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[Lizab]

I'm sorry I'm going to rant a little.
Five months ago, I turned from perfectly healthy and sane, to a weepy, irritable, anxious mess, unable to function in daily life. We tried adjusting my thyroid meds, even though my levels were fine. My gp is fantastic and puts more weight on symptoms than blood test results. Tinkering with the thyroid proved wrong. I became extremely hypothyroid and wasted months bringing that back into balance. Strange thing though, I felt better in many ways in a hypothyroid state. So now I've added in estrogen and progesterone, and it's still very early, but I want results now. I'm not shopping or cooking. I'm barely cleaning. I'm relying on my husband and friends to do everything for me because I'm either too fatigued, too dizzy, or too anxious to do anything. I don't believe it's exactly agoraphobia that I'm dealing with, as I want to get out so badly it's killing me. It's that in the state I'm in, I never know what symptom is going to hit me and when. I can't risk being out with my toddler and have a spell. I do have good moments. But there's the other problem: I'm so damned  optimistic that when I have a good evening, I think I'm finally in balance and done with all this. Then if I'm having a time of it the next morning, I get fed up and my confidence plummets.
I know it takes time. This whole stupid thing is a transition. Although I mentally went to shit overnight, I had the wacky periods for years. Logically, I know it's fine, normal, whatever, but I'm so tired of being dependant on everyone because I can't pull it together. I want instant relief. I want me back. I'm blubbering on about this now because I had a great day yesterday after my first night of the progesterone regimen. I thought I finally found the key! But last night's side effects were awful. I didn't sleep well, and sleep deprivation makes me crazy. I'm trying to give it time, not like I have any other choice, but I'm struggling.

[CLKD]

   enjoy your time with the toddler, there's lots to do indoors.  How old is the toddler?  Card games?  Hide and seek …. that is the Dad hides small toys around the lounge/kitchen and leaves a list for you, a tick each time the little 'un finds something?  Drawing, painting - something that you can supervise without too much effort? 

I found that I have to limit my energy levels and not do too much in any one day.  Otherwise I'm exhausted the next day! 

Do you feel guilty about your husband/friends 'doing' for U?

[Lizab]

Guilty? Yes. But I know they don't mind. I am lucky to have incredible support from friends. Since I've hit it early, we joke that I'm going to get them through this when their time comes. And I feel guilty at times that I'm limiting my kids' social lives.
But mostly I'm bored! I want my life back! Everyone is managing the day-to-day activities fairly well. But I want to participate. I delegate and spectate while life goes on. It sucks.

[CLKD]

Sure does!  Is it possible to take something for the anxiety on an 'as necessary' basis?

[Lizab]

I don't have anything for anxiety. I will have to ask for that soon if the hrt doesn't kick in. I was reviewing my list of symptoms that I took to my initial gp visit, and I still have all the symptoms. So, do I give more time? My estradiol patch is only .375, began Dec 26. Do I ask for an increase already?

[Dorothy]

Wish there was a magic button I could press to solve this for you (I'd press it for myself first though!)

Don't do too much in one day.  Be gentle with yourself.  Maybe check your diet?  I need to eat little and often now - can't go long without food or I feel awful.  Also, I've had to adjust what I eat.  Maybe keep a note of when you feel good/bad and what you have been doing/eating to see if you can find any links.  Caffeine & sugar are big 'NO's for me.  Herbal teas help.  As does drinking lots of water.

I found getting some sun and fresh air every day helps too - I have a dog, so not much choice about going out but even if it's just round the garden or down the road.  Sometimes, I wrap up in layers and just sit outside for a bit!

It's a tough time, and I think it's harder when you are surrounded by other people your own age who aren't having to cope with it.  Though I sometimes find it harder when I'm with older ladies who assume I'm not 'there' yet...ended up in tears yesterday after someone 25 years older than me was talking about the 'active part of life being over' once you're menopausal and that's why you get the menopause.  Which is really stupid & I know she'd be gutted if she knew she'd upset me, but hey, try telling my hormones that! 

I try to take each day as it comes, so I enjoy a good day as a gift and when a bad day comes, I tell myself that maybe tomorrow will be better.  No, it doesn't always work (see yesterday for proof!), but it does sometimes! 

[Spangles]

Hi Lizab

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time.
Is switched my HRT around for about 2 years before I got settled. Well not entirely settled but better than I was.
The anxiety is massive for me and the sleep deprivation can be bad too.
I'm also on Ad's as well as my HRT, I use evorell 50 patch for oestrogen and utrogestan 200, maybe your dose isn't right?
Unfortunately it takes quite a while for some of us to get sorted, I hope it is soon for you.
Don't be afraid to swap and change your HRT, (with doctors advice), in my experience it may be what you need.
Shellb
xXx

[dahliagirl]

Maybe it is best to assume that you are not going to 'pull yourself together' for a few months/couple of years and arrange things accordingly.  eg, get a cleaner, do your shopping online, modify your menu to more simple cooking.  Then use the energy you have to modify your diet, go out for nice reasons eg walk with your toddler (or slug hunt in the garden  ,

[CLKD]

Plenty of slugs here if you want to wander round 

It can take 3-5 months before HRT begins to show results.  If you are recently starting then the symptoms remain and then the body gets a hit of hormones ………

You could speak with the Practice Nurse or a Pharmacist - explain what you are taking and for how long and check when it would be expected to hike the dosage if symptoms remain ………. I usually go in with 'I didn't take everything in that I was told last time, could you remind me about ……….. ' 

Let us know how you get on!

[warwick01]

Hi

Can relate to you and your suffering.
.
My personality changed overnight aged 50 (56 now) all started with dizziness feeling off balance Doctors told me it was due to Labrynthitis......grrr every month a couple of days before my period and during my period I would feel so off balance Icould not function. I had head zaps anxiety mood swings. My life as been a nightmare.

I did settle on HRT up until last year 2015 was a horrid year, lost my job in TV would not go out due to a fainting phobia. My friends don't come round as they only want to be around the old me who was the bubbly party organiser.

My advice would be do your research, listen to your body and request what you need. By the way I too take 125 thyroxine.

Good luck

Wx 

[CLKD]

<wave< Warwick 

[warwick01]

Awww - thanks CLKD you, Hudity and the other ladies on this site got me through 2015. I remember wanting to give up as I thought, know one could feel as bad as I did.

I brushed myself down and decided its another year so I will make some changes and hopefully nothing can be as bad as last year!

My motto is risk nothing and get nothing....... so here goes!

Wx

[CLKD]

   it's relentless at times  - when I feel well I appreciate every moment 

[Lizab]

Well, girls, I wandered out today for the first time in weeks! I had one hot flash/anxiety spell (I'm really not sure. Perhaps both? Chicken or egg?) that lasted only a few moments, but after remained jittery until we returned home. I'm still not ready to take on the world alone with kids in tow, but it was nice to get out and take care of a little business.

[CLKD]