big piece of advice I would suggest is "be kind to yourself" - having special needs kids is all consuming and you do need to have time to relax. Hopefully you have a good partner that you can discuss this with - try to work out strategies that help you both.  On the suggestion of my GP 2 years ago I read a wonderful book on MINDFULNESS, which is a form of CBT and with practise I have found it so, so helpful.
We're here to support you.  Keep posting  DG xxxx

[Roadrunner]

Thank you so much for your reply. Glad to know I'm not alone in this xx

[CLKD]

You are no longer alone 

Give the medication time to work? also take into account that any hormones you may have floating around will break through the treatment sometimes.

Rather than using Replens have you talked to your GP about vaginal atrophy, which can mimic symptoms of urine infections.  There are a couple of good treatments, Vagifem or Ovestin1mg which I use - placed vaginally for 2 weeks then every 3 and 4th day after keeps symptoms at bay for me. It was like having razor blades up there  .  Fortunately my GP recognised my symptoms.

How special needs is your 10 year old, don't need to share unless you feel you need to but how 'able' is he/she?  Small tasks that they can both share around house i.e. tidying the bedroom.  Tell their father that you have reached "the Change" and will therefore, be different, have more need for 'me' time and ask how he would like to help.  My DH took over the hoovery-thingy and floor map when he retired because he prefers that to the laundry room - means I don't have to nag ;-).

Keep posting!  Some ladies find keeping a food/mood diary helpful too.

[Roadrunner]

Ha! I love the idea of "floaty hormones". I was wondering myself whether that might be an issue, as I didn't start the HRT on day 1 of my period. My cycle (before the cliff fall) was every 27 to 28 days, so I'm wondering whether the few waifs and strays that are around might fall in to line ... could that happen? I had some spotting yesterday ...

My 10 yo has cerebral palsy and isn't very mobile, but he can do bits and pieces (and can now get himself undressed and top half dressed!). He'll tidy if I ask. He is at mainstream school and a source of constant joy and anxiety! Other 10 yo typically developing and helps out. Husband is very good and not scared of housework and cooking. I'm very lucky, we share the chores as we both work.

It's the tiredness and the achey limbs ... had a little lie down today so feel a bit better. I'm fed up with feeling so under par. I will try a food diary and regular small meals, and persevere ...

Thank you

RRxx

[CLKD]

You are very welcome.  Our neighbour's son has cerebral palsy and is now in College, can't believe where the time has gone!  He had a special 3-wheeler bike to help with balance issues when the kids all had 2-wheelers, he would whizz round corners with the best of 'em!

Explain that you will be more tired for a while and will need more help.  It's not knowing what might be wrong that upsets children, so saying how it is will help all round.  I remember my Mum having crashing fatigue, she would sit down suddenly and fall straight asleep!  This too will pass ;-).

[Mandz]

Just wanted to welcome you roadrunner, the ladies on the forum are just amazing and give so much sound advice and support

I read my thread then reread it quite often....

It's wonderful to know your not alone, and when you read some threads they never cease to amaze me

Much hugs m xx

[Roadrunner]

Thank you everyone.

Does anyone know what causes the fatigue and muscle pain? The only thing I can liken it to is when you come down with flu. I felt so much better last week and now I feel I'm back to .. well not quite square one, I'm less meerkat cat-ish, but not far off. Are my own flakey hormones protesting?!

[Dancinggirl]

The fatigue is very like recovering from flu.  Having the odd 'little rest' is a good way forward - as I said "be kind to yourself".  I suspect after 3-4 months you will start to feel more on top of things - HRt down help with joint aches.  Do try sue Viatmin d3 though as we are often deficient at the end of winter and it really helps to reduce fatigue and aching joints!!!
DG x

[Kathleen]

Hello Roadrunner.

I can't improve on the advice you've been given but I wanted to welcome you to the forum. My menopause hit me like a train and I can relate to your suffering but you are not alone. The ladies are right in saying that HRT takes time to work so patience is needed unfortunately but you will feel better.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

[Roadrunner]

Thank you I will. I do take a "Well Woman" supplement every day, but I'll check and see if it has the vitamins and supplements you all recommend.
And I'm going to give the pills a bit longer.
And be kind to myself, and leave work on time ...
And tell myself out won't be like this for ever.
Onward!
This is such a fabulous resource. Thank you for your wisdom everyone. My mum's meno was nothing like this so she's worried about me, and my friends are either non meno or have coils or hysterectomies, so I feel a bit isolated. Well I did ...

[Mary G]

Roadrunner, sorry to tag onto this thread so late but I have only just read your post.  I have just looked up your medication and I think the oestrogen dose is too low and that is why you are still having symptoms.  I would guess that perhaps you only feel good when some of your own (albeit limited) oestrogen breaks through. 

Sorry to be a party pooper but I don't think 1mg is nearly enough oestrogen to combat your symptoms.  By all means give it a try for another month but I wouldn't hang around and if you don't see a marked improvement, either go up to the 2mg dose or change to another regime.

Personally, I don't rate oral HRT at all, it didn't work for me and was barely worth taking - I was also on 1mg of oestrogen and it was useless.  I have since changed to bio identical Oestrogel (2 pumps every day) and Utrogestan, a bio identical progesterone which I take vaginally and 1 tiny bead of testosterone and I now feel completely back to normal.  This is the best HRT regime I have had by a very, very long way and I can't recommend it enough.  Basically, if you are still having symptoms, you need more oestrogen. 

I had a very similar menopause experience to you i.e. i went through it a 100mph.  I didn't have the peri stage for long but went straight from late reproductive phase into post menopause.  I didn't have hot flushes or night sweats but I did have a dodgy thermostat and dreadful vaginal irritation which can only be cured by high(ish) doses of oestrogen in my case. 

I do hope this helps to shed some light on things for you.  It takes a while to get the right type of HRT and the right dose but once you do, you will feel normal again, honestly!

[Roadrunner]

Thank you Mary G, that's very helpful and makes sense.
How did you manage to find the regime that worked for you? Was it trial and error our does knowing your blood hormone levels help? Have you been to Meno clinic or just your GP? Sorry for all the questions but I think I have HRT envy! 
I have felt so rubbish for the last three months. It's difficult to know whether to be more patient or start to change things. Feel a bit lost, and a bit sad. 

[Mandz]

Awww rr, I really feel for you, I was on hrt tablets, but thanks to info from forum I asked my doc for the gel, and she gave it to me and I think it's helped as because of my ibs I think the tablets prob weren't going into my system

Xx

[CLKD]

Hormones alter so often in any 24/7 that blood tests are reliably unreliable!