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[GypsyRoseLee]

I agree. I have a stack of 50mg patches still, I'm almost tempted to slap one on and see what happens?

Just so weary of second guessing myself. And it's so frustrating to enjoy 2.5 weeks at a time feeling really good, only to feel like you're back at square one again each time.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 58:

Slept well but woke feeling on edge. Lay in bed for a while and didn't feel good at all. Just that unpleasant jittery, frightened for no reason sensation.

My mood improved after a big lunch, but it came back at around tea time. It's so wearing psychologically, having to push yourself through it and keep on going. I wonder if by pushing myself through I am actually helping myself or actually harming myself? Just don't know?

[jedigirl]

Am same GRL, really wearing day, so hard to fight through a work day today feeling scared and anxiety surges.
Are you still happy with your choice of treatment?

[GypsyRoseLee]

Sorry to hear you're struggling too Jedigirl. You have my sympathy.

Just over a week ago I was quietly confident that the BCP was really working well for me, I had begun to feel hopeful that I was on the road to recovery. But then I started a withdrawal bleed and felt I was back at square one again with the same old nasty symptoms. And still waiting for my mood to properly pick up.

If I get another 2-3 stretch of feeling good then that will change my opinion again I'm sure.

[jedigirl]

Ah bless you  GRL, its so frustrating isn't it? Always three steps forward two back. Hope things ease soon x

[Briony]

Sorry to hear you're struggling too Jedigirl. You have my sympathy.

Just over a week ago I was quietly confident that the BCP was really working well for me, I had begun to feel hopeful that I was on the road to recovery. But then I started a withdrawal bleed and felt I was back at square one again with the same old nasty symptoms. And still waiting for my mood to properly pick up.

If I get another 2-3 stretch of feeling good then that will change my opinion again I'm sure.

Do remember it's still really early days. I was still having doubts by the end of month three and it wasn't until month five that I felt really sure I'd done the right thing moving to a BCP x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 59:

Saw locum GP who suggested a change of BCP to stop the constant spotting. So given Gedarel 30/50. But have to give myself a withdrawal bleed by stopping for 7 days before starting it.

Got rushes of adrenaline each time I tried to drop off last night. Woke up feeling wired. Felt very anxious all day. Horrible. No idea why I should be feeling like this?

[Briony]

Think that's the same as Marvelon? If so, that's the one I begged to switch to. Had really good reviews, especially for peri symptoms.  Opposite side of pill ladder - more estrogen dominant - which could work for you. Will be so interested to hear how you get on. Don't over think your current mood - even going to docs and knowing you're starting something different would probably be enough to raise anxiety slightly. Also, remember that your new pill has fewer progesterone related side effects x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Yes it's the same as Marvelon he told me. I'm pleased that it's more oestrogen dominant. Just wish I could start straight on it rather than having to have this 7 day break. Especially as my body insisted on me having a withdrawal bleed last week anyway.

The last 3 nights I've struggled to drop off despite feeling very sleepy. Nasty adrenaline surges keep snatching me back from the brink of sleep. Then I'm waking feeling that I've slept okay but feeling very jittery. Feels like I'm regressing.

[Briony]

Thanks Briony, so the bio identical bcp can't be taken if your over 35 and smoke? How is this different to the bio identical gels etc? Sorry more questions   
So if I'm on 3 pumps of oestrogel how does that compare to 200mcg paches?

I dont think any combined BCP can be taken if you're over 35 and smoke, but I could be wrong. If any was to be the exception, it would be the bio identical BCP (Qlaira) as the estrogen in it is a lot less potent than other pills (as it's not synthetic). Pross Studd and the PMS Society both recommend 200mcg patches or 4-5 pumps of gel so I presume they are similar? Would love to hear from people who've tried this method to suppress ovulation and control fluctuations, but I guess it's fairly rare as most people - unlike you and me - can take a stronger BCP instead.

[GypsyRoseLee]

When I saw my GP yesterday for a repeat prescription of my BCP he suggested I have a 7 day break to allow my body to have a withdrawal bleed, and then start on a different brand in hope of stopping the daily brown spotting.

So next week I'm starting Gedarel (Marvelon). This is a more oestrogen dominant Pill than the Rigevidon that I've been on, so hoping it might be an improvement when it comes to keeping my mood better balanced.

[Dorothy]

Hope the new pill works better for you GRL.

I went ahead with running 2 packs together, so I'm now on day 23 of taking it continuously - finally made my decision as I have a job interview for a p/t job tomorrow and couldn't risk having crashing fatigue during that!  If I'd had the break according to plan, I could expect to be very tired today and totally incapable of waking up tomorrow!!!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Good luck for the interview Dorothy, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I was concerned how I would feel on this 7 day break, with no hormonal help, but since yesterday lunch I have been feeling much better. Slept great last night and some this morning feeling very well.

[Briony]

Dorothy - all the best for your interview. Let us know how it goes.

GRL - I'm really hoping this works for you. I know a number of people who took Microgynon and found it affected their mood. (In fact we had an interesting talk about this at work today - we ended up questioning how many people have unnecessarily ended up on ADs as a result of not questioning the BCPs prescribed). That's why I got so obsessed with the (NHS) Avon pill ladder - I was determined to take one with a more estrogenic progesterone (not that the research did me any good). If you think about it, even the Mirena causes adverse mood effects in some people, so taking the same prog in oral form will inevitably have at least similar effects, if not greater. Hopefully this new prog will be kinder. I know reviews can be misleading, but there's lots on Mumsnet about both the pills you've taken. Marvelon seems to come out best! X

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thanks Briony. I am feeling positive about starting Marvelon next week.

Right now I'm feeling very 'good' again. Upbeat. Centered. Positive about life. Yet again my hormones have turned my inner dial from 'Wretched' to 'Wonderful' in just the space of a few hours.

I know you understand how that feels, all too well!