Sorry to be delayed in getting back. I spent the day with a friend yesterday in the countryside to try and get perspective.
I have done a lot of what you have already advised. Gone to HR, Union etc.
My boss is uber stressed and feels trapped I think. I feel totally like a second class citizen in the dynamic and it does not please me to say it. I have a HR lawyer friend who helped me construct a script for my back to work meeting which evidenced how my boss had mismanaged my phased return. Also my husband and my sister who have nursed me through this depression/menopausal episode- insisted that I also tell the meeting how I felt in my team and suggesting that I be moved. Using the opportunity to say it all to all of the right people at the same time. I took a risk basically and now my lawyer friend is saying "they will probably" try to get rid of you now". As you can imagine, I am now frantic that I have completely cocked everything up/said too much etc. But I was just asserting myself.
Boss is livid that I have exposed her and is picking at me more. Now I feel that Ive made it all worse.
SallyG
Sally:
1. Keep a record of what your boss is doing now - and maybe email it on a daily basis to HR and the Union (so its in writing).
2. Go back to HR and Union and demand some action on their part. Asking to be moved would be a good one. Don't let this situation drag out - if you can get a Dr's note saying how bad it has been for your recovery and return to work, maybe that will shift them into action more quickly.
3. Asserting yourself is good so don't second guess your actions. If you hadn't asserted yourself, the horrible dynamic you were in may have continued to the detriment of your health. Now it's out in the open. Your boss doesn't like it - but that's her problem, not yours (keep reminding yourself of that - you are not responsible for her reactions or her behaviour).
4. In difficult situations, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better - and it sounds like that is where you are at the moment. Take as much time as you can outside of work to nourish yourself if you're not able to step away from this work situation even temporarily.
Sending lots of hugs. You are not a second class citizen in this - your boss is behaving unprofessionally, not you.
xxxxx