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[GeordieGirl]

Is anyone else on here single?

I sort of am, I've been with my partner for 2 and a half years now and love him to bits....but enjoy my own space too. We spend most of the week together, either at his or my place, but I do love to have a night or two home alone. The real test however will be coming shortly - due to a huge building project, his house will be uninhabitable for around 5 months so he's moving in with me. That's full time, no sneaky little nights off.  Uh-oh.   He's fairly easy to live with and my girls love him to bits, but I do like a bit of space.

How do you cope with a 'full time' man around the place?

GG x

[groundhog]

Well I've been married 35 years but at the moment have a need for my own space.  So does OH in fairness.  We live in a small bungalow so it's difficult at times.  We tend to have our routines though as in he always gets up before me as I'm quiet in the mornings whereas he is really chatty. The evenings - I tend to stay in conservatory until 8 then shower and come into lounge about 9 when we watch TV together.  He loves the history channel,  hates soaps and anything normal so he gets the TV to himself from 7-9.  I tend to be on my own in the days anyway but if I'm not he does have a habit of following me around which drives me up the wall 😡

[CLKD]

Whose suggestion was it GG?  Are there B&B/Hotels close by so that he can move out for a break?  You have to consider why this hasn't happened in 2+ years  ……..

[Joyce]

I've lived with my hubby for 38 years & we do have our own times.  We have tea together, then watch some TV together. He then goes off to do stuff on the computer for an hour or so. I catch up on TV or come on here. Then we watch a film or something. I go to bed before him, so he then has TV to himself.

Mind you if football is on, I vanish into thin air. 

[Scampi]

You are both used to your own time, so I don't think getting time to yourself when you are living together 24/7 will be a problem.  He's likely to want his own space anyway.

My husband and I have been married 8 years, but have lived together for almost 20 years.  Even when he's not working away all week, we have our time doing our own things, whether that's our own hobbies, spending time with our own friends, or watching our own choice of TV programmes.  It just 'works' - we've never discussed it, never made definite plans for this happen, it's just how we are happy together.

[buggz_71]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years and lived together for 2 months before getting married. I work so I am out till about 3:30pm in the afternoons and he is retired. So he has all day to do his own thing. I buzz about the house quite a bit and have a 15 year old boy to look after so I am constantly on the go. I watch telly in the evenings after doing dinner and clearing away, mostly I give in to what the boys want to watch but will sit and watch movies on my iPad if I don't like what is on at that time. I use earphones so not to disturb them! I think we spend a LOT of time together but also as a family I do occasionally meet with my friends but mostly when I am on holiday or the boys are doing something else.
I think Geordie Girl that as you are both used to your own space that you will both just find that things will just slot into place but it might take some rearranging or both your schedules to accommodate you both. Good luck!

[Dancinggirl]

Geordiegirl - I do understand your concern. I am married to someone who is either away working - sometimes for weeks at a time - and then home all the time for months. I have to adjust my life accordingly and it isn't always easy. Of course, this is where the 'man cave' comes in - I wouldn't consider living anywhere where we didn't each have our own area to retreat to. He may be feeling the same, so perhaps lay down some ground rules? I would certainly make it clear that some 'time out every so often so you can do your own thing' is best for the relationship. I assume he will be keeping an eye on the building works etc. so hopefully won't be under your feet all the time.
Good luck DG x
 

[honeybun]

If it's going to work then it does. If it doesn't work then it's not meant to be.

After nearly 31 years we have kind of worked out how things go......but you are newbies to the living together.....it should be new and exciting and what you want to do.

If it doesn't give you shivers of anticipation of a new life together then perhaps it's not for you.


I know some couples live together but apart....own space needed ...well yes you don't have to live in each other's pockets. Different interests etc. but if you don't actually feel good then perhaps it's not the....right time....right man.


Honeybun
X

[Dyan]

I've been married to my DH for 24 years but lived together 34.
We tend to have our evenings together watching TV which we both like.
Once a month DH goes to his club and I enjoy an evening watching what I want
DH has the odd night away working so that gives us more space.
I do like to have time to myself but also enjoy the company of DH and I do miss him when he's away- sometimes
It's just a case of having got use to it.
He is now upstairs doing some exercise and I'm on here, but we will sit down together and eat and catchup with whatever we have recorded.
I don't think I would want him to be away all week and home weekends like some.
We've had our time apart like that when we were courting- couldn't stand it

[getting_old]

I'd suggest talking things through somewhere neutral before he moves in. It's going to be a big change for both of you, but maybe more for him because he's going to be living in your place and you will have your way of doing things, your places to put stuff, etc. and he may feel like he's intruding.
There were times when DH lived away for a few weeks at a time so I'd get into a routine without him, then he'd return and it would take a few days for us to get back into being together, then he'd leave again and I'd miss him.

[honeybun]

I had that for years GO.

Hubby worked abroad for years and years....out on a Monday, then back in two weeks with a case of dirty washing. We lived like that for so long.
I lived a very independent life and found it difficult when he came home for a short time then left again leaving me with two over excited children.

Retirement was our big test.....it took time but now I just like having him around.


Honeybun
X

[Ju Ju]

When I first went out with my DH, I couldn't imagine sharing the same space, but over time we grew together. But after time apart, I found it hard before we grew back together again. Having our own space, friends and interests, while sharing at other times. I relish time alone in the knowledge that we get back together. We've been married for nearly 35 years. It works. We respect each other, treat each other with love and kindness, most of the time.....hormones... 

See how you get on over a period of time. Discuss your reservations and maybe set some boundaries.

[CLKD]

How goes it