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[Dulciana]

Thanks Dorothy - yes, you're probably right.  I tend to over-think things and imagine people are getting the wrong impression of me.  What starts me off on this is when people don't answer emails.  It shakes me up!  I start thinking I've offended them in some way, when all I've done is try to "put things right".   Hubby keeps telling me they probably saw no need to answer.  Wish I could get that into my head.............meanwhile, I sit and cringe.   

[Ju Ju]

Dorothy, what you have shown is how much it counts to show you care when people are troubled. It's not what you say, but the fact you show you care. Often bereaved people report that are they are avoided, often because people are afraid of saying the wrong thing, when all they needed to say was that they had no words, but how sorry they were. It can be very lonely when going through difficult times. You helped this person feel less alone.

Dulciana, just remember other people are too busy in their own heads to be worried about what you may have said and if on the off chance offence was taken it is a reactivation on to their own stuff, not you. After all why would anyone, unless they are in a very bad place, take offence to someone so kind? And don't read into people not replying to emails. Sometimes emails go astray or people are busy with no time to reply immediately and then forget! ( I'm thinking of my lovely DIL, who is hyperactive! She rarely replies to anything! I could take offence, but I know that is the way she is. It's not personal. When I do see her, our relationship is very comfortable and loving.)

[Dorothy]

Often bereaved people report that are they are avoided, often because people are afraid of saying the wrong thing, when all they needed to say was that they had no words, but how sorry they were.

You are so right - when my Dad died, I felt like I had developed the plague - people would even cross the street not to speak to me.  I so appreciated the ones that did speak, even if they blundered a bit, as it meant they cared enough to overcome their embarrassment or nerves. 

[CLKD]

The Jewish have a saying "I'm sorry for your Trouble" which gives people the opportunity to talk or not.  It's a gentle opener.

I like people watching.  In the days when I had to go to big does I did a bit of research about the company as well as having a list of possible hobbies to throw in their direction ………. it was frustrating when people were mono-sylabbic  ……….

[Ju Ju]

Spoilsports!   

Reminds me about the first day on a course, when we were told to turn to the person next to us and find out as much as we could about them. The lady next to me refused to tell me anything, muttering what a load of rubbish it was. I felt very uncomfortable, embarrassed and annoyed that I had to relay this back to the group. I was lacking in confidence as it was. I avoided this lady from then on and was disconcerted when she became my supervisor several years later. However, I rather enjoy her stroppyness now and she has become a good friend.