Yes I can absolutely relate to this, I have been wondering why now at the grand age of 54 that I have been thinking so much about my mother and the way she brought me up & resenting alot of the things she did or didn't do. Since menopause I have been speaking to my poor husband quite alot about this actually. I have a loving mother but I was an only child and my father died when I was 16 which was around the time my mother was going through menopause, this made her very controlling and possessive with me. She had always been a very anxious mother prior to my dad dying but she became far worse after his death. My husband and I were just talking about the time we announced our first pregnancy to her & instead of wishing us congratulations and being happy for us she answered us with "Oh I need to sit down, I need a brandy" !!! And she was the same with my future pregnancies after that, not once did she ever congratulate me and I feel very sad about this. She always looked on the negative side and would constantly remind me of what a worry it was for her when I was pregnant
She too was the type of mother that was fearful of everything telling me to be careful, don't go near the edge, don't run, don't climb etc etc . She is 88 now and still worries when we go abroad on holiday talking to us like children before we leave. When i was in my very late teens/early 20's I desperately wanted to work abroad but she terrified me by saying things like "Oh there's too many queer folk out there especially if they see a young girl on her own" or "If anything goes wrong I don't have the money to bring you back" it all worried me sick so I never plucked up the courage to go and it's now one of my biggest regrets in my life. Luckily we have a son who has travelled and works abroad and i was very careful never to show any negativities, quite the opposite actually, I was all for him going..I guess I was living my life through him but telling my mother was another thing.....she constantly worries about him & asks if he's ok. She is most definitely an anxious person, she worries about everything and is terrified of just about everything (I hate balloons cos my mother instilled in me about the scar my Grandad had on his eye where a balloon had popped!). I myself have noticed how my anxiety has got worse over the last few years as I went through peri and entered menopause, I have always been a worrier but it has got so much worse over these last few years, ridiculous that at bedtime I cannot settle to sleep for over thinking and worrying about the days events...I mull over everything that has happened and what has been said that day & it is so much worse if I have been out with people that day, i worry so much about everything we have talked about & was beginning to think how much easier it would be to just not go out or talk to anyone.
My mother is most definitely possesive with me still to this day, she likes to know where I am, what I've been doing, who I've been out with and I've noticed she is also very jealous of my relationship with my Daughter in law. Growing up I feel I never had that independance or chance to grow or spread my wings and I do feel sadly that it has impacted on the rest of my life
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Topic: Interesting read on Anxiety/Meno etc (Read 3790 times)