Hello Ladies, thank you so much for all of your replies - I realise now that I am definitely not alone in feeling like this. I had hoped that I would be one of the lucky ones who 'sail' through the perimenopause but, with my history, the PMS has been horrendous. I am seeing my Dr tomorrow & will stress that I need something extra during the second half of the month.
GillMojo, I wrote down my anxieties as you suggested and had a proper talk with my husband, reading out what I had written. He had a better idea of how horrible this experience has been for me. I will carry on writing the anxieties down when they arise.
Babyjane, I will print out the advice for husbands as this looks extremely helpful - all men should read this! :-) I am exactly the same as you - my mood can plummet then change so quickly. My husband said I am like Jekyll & Hyde!
Kathleen/CLKD/Robotwars - I will look into the taking the probiotics - sadly, I cannot have the yoghurt drinks as I now have a milk intolerance and break out in itchy spots if I have anything milky - Grrrr.
GypsyRoseLee/CLKD/TropicalVon69 - I know exactly how you feel - my anxiety problems started in my teens and worsened after I gave birth to my children. I had PND, although AD's helped to prevent me going into hospital. I know what you mean about feeling like a robot though - I feel 'not with it' at times. My son was diagnosed with autism just before he was 3 and, as you can imagine, it was very hard for all of us so I never really had much of a break from AD's but, on the positive side, my son has made huge progress and, despite some psychological issues, is generally a very happy young man (he is 21 this year). The dr that I saw recently is reluctant to prescribe progesterone because of the severe PMS, in case it makes it worse. So frustrated as I just want it to end. I do wonder if I will feel better once I get through the perimenopause.
Robotwars - I want to try HRT again but it is finding the right dosage because of the progesterone/PMS problem and wildly fluctuating hormones - I ended up with too much oestrogen in my system a year ago & had to stop but maybe I will be able to try it again soon.
Many thanks again to all of you for your encouraging replies. :-) and the hugs :-) xx
My period finally started properly on Saturday after spotting for nearly a week and a half so I will have had bleeding for half of the month which is no joke. I then will have 1 'normal' week before the whole wretched anxiety business starts again (it seems that my mood dips mid-cycle now).
I find that I am incapable of making decisions and sticking to them - I will panic and change my mind. In the Spring I resigned from my school job (the atmosphere and pressure there was unbearable and I had to get out, despite missing the children - I had a breakdown during Feb/March). I was then offered a job in a supermarket on Customer Services but declined the position after finding out that I would be required to work on checkouts as I felt I wouldn't cope with the large queues. I am due to start at another school next month but feel terrified - I could kick myself for declining that other job as checkouts seem a less scary prospect now but, at the beginning of May, I was still recovering from the breakdown. I have been volunteering through the summer & enjoy this but I need to start earning money soon. Does anyone else have this problem as well? My husband said I would feel this way about any job. The anxiety rears up whenever I have to make decisions like this! Babs xx