I've gone the phyto-estrogen/diet route. Cost me a fortune, and for me it didn't work at all. In fact it made things worse.
Definitely a healthy diet is a good thing - for everyone, but does it in itself do anything to really help with severe meno symptoms? Doubt it, and "for me" definitely not.
There may be some evidence that phyto-estrogens and other types of specific foods may help when the symptoms aren't very severe, or maybe in peri-meno, but when you've got full blown severe meno symptoms IMO you need the big guns.
All just my experiences and opinions of course.