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[Briony]

I feel the same way. All I know that's potentially stronger is the 200mcg patches ... But reticent to swap. Better the Devil and all that !
On a different note, have you seen the post about taking the BCP back to back? Once again, I found myself directing people to this thread. So grateful you started it!

[Dorothy]

I had to run 2-3 pill packs together in my late 20s/early 30s to deal with gynae issues and I found I often still had a slight monthly bleed.  Also, I feel like the BCP suppresses rather than totally overrides my own hormonal cycle - I can get slight PMT symptoms at random points during the pack.

My GP says that women on BCP SHOULDN'T get these symptoms, but accepts that they do.

On the plus side, I found that when I took BCP for gynae problems AND now that that I am taking it for peri, although the symptoms didn't go away totally, they were much, much better than not being on the pill - the ups and downs were less extreme and the symptoms not as bad.  Currently, I'm having the break at the end of each pack, but my GP has advised running packs together to avoid getting the symptoms on my break - having read your Pill Diary, I'm now going to try this - thank you for sharing this as it has helped me make up my mind!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi, thank you yes I have seen that other thread and replied on it to Dorothy 

Day 54:

Felt incredibly sleepy at bedtime last night, almost to the point of being unable to keep my eyes open as I climbed the stairs to bed! Slept well.

Today I think I feel slightly better than yesterday, but I certainly can't class it as one of the 'good' days which I have happily been getting used to on the BCP. Still felt depressed and unable to find pleasure in anything, just forcing myself through the motions so to speak. That lovely contented feeling of well-being is very much absent and instead I feel on-edge and tearful.

But I have certainly felt much worse, so that's something I guess 

I'm on Day 3 now of getting quite a bit of fresh, red bleeding (sorry if that's TMI) certainly as much as I used to get during a 'proper' period back before the BCP and HRT. I feel quite angry with my body for being so determined to have a 'period' despite the very best attempts of modern medicine to stop it happening     

[Poppyflower]

Hi Gypsy,

Not to be a downer but this is what happened to me as well when I was on BCP. I did try several different BCP as my gynae informed me that we react differently to the different progesterone. After about 4 different pills I tried the BCP patch and this is what I tolerated the best. While I was definitely feeling so much better I was also having break through symptoms and decided to continue on my search for symptom control and decided to try HRT. I decided on this so that I could take estrogen and prometrium separately to try and figure if was having issue from estrogen or prometrium. Long strip short have not made much head way and think I will be going back to BCP. I do have an appointment with my endocrinologist in a couple of weeks, at that time I will be definitely talking about bcp not stopping break through symptoms and I will let you know what she has to say! Good luck with everything

[GypsyRoseLee]

I would be interested to hear what they have to say Poppyflower. I go back to see my own consultant in 8 weeks time so intend staying on the BCP until then, and then see what she has to say. Though I don't hold out much hope as I barely get chance to speak and she's busy writing up my notes before I have even left the room.

If I just get a return of symptoms for say 3-4 days per month then I could shoulder that, I really could. Especially if I knew roughly when they would appear. Bit if they're going to manifest for a week to 10 days at a time, and popping up randomly through out the month, whenever, then I'm no better than I was before.

My GP is still quite keen to put me on ADs, because he's not convinced my issues are just hormonal. He thinks if my issues were purely hormonal then I would just get symptoms, at a set point once a month, and for a certain time.

But I know from before that ADs just switch off ALL emotion and I feel quite numbed-out and detached from life. Though I'm speaking from 14 years ago when I had PND, so not sure if I would react the same now?

[Briony]

Poppyflower, I too had heard good things about the BC patch - though cant take it personally as it's a higher risk than the pill version.

Like you, I am wondering about being creative with what I take. I know my body liked Utrogestan (Prometrium) but hated the dip once I stopped the 12 days. I wonder, if I instead took it for 25 days (100mg) along with a higher dose estrogen more like the pill (ie equivalent of 3mg rather than 2mg which I take now) then I'd have the best of both worlds? I could take this amount via a patch or gel, even if HRT pills dont go that high. Trouble is, the reverse could be true too and I could make things so much worse,  hence my reticence!

Must add, this isnt me trying to know better than the experts - I got the idea from the PMS society website!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 55:

Not really any better today I'm afraid. I have felt worse in the past, but have also felt much, much better than this. Felt flat and grey all day, and life seems pointless right now. It is very, very werying living like this, except it's more like just existing.

Still getting the fresh blood mixed with the brown spotting. Just praying this bleed will stop soon and that my symptoms will stop with it.

[jedigirl]

Hi GRL,
Been reading your diary with interest. How are you today? x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi jedigirl, thank you for reading 

Day 56:

Very, very pleased to report that my mood is better today. Phew. And I don't think it can be just a coincidence that my light bleed of fresh blood seems to have finished too?

I would so love to be able to sit down with an endocrinologist for just half an hour and find out exactly how the hormones in my BCP and my own hormones are interacting, and what has caused this bleed of 5 days. And why it has caused a return of my very low mood/anxiety. Because I really, really can't think this is a coincidence?

Anyway, last night I forgot to take the BCP (took it as soon as I woke) but still slept okay, but I did wake with that nasty wired, meerkat response. I do think the progesterone in the BCP stops that meerkat waking.

Still felt very flat and miserable all morning, but it started to lift around lunch. Now I'm back to feeling quite nicely contented inside and relaxed.

But my legs, knees and ankles are suddenly really aching. No reason for it, it just started this afternoon. It's like I've walked up a mountain and back in heels!

[jedigirl]

Glad you're feeling better this afternoon. I felt awful this morning, slightly better now but shaking like I've had a shock.
The whys are always there aren't they, think it's the hardest part of understanding all of this.
I wonder if your aches are a reaction to your stressful day. I am fully expecting a backlash of aches or dodgy tummy once this stressy period passes. Always happens 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Glad you feel a bit better. It's funny how our mood usually improves as the day goes on?

I just don't know what has caused my aching legs? I usually get very achy ankles, but never had it in my whole legs before.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 57:

Slept very well. Had that lovely sleepy but rested feeling when I woke up. Mood still much better and legs have stopped aching.

Just back to the normal brown spotting too. Late this afternoon I kept getting little pangs of depression/dread which was odd.

I think the BCP is helping me. But I think I also need to recover from all the emotional/psychological trauma of all of this. And I really think it's going to take time, probably quite a bit of it. I feel like I've teetered on the edge of a breakdown and danced along the edge of it for nearly 2 years.

[Briony]

Interesting you're on Day 59. I assume you started the pill at the start of a bleed/period? In which case, if you had not gone back to back you would now be in (towards the end of) a bleed/period? I wonder if the two are connected?

I am convinced I have PMS at present, despite being on day 8. I truly believe that this pill  - while miles more controlling than anything else I've tried - is still not powerful enough to take over entirely. Taking 2mg of natural estrogen (so similar to many HRTs) it seems feasible that it's not enough to suppress my hormones entirely? But then again, surely that would mean it's not providing contraception? So damned confusing !

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Briony

It was Day 57 rather than 59, but near as dammit as regards my own body quite possibly still forcing me through a 'period' and accompanying symptoms despite the BCP.

[Briony]

That's what I thought - so close, surely not coincidental? Guess we do have to remember, in comparison to the older pills, we are both on a very low dose?