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[grumpyjane]

Well here i am grumpyjane. Sums up how I feel most of the time and how my family see me. I'm 58 and have been menopausal for 8 years ie. Flushes, mood swings, irritability, insomnia, tearful, vaginal atrophy, loss of libido etc etc. You all know it. I coped with it all to start with , but new symptoms just keep coming. I'm spending a lot of time abroad in South America with a newish partner ( 3 years) and his 2 girls. I don't have my own children so at my age this is a big challenge! The 2 things which impact most on my life at the moment are irritability and loss of sex drive. I just don't want any physical contact anymore and even find it repulsive when i feel i have to give in to my partner's  pleas. He is quite supportive,  but in the end, he's a man and can't really understand it. I miss my friends and my sister a lo . Here I have no friends and no one to talk to so i really hope to find some support here. Have been reading some posts and relieved to know I'm not alone.
Jane x

[CLKD]

   wow, South America!  what an experience: if you had the energy to deal with it!  How brave!

Try not to mother the children but find things to do together, i.e. walking, cycling, painting, drawing, bird watching.  Are they in school regularly?  What is the infra-structure like there?  Are you there for your new partner's job?

How is Health Care in your area?

[marras]

Hi Grumpyjane. Just wanted to say how brave you are trying to cope with relocating to a different country, new man and children etc. as well as trying to live with all the awful menopause symptoms! I know, as do many others, how very wearing it is trying to cope with ever increasing symptoms that just go on and on. I'm much older than you and tried to deal with awful symptoms for twelve years before succumbing to HRT to enable me to have some sort of quality of life. I hope that you will gain a lot of information and help from this site. There are a lot of very knowledgeable ladies on the forum so keep tuning in!

[grumpyjane]

Yes CLKD the children are in school but we are still enduring 3months summer holidays at the moment!  I met my partner here while I was travelling, and a year later gave up job, house friends and family and moved out here. I suppose I was brave but it's working. So this presents other problem with healthcare. I  hope to find a specialist doctor who will be able to help, or see my GP on visits back home. Marras, 12 years! My goodness, I  though I was a martyr suffering 8 years. HRT did have such a bad reputacion but maybe things have moved on and I should think about it again. How are you geting on with it? My partner sometimes asks me how long these symptoms will last - meaning when will I be interested in sex again! Well, I'm also going try and investigate meditation techniques too and make more effort to speak to friends on skype. I'm sure I will find lots more help here too! Jane x

[Hurdity]

Hi grumpyjane

 

Re vaginal atrophy - do you use any vaginal oestrogen to make things more comfortable down there? This is really important. There is a lot of info on this site:
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/vaginalsymptoms.php
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/dryness.php
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/vaginalresources.php
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/local.php

Re sex drive - unfortunately this is a common problem - to restore it you would need to take some form of HRT and possibly testosterone. http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/testosterone.php  There is a tablet called Livial which acts like oestrogen, progesterone and tesosterone which you might find helpful. It's not too late to start ( just) as you are 8 years post-meno and not yet 60 but I wouldn't wait too long before trying it due to some small risks if you are more than 10 years post-meno/over 60, and especially if you want to take tablet HRT.
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/postmeno.php

TABLETS

e. Gonadomimetic LIVIAL* (TIBOLONE)    gonadomimetic synthetic preparation with weak estrogenic, progestogenic & androgenic properties    Â£10.56

Because of its androgenic component, Livial can be particularly helpful for postmenopausal patients with reduced libido. Current evidence suggests that Livial does not increase mammographic breast density, as occurs with other types of HRT and long term use of Livial is thought to be associated with a similar increased risk of breast cancer to that of estrogen alone, which is less than that of estrogen plus progestogen.


Unfortunately without treatment your symptoms ( re VA) will not go away and will get worse, and unfortunately if you have lost your sex drive, this may well never return - without a little help from HRT!

It goes without saying that HRT will help, and  will usually eliminate flushes and sweats.

Great to try meditation techniques to help with mood and irritability 

Hope this helps!

Hurdity x 

[grumpyjane]

Hi hurdity.
No, I haven't tried any vaginal oestrogen. I tried Replens for a few months which sort of worked, but wasn't worth the effort or mess.. Now i just use Yes water based lubricant when I need it    It's quite good. I've  also been using Progesta Plus which you can order from the US. It's  supposed to help with general menopause symptoms but I have not noticed any provement.
I've been reading a lot of the info on this site and reckoned that Livial would be the one to try. I always wanted to get through all this without any medication but I'm beginning to realise you don't "get through it" it just carries on and on and adds more and more symptoms! ! Maybe quality of life is more important than slightly higher risks. I think I'm going to research Livial a bit more, see if it has a generic and try to find a doctor here (Venezuela ) to talk to.
Thanks for all the links  and the support! I appreciate it. Jane xx

[Hurdity]

Re quality of life - yes that's what many of us have decided as we have made our choices - and for many there really isn't a choice, with busy lives, family, jobs, children etc - we need to be able to function well, rather than become an invalid for the rest of our lives and take to our beds - or be sent to the madhouse - as women were in the old days before enlightenment and the reasons and hormones were discovered!

The generic product for Livial is Tibolone (I nearly wrote Toblerone - now wouldn't that be good!) but I'm not sure if it is available elsewhere - I presume it is approved in some other countries?

Good luck finding a doc and keep us posted 

Hurdity x