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[Briony]

Thank you Briony.. Sorry to hear you had to stop exercising due to menopause..was it too painful and has hrt stopped it? I feel so much better now I'm doing yoga..appreciate I'm very lucky.I was practically symptom free until I stopped the pill when I reached 55 so only had six months of symptoms so far..not nearly as long as so many of you so I'm relatively OK in comparison.

Yes, it was too painful. I had water retention affecting the nerves, which resulted in ankle and shoulder pain, but it took ages to realise this and was it treated as a sports injury for ages. I was only 40 at the time, and running 40 odd miles a week, so it left me very frustrated.  HRT was definitely a step in the right direction, but being peri menopausal, it still resulted in extreme fluctuations (hrt 'tops up' rather than controls so sometimes I had too much estrogen) so I have now moved to the BCP. Feel better than I have done in years. That said - I do accept the pill isnt for everyone and am not suggesting everyone who takes it will have the same outcome.

Very interested that you took the BCP until your 50s. I wonder if it has made any difference to how your menopause will pan out? (Though that's for another thread - this one has already gone in enough directions  ).

B

[honeybun]

Even wiser words Prajna.

It does seem that some are being told that this site is not for them unless they belong to the evangelical HRT brigade.

It's getting stifling and over bearing.

All opinions should be respected at all times....experiences should be shared but at NO time should something be shoved down a members throat as being the ONLY way.

Understanding and empathy were the cornerstone of this forum when I joined many years ago.

We supported and nothing else.

What happened to that....it seems to be going....fast.

[TheDuchess]

Posters need to actually read what was posted before they start accusing people of things that they didn't say.


There are plenty of other menopause sites run by people with no formal medical qualifications whatsoever, and which offer many 'alternatives' to HRT.

This is quite different from saying' you ought not to be using this site'.

[honeybun]

I have been here a very long time and I know exactly how the forum was years ago..

Doesn't make it right but does make it very different.

When newbies joined they were welcomed and worked their way gradually into the forum. Me included....took me ages before I offered an opinion. I was looking for help and empathy and understanding. Which I got in spades.
The forum didn't have the edginess that it sometimes has now.

Still things change I guess.


Honeybun
X

[Briony]

The new direction of this thread makes me very uncomfortable.

I have certainly seen 'edginess' between  long-term members. One previous thread in particular was quite vitriolic,  so is it really fair to imply that it's the newer members who have altered things?  It almost sounds like you need to 'earn' the right to have an opinion (certainly an opinion other than that of the longer standing members)? Surely not?   Perhaps I've just mis-read things





 

[honeybun]

No not at all, just seems to me newer members who are looking for general,advice might be put off posting.

It's a difficult balance.

It's as I said....the forum is changing...but what doesn't over the years.

Who is to say what is right or wrong when it comes to this......all I know is we are all entitled to a say and to be listened too and not shouted down if the party line is not adhered to.


Honeybun

[skkb]

Wow.. I only reported that "they think HRT is safe" after all. Think I'll sneak off quietly to the doctors.....

[honeybun]

 .....don't go yet....hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.


Honeybun
X

[Briony]

.....don't go yet....hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.


Honeybun
X

Absolutely 

[Dana]

Teresa, oh dear. Your friend is very lucky to not even need to take aspirin, ever. But most of us are more human than that.

None of my friends are going through what I have suffered with for the last 2 years, and probably won't do for another 10 years still. I started perimenopause quite young.

Agree it is down to severity. Some symptoms are just crippling, either physiologically or psychologically, so why suffer?

The interesting thing is that some women may also be suffering menopause symptoms but refuse to admit it, or don't realise that's what's causing it. I am one of the youngest out of one of the group of friends I have. Most of them are in their 60s and 70s, and I'm the only one (at age 56) who is using HRT. When I began suffering horribly about 5 years ago I never got any sympathy or understanding from them. The attitude seemed to be that I was just being a whinger because none of them suffered anything.

However, when having dinner with them last week, it was actually quite amusing for me to listen to all of them complaining about their lack of sleep, their aches and pains, their anxiety, their lack of motivation etc. I just sat back very quietly - not giving them any of the sympathy or understanding I never got from them.

[Dana]

I think one of the reasons some of us on here, especially the younger ones (for whom the hrt risk is much lower) are less positive about alternative techniques is that we've spent so much time and money on them with so little improvement.  It particularly frustrates me when people suggest exercise as a way of coping, as for some of us, we've had to give up exercising because of our symptoms.    I spent not far off £500 on physio and osteo appointments in a desperate hope it would cure things,ditto pilates, expensive herbal remedies and high dose vitamin d on a private prescription. I did all of this in the desperate hope it would mean I wouldn't have to succumb to hrt or the pill - I literally trawled the internet looking for the next remedy or a genuine example of how someone my age with similar symptoms had had great success from a natural remedy.
Unfortunately, I didn't find it.
 - What I did find instead was this site and  people who understood my situation and eased my 'guilt' about tasking hrt; finding  a lovely, level headed GP who helped me get things in perspective and make an informed choice about my medication was the icing on the cake.

Whatever route you decide to take, natural or otherwise, I hope you find a solution that works for you. Perhaps the only thing we can all agree on in this thread is the fact that hormones can be damned horrid!

I will admit to being very anti-alternate medications for menopause because FOR ME the alternatives were a complete and total waste of time, it made everything worse, and it cost me a fortune.

I was really reluctant to take HRT, because I was one of the sheep who believed what I read in the media. I said "I want to do this naturally" and went to a naturopath. What a joke. Over a period of 3 months I spent $3,000 (Aussie dollars - I don't know what that is in UK coin), but it was a hell of a lot of money..... and I was actually worse off when I was finished because I now had a dependency on diazepam, which came with a whole set of new and interesting problems to add to the menopause issues.

It's only in the last 12-18 months or so that I've finally gotten my life back on track, but I still have ups and downs because of my issues with progesterone/progestin, but I KNOW that if I wasn't on HRT I probably would have taken my own life by now, so bad were my symptoms.

So I actually get quite offended by the people (some on this very thread) who claim menopause isn't "life threatening". These claims are so obviously made by women who never had any severe meno problems, because maybe in itself menopause isn't life threatening, or in the same realm as cancer or diabetes etc, but the side effects sure are life threatening. So unless you've actually been there, it's really not fair to judge.

[skkb]

Dana I absolutely agree. Some women don't suffer at all, or have such slight symptoms they are easily dealt with. Only the women whose symptoms are severe, like yours and mine, really know how bad it gets.....and I mean BAD. I'm now 65' after 12 happy years on HRT I was badgered and slightly bullied into stopping it, all the adverse health issues were thrown at me. I now regret that decision.....nearly a year on the symptoms are as bad, I've given it time to settle (that's what I was told to do) and I've had a miserable time, affecting many aspects of my life. I now have a doctors appointment next week to discuss returning to HRT. For me it's about getting quality of life back.....I may only have up to 29 years left on this planet, half of which if not all could be feeling like this. Some ladies never get rid of the sweats....they can last a lifetime.

[Briony]

Dana, you've said what I was trying to say, only you said it more articulately! X

[littleminnie]

According to the experts you are at risk if

You drink alcohol
Smoke
Are overweight
Have too much sugar
Have to much fat
Don't have enough fruit/veg
Don't exercise

Who knows what risks you are up against when taking other medication.

I would not have taken HRT if my symptoms weren't severe, and for me it made a difference between living and existing.   
Everybody has a choice and what they choose is entirely up to them.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I certainly haven't told anyone here to go elsewhere. All I said was that there are plenty of other sites which are far more heavily orientated toward natural remedies than Menopause Matters is. Which happens to just be a fact.

MM does allude to alternative treatment but I think it is obvious that the majority of women on here do take HRT or other forms of modern medicine to help cope with their symptoms. Also I think many posters were referred here by their GPs, so it was always likely that that poster was already using conventional hormone treatment, hence them seeing their GP.

So if a poster wanted more extensive information on alternative treatment, or wanted feedback from lots of women using alternative treatments, then there are other forums better catering for their needs.

I spent 2 years trying alternate treatments, which cost me a small fortune (private naturopaths and herbalists aren't cheap) but nothing worked for me. I would have loved for it to have done but it just didn't.

But I wouldn't dream of telling someone else not to try.

But I do resent someone trying to twist what I have said in order to esculate a discussion into an argument and in order to try and score petty points.