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[SallyG]

Dear Women who get it,

I am writing this post because you seem like the only ones interested in my little lot and relate it to the menopause, which it is. My line manager has decided to use my phased return as an opportunity to
criticise my work practices. I have complained and provided evidence in my back to work meeting with HR and my big boss. LM is now really naffed off and called my comments vicious where in fact it was just the reality of what was happening. I now feel in free fall and it feels as though my future is looking precarious.And all I have done is try to speak the truth about what is going on on my team and how it isn't working for me. And somehow that is reviled as 'vicious'. My husband is sick of hearing about it.
I feel like Im in some sort of Kafka-esque nightmare. I am very stressed and my heads in a muddle, making it hard for me to focus.
It really feels like life is not worth living and my whole future is in tatters.Inner dialogue is about not being able to work again or being sectioned, everyone leaving me etc. I then just think I might as well just end it all or jump off a high building at work to make some kind of statement. Help! SalG

[Taz2]

Hi SalG. No job is worth going through this! I'm not sure why you have been off sick and need a phased return - sorry haven't got time to read back through the posts.

Taz x

[honeybun]

I agree with Taz. No job is worth this.

Resign, regroup and then find something different that you enjoy. There is no point in going through this misery every day.

 


Honeyb
x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Nothing is worth this. No job at all. I would resign and either take some time out to recoup or look for something totally undemanding for a while.

I KNOW how ill and distraught meno symptoms can make you feel. I spent 16 months feeling scared and anxious most days and everything felt overwhelming. I genuinely thought I was going mad at times.

Unless you have experienced it other people will never understand. Please think about leaving and trying something else instead x

[MrsMopp]

Can you go sick with stress then explain the situation to your GP?

Do you HAVE to work? Can you afford a break while you look for something else?

[Joyce]

Not worth it SallyG! Not the same, but many moons ago I returned to work in an office  after a break to have my kids. I was bullied by other female staff, one in particular was the ring leader. I left after 6 months as I was miserable.  Got another job.

[toffeecushion]

The job isn't worth it.  I would go sick for a while, using the time at home to reassess what you want to do and maybe look for a less demanding job for the time being until you feel stronger.

You can't put up with being treated like this.  Personally I would walk away with your head held high.  You tried, but some people will never understand how difficult this meno stuff can be and your line manager sounds like one of them.  They are the ones at fault and I wouldn't give them the benefit of knowing they were making things difficult for you.

You deserve better, take some time off to look after yourself.

I know how hard it can be to work along side the anxiety and everything else, I decided last week that I needed some time to myself before I cracked up completely and am now at home off sick for a couple of weeks.

[babyjane]

2 years ago  my husband was on the point of a breakdown with his job.  His GP signed him off with work related stress so doctors will be supportive.  Please speak to yours and tell him/her what you have told us.  You need support and we will give it but you also need hands on from the medical professional ie your family GP.

Keep visiting, keep posting, keep talking.  We can take all the rants and worries you want to share in the safety of this board.

If you prefer you can ask Emma to move the thread to the private section where only members can read and reply.  You might feel more secure there.

[Nemesis]

I think you need to leave, it's sounds like it isn't going to improve there and could make you sicker

[CLKD]

Been there, done that - but didn't jump.

NO JOB is worth being awake in the night for.  I fought tooth and nail to keep a job I enjoyed …….. but it almost cost me my marriage.  Hindsight and all that, in the same situation I would have told the Manager to 'stuff it' and walked - however DH and I worked in the same Company and I didn't know how that would impact on him, the main earner.  There were 2 jobs I ought to have walked from  ……..

Bullying in the workplace is illegal but Companies know how much mental stress this will cause so it is rarely tackled.  You need to care for you FIRST! the mentality of Companies isn't to 'care' for their employees and unless the Team is very tight and turns on the LM, you will get no-where.

Clear your desk.  Make a Copy of your Contract of Employment, CV etc. then meet with the supportive Members of the Team and explain that you will no longer put up with being bullied.  That you are going and you are going now.  If threats are made about breaking Contract then that will show how the wind blows.  Go to your GP and ask to be supported during this time so it is in your Medical records.

 

[babyjane]

Are you member of a worker's union?

[Grumpymum]

I really feel for you. Years ago I was pushed into a nervous breakdown by work and have never fully recovered from that. Now in meno, I know I couldn't hold down a pressured job. I'm lucky to work part time for my husband. In your shoes I would see your GP asap and get signed off so you can take stock. But as others have said, no job is worth it. Leaving that job was the best thing for my sanity; it might be for you too. Take time and take care of yourself. x

[Greyhoundgal]

Nothing to add but to echo what the other are saying - leave with your head held high and get your GP onside. 

[Ju Ju]

 

Good advice here. 1st stop GP.

You are already feeling fragile and less able to cope with stress or bullying, not that you should have to.

When my husband returned to work after 6months off with stress, he had been moved from a supportive environment to a highly stressful job elsewhere. Unbelievable! He was eventually replaced by 2 people!

Don't feel this is weakness! It is a normal reaction to a difficult situation. DH's advice would be look after yourself. Oh and his experience has made him into a stronger, kinder person, but it takes time and support to heal. Talk to your GP and anyone you can trust, who is supportive so you can figure what to do next. Keep us informed.

[CLKD]

I had to mourn the job which took ages.