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[Dorothy]

Interesting point Teresa.  I'm single, childless with no siblings and I've noticed my friends with families are much more accepting of the whole process. 

[Limpy]

So I actually get quite offended by the people (some on this very thread) who claim menopause isn't "life threatening". These claims are so obviously made by women who never had any severe meno problems, because maybe in itself menopause isn't life threatening, or in the same realm as cancer or diabetes etc, but the side effects sure are life threatening. So unless you’ve actually been there, it’s really not fair to judge.

Dana - you say you get quite offended when people claim menoopause isn't life threatening. However, you yourself said, "in itself menopause is not life threatening". Why get offended when other people make the same point?  I must confess that I feel strongly that meno in itself isn't life threatening but  do accept that the side effects may aggravate underlying issues.

It's like you only want comments from people who either: 1) Had bad issues with meno  Or  2) Agree with you! 


I think the vast majority of the forum members have had problems with the menopause - That's why we're here 

[Winterose]

Yes I think majority are here because we take HRT and are exchanging our  thoughts and experiences. It was someone on here who suggested to me to change my patches every 3 days instead of 4 and what a difference that made - that little tweak helped so much.  I too thought I would " sail " through this and symptoms would be helped by alternatives however like other posters 6 months on and lack of sleep due to flushes and sweats etc drove me to the Gp who straight away supplied HRT - thank goodness within 3 days there was a big improvement. I still have some small  issues which is why I am here however I feel they are probably caused by work stress .  Also remember sometimes how something reads isnt how the writer intended it to sound , am sure we have all taken offence at an email now and again which in no way was intended. Theres enough fighting going on in the world so lets not fight on here however mad and menopausal we feel 

[Limpy]

Bravo Limpy.

  Prajna

[CLKD]

I arrived here via Ovacome magazine which I subscribed too following my friend's death from a disease not talked about at the time. Known as 'the secret killer' the Magazine and eventual Forum was an informative place to dip in and out of. 

My family: that's a Grandma, a Granny, Mum, her Sister … but I only caught parts of any conversation because it wasn't to be talked about 'in front of the children'.  Not being close to my cousins I've not talked with them either  : has always called menopause "the Change" so I was aware that eventually periods would stop.  I have no recollection of hot flushes being discussed nor some of the awful effects that a drop in oestrogen could cause. 

So browsing here gave me confidence in that most of my symptoms were 'normal'.  To be expected.  My GP advised me 2 years ago about VA when repeated urine 'infections' didn't grow anything …….

My sister simply told me "I've been through all that" …… OK that's a no then 

Quality of Life is my Mantra ……. and I do hope that if GPs were going through similar symptoms there would be more dialogue with ladies 

[Mary G]

I had not realised that HRT was so emotive.  As someone who is very pro HRT, I find it very hard to sit back and say nothing when so many women seem to be suffering so much.  I would not be able to live with some of the symptoms these women have for a day let alone long term.  Having found something that works so well for me, I almost feel duty bound to share it with others and recommend it.  Not many forms of medication are as life changing as HRT and sorry if that sounds evangelical, it is not.  Because oestrogen acts like a kind of control centre for so many vital functions, it is relatively easy to treat in one fell swoop unlike so many other more complicated conditions that medications can either help or (in some case) cure the condition but they don't necessarily change your life or make such a huge impact.  These medications also carry risks.

As I have said before, everything you do has a risk and if you have decided that you do not want to take HRT and you are happy with that decision then you don't have a problem.  The problem is with the millions of women who either want or need HRT that are either unable to get hold of it of put off by bad science.  The choice is one only you can make.

[CLKD]

From the day we are born we take risks.  What I need from my GP is advice that I trust.   Advice that is up to date and which opens discussion.

As a hospital medical secretary I saw patients who accepted 'routine blood tests' without ever asking what they were for  .  Not once did a patient query why they were being sent for bloods.  I learnt from that always to query if ever I was concerned and if my GP didn't seem to engage at an appt., I made another a couple of weeks later going in with "I was probably asleep last time but could you explain …….. ".

When I get an experience then I want to share it ……… which is where Forums come in.  Spreading the 'word' ….. encouraging, advising, sharing …….. then people can take from my experience/s anything that might help and give it a whirl  . 

[Dana]

So I actually get quite offended by the people (some on this very thread) who claim menopause isn't "life threatening". These claims are so obviously made by women who never had any severe meno problems, because maybe in itself menopause isn't life threatening, or in the same realm as cancer or diabetes etc, but the side effects sure are life threatening. So unless you've actually been there, it's really not fair to judge.

Dana - you say you get quite offended when people claim menoopause isn't life threatening. However, you yourself said, "in itself menopause is not life threatening". Why get offended when other people make the same point?  I must confess that I feel strongly that meno in itself isn't life threatening but  do accept that the side effects may aggravate underlying issues.

It's like you only want comments from people who either: 1) Had bad issues with meno  Or  2) Agree with you! 


I think the vast majority of the forum members have had problems with the menopause - That's why we're here 

Of course menopause isn't life threatening, in the same sense that things like diabetes or cancer can be, but the people who make the claim that menopause isn't life threatening usually make absolutely no allowance for the fact that the side effects can be so horrific that they are life threatening - that's what's offensive to me. It seems they're just telling women to shut up and they have no right to complain because there are many people who are worse off.

Even you saying "but do accept that the side effects may aggravate underlying issues" would be quite belittling to a lot of women. You seem to be indicating that women must already have these depression, anxiety or suicidal issues before menopause, and menopause only magnifies the problems. I can tell that is so far from the truth it's not funny. I had no "underlying issues" prior to menopause. It was menopause wholly and solely that gave me the horrific symptoms I had.

[Nina]

i am young 43 and use hrt. I wouldn't if I didn't need to.

Not being able to have sex with my husband because of a wrinkled dried out prune of a vagina, not sleeping, becoming an over emotional wreck and a shadow of my former self was not nice at all.

So all you lot who are judging can just get lost. End of. Maybe menopause isn't life threatening but it's certainly relationship threatening.

I can't put into words how upset it makes me when I see this kind of holier than thou crap spouted around.

Someone tell me,

WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE?

and as for newer posters having to establish themselves before having an opinion, well. What a crock of shit. That's my opinion on that.

[honeybun]

 


Honeyb

[Joyce]

And breathe..........

[Nina]

im menopausal - what can I say? Sorry for my unusual hormonal outburst 

[GypsyRoseLee]

I think you raise an interesting point Nina. Menopause might not be life threatening in the terms that it can physically kill you, as cancer or diabetes can (though I would argue that the symptoms of hormonal depression caused by menopause can kill. A local woman recently committed suicide because of PND).

But the severe symptoms caused by menopause, both physical and psychological very much do threaten your life. In so far as they change the way you live, often to an extreme degree.

Personally I had to give up a hobby because physically I just wasn't able to do it because of the joint pains I get. This in turn impacted on my social life a bit.

I have had to drastically change what I eat and when I eat it, which again has impacted on me socially. Coffee is just a distant memory now.

I have had to restructure my week so that I don't have to do too much on any one day, because it makes me feel overwhelmed. I had to cancel or turn down quite a few invites because my mood was so fragile that the thought of socialising made me panic.

And then of course all the changes to your intimate life with your husband.

All of these have contributed to very much the 'death' of my pre perimenopause life. I fully accept that in my mid 40s I won't ever be as spritely as I was at 25. I know that.

But there are other precious areas of my pre perimenopausal life which can still be resurrected and enjoyed since I have been on HRT/BCP.

I am tentatively starting to enjoy the occasional coffee again. I feel more confident about accepting social invitations again. Now I can usuakky count on getting a decent 6 hours sleep every night. There are positive glimmers of the person I used to be. Yes, older and bit more wrinkled, but definitely more me again.

For over 2 years I thought I had lost myself and that all of the things I had enjoyed about my life and myself had died.

[Briony]

I'd told myself I was not going to post again on this thread as I think it has had its usefulness ... but reading Mary G, Nina and GRL's posts made me so emotional as they express more articulately than I can how I feel. I guess a number of us being 43 makes it all the more raw. This is what I meant yesterday when I said it 'cuts both ways'. It really isn't just those who are very pro hrt who can cause hurt on this site. Those who are very anti and aggressive in their arguments can - and do - cause just as much offence.

         

[Limpy]

So all you lot who are judging can just get lost. End of. Maybe menopause isn't life threatening but it's certainly relationship threatening.

I can't put into words how upset it makes me when I see this kind of holier than thou crap spouted around.

Don't think anybody was judging  or trying to be holier than thou

Assuming my post upset you -  I was describing how it is for me to be able to function at all - end of 
Sorry