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[SadLynda]

GRL - I have loved reading, infact I am thinking of suggesting the BCP to my new GP when I go as it has worked so well for you.  I have been taking Omega 7 for about 3 weeks now and my skin is a lot better than it was, might be a thought for you too.

Love the bit about the 5am meerkat, that sound all too familair

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh thank you  I'm so glad it might be helping in some way.

Day 46:

Yet another good day. Slept well. I still don't sleep like I used to before this perio crappness, but I feel normally sleepy at bedtime, drop off easily and have fairly rational dreams which is a positive sign I think? Back before taking the BCP I had basically stopped dreaming as my sleep was so thin and patchy.

Back then the quality of my sleep was like a scratchy nylon shirt. But now it feels like a warm, soft jumper.

Mood still upbeat and normal. And this is despite having had a horribly stressful day at work where I had to deal with abuse from someone who isn't entirely well mentally. It was quite shocking and very unfair of them, and I felt sick and shakey at the time. But I seem to have bounced back and recovered like I would have done back before peri.

My skin is still clear again, and the brown spotting is much lighter today.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 47:

Yet another really good day. Looking back I had become so down and basically frightened of life before I went on the BCP. HRT gave me an occasional taste of feeling much better but it never lasted long.

Skin still much clearer and virtually no brown spotting today.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 48:

Skin back to being nice and clear again, and my hair feels much smoother and silkier (it has been feeling much drier and coarser since being on BCP).

I wonder if I'm adapting to the higher levels of progesterone and my body is now used to it?

But, in my self I just feel so good still. I have this very strong feeling of inner well being, that pretty much disappeared 2 years ago when my peri menopause began. I just spent so many days and weeks feeling totally on edge, and very exposed and basically just plain frightened.

[Briony]

I so wish a thread like this had existed two years ago when I first wanted to switch to the BCP but was too worried. It would have saved me so many wasted hours/days/months. I think our experiences show that for younger women, you really will benefit from something stronger that will control rather than just top up. It's interesting what you say about getting used to the progesterone - I think I had a similar issue at first with my hair shedding. After a month or so things just turned round and I suddenly stopped being scared to wash it or brush it!

[LW44]

so good to hear your still doing well !  can i just ask? is the fear of the fear subsiding? if i wasnt progestrone intolerant i wouls def consider the bcp x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Briony, I have to confess that nearly 2 years when I first presented at my GP with mood swings and random anxiety the GP I saw did suggest the BCP. But I was horrified at the thought of taking it in my mid 40s ( thought there were big health risks etc) and she didn't push it. Sadly. Very sadly. If she had reassured me that there weren't health risks, and that younger women with fluctuating hormones need something stronger than HRT.

But she never mentioned anything more, and I had no idea that the BCP was much stronger than HRT. And so I spent the next 20 months in Hell, see sawing between anxiety, depression, insomnia and with just the odd few 'good' days scattered in between. What a tragic waste.

For me, HRT was like trying to pin the tail on the donkey whilst wearing a blindfold. Just so hit and miss. On the BCP I feel like I've got the donkey saddled up and I'm riding it, and in control.

LW44, yes I think the fear of the fear is starting to fade just a little. I suspect it will take months though. I know after PND it took nearly a year to have 'forgotten' how dreadful it had made me feel.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oops, just realised I forgot to update last night.

Day 49:

Still feeling nicely calm and upbeat. Skin really clear again and hair much softer and silkier. Think I have over come the issue with progesterone?

But during afternoon I started to feel very slightly edgy and fraught. Also felt headachy too and a bit grumpy.

But it's nothing like as dreadful as I used to feel on HRT and prior to HRT. It's what I would describe as just 'regular' PMS symptoms which is fine.

[Briony]

I often have to remind myself that even 'normal' people have down days and PMS days. Going through all this crap has meant I've really lost sight of reality! x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Totally agree. I lost sight of what was normal anymore. I was fluctuating so constantly and the dips were so awful that I had no idea of how I 'should' feel. You just lose all context.

Day 50:

Felt very, very slightly 'off' today. A tiny but edgy. But had a little bit of fresh blood in the usual brown spotting and a couple of very mild cramps. I'm 6-7 days into my 3rd pack so wondering if my body is trying to have a period, hence the slight edginess and the bit of fresh blood?

[GypsyRoseLee]

Sorry, meant to add that although I feel a tiny bit off it's NOTHING like the awful mood dips and feelings if despair I used to experience.

I'm still fine and contemplating a bit of shopping tomorrow possibly in a town nearby that I haven't really visited before, just for a change. To put it in context, when I had bad days before it was all I could manage to just go to our village shop to buy bread. And I would usually have to ask my poor Mum to come over and be with me because I was frightened to be on my own.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 51:

Slept deeply. Woke early, but went back to sleep and found it hard to wake up. Felt almost drugged. Felt headachy all day, and still a little fresh blood when I wipe. Some mild cramps too. Really think my body is probably trying to have a period. Also felt a bit on edge all day with some little ****les of anxiety. But nothing I couldn't cope with and much milder than the anxiety/mood dips I used to get.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Day 52:

Found it hard to drop off to sleep last night, kept half jerking awake. Not nice. Woke up feeling out of sorts and rather flat. Felt worse as the day went on. Bit jittery and unhappy. Body definitely doing its best to have a period as quite a bit of fresh blood when I wipe.

Really hope this passes soon. If I just get a few days per month of this I can cope.

[Briony]

I still get the odd blip like this too. I am convinced it's our crazy hormones fighting to over ride the pill's control. I seem to always have spotting -albeit really light - whenever I have a blip. Weirdly, I get this ... Yet don't get an end of pack bleed (despite blank pills!). Hope you feel better soon x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Briony

I can only think it must be our hormones trying to fight back. There can't be any other explanation. I'm just shocked my hormones can still even overide the BCP!!! How is that possible? Especially when I'm taking it continuously.

Day 53:

Felt so sleepy last night and slept well. But felt quite low and miserable all day. Had to force myself to smile and make conversation. Just the usual nasty sense of pointlessness mixed with some anxiety, and felt near to tears for much of the day. But I have had it quite a bit worse in the past.

 It must be hormonal because I had quite a bit of fresh blood today and had a few quite severe cramps. My body seems determined to have a period come what may.

I just don't know what there is left that can shut down my ovaries totally, apart from having them removed?