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[sidse]

Morning all,
I am having a run of rough days at the moment. Things have hotted up at work and my mind has gone in to overdrive. My usual strategies are just not working - breathing, tying to put things in perspective etc. I took one and a half z pills last night and slept for just 3 hours. I didn't even have to get up this morning but here I am.
Need to find some sleep.

[annettanagle]

Hi Sidse,

Sounds like you are having a bad time. I find not sleeping the worst thing to cope with. I take anti histamine's which seem to help a bit. I was having hot flushes all day and night but have been taking Sage and Dandelion for two weeks now and they have pretty much stopped. Will you go down the HRT route? I can't as I have had breast cancer. I was having awful anxiety/ panicking but I tried changing my diet completely 7 weeks ago and it seems to have helped. I cut out sugar, bread, pasta any junk and I feel so much better, very level compared to before. I exercise 3-4 times a week which helps a lot. These are probably things you have already tried as I don't know your history. I hope you manage to get some sleep. 

Annetta xx

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM anneN and sidse
Do tell us more about yourselves - are you peri meno, your age etc.  - this really helps us to support you better. Do read up all the in of on this site and browse through some of the threads to see if you find some answers.
I had an early menopause and have had to use HRT on and off for many years and though I find there are compromises with using HRT I still function better when on it - lack of sleep being my worst symptom when not on HRT.

sidse - HRt could well be worth considering???.

anneN - it is particularly tough if you have had breast cancer so HRT is not an option, however many women find that SRRIs can help with flushes, sleep and mood.  You are clearly doing all the right things regarding diet etc. which is fab. I recently saw a top gynae for advice before going back on HRT and he recommended a SRRI called Citalopram if my next try of HRT didn't suit me.  His wife had had breast cancer and Citalopram had really helped her cope.  I also have a colleague at to work who uses HRt and citalopram together. 
Sadly very few of us have found that herbs and other remedies really work.  DG x

[SueRoe]

sidse, I started on 10mg Citalopram (a low dose) 5 days ago and slept better the last 2 nights. Citalopram helps with anxiety and depression so it might help you settle your racing mind and get some sleep . It doesn't have to be for ever after all - you can just take it for a while to get you through a bad patch.

[sidse]

Thank you all. I am 53 and a half and my last period was in February and before that I had one in September. I am hoping to go down the HRT route, after having tried the herbal stuff which has worked but is really not any more. I may decide to take an anti depressant too, if I can start the two together? My job is in education but I am a 0 hours contract - so no sick pay which is an added pressure. There are contracts coming up which I've been waiting for for ages but now they have come along, I don't feel that I can step up. Can't win! My other half had a heart attack before Christmas - he did little damage to his heart but has only just got back to work on a phased return. Our relationship is awful and is not helped by all this hormonal stuff.

[SueRoe]

sidse, I'm not surprised you're mind is buzzing and you can't sleep with all that on your plate! The feeling of having lots to deal with and no way out is horrible. Can you afford to get away for a night (tomorrow?) on your own somewhere quiet ? A B&B somewhere peaceful, a friend or daughter you could stay with, so that you have uninterrupted time to yourself to maybe think about what you need to do for the sake of your health? Living with an "awful" relationship must be dreadful for you - do you know what you'd like to do about it and what is actually feasible? An antidepressant and/or HRT might help you to feel better so that you can think about what to do about your work and relationship (though both medications take time to work). Do tell your GP the whole story won't you? I hope he/she is good and can help you start to feel better. Big Hug. 

[sidse]

Thank you Freda. I managed about four hours sleep last night, not so much because of a racing mind but because I had the most awful headache and knew that if I took a painkiller, I would be sick. I have spent most of today trying to relax and have been drinking Camomile tea - don't really like it but it is helping. I have also had help from a friend who worked with me on a letter to my boss about a professional issue which had been upsetting me too.
I think that I have finally got through to my partner that he needs to start thinking for himself and stop asking me so many questions about anything and everything - world peace, how long to cook things, the price of fish, as I feel too overwhelmed. Have told him before in lots of different ways but I think that he may have actually heard today. He has been supplying me with the cam tea and porridge.
My docs app is on Wednesday and I haven't yet become clear about what I am going to say. My issues are - really bad night sweats that wake me up, a frozen shoulder which is now much better but still causes me problems, like last night. Very intense mood swings which remind me of PMS and going from brain fog to being very focussed but can't find a happy medium, also very PMS. Know there will be people who can help me decide what to do. Btw, I do feel like I am about to have a period - my last one was in Feb and Sept before that.

[Sausage]

I am also in education but self employed, so me too - no sick pay. I had to cancel a load of lessons last week so I lost out on pay.  Teaching on a few hours sleep is painful

I can totally relate to the symptoms you are having but cannot give any sage advice I'm afraid. Just wanted to say sorry to hear you are suffering and please update us on your GP visit. Last week I went to see my doctor and actually wrote out everything I wanted to say in a note book which I took with me as my foggy mind couldn't even remember my own name.

All the best

[CLKD]

Make a list to work with - give it to your GP and suggest he skims through and takes the most important issue and if necessary, make a longer appt. for more discussion.  Or if your Practice has a Nurse that might be more relaxing?

Having had breast disease doesn't always rule out HRT.  Quality of Life is important and more recent Studies are more relaxed about treatments.  Have a browse, menus, top of screen.  Make notes 

Keeping a mood/food diary can help see the wood for the trees. 

  ask away!  There's usually someone here.

[sidse]

Not great is it sausage. I have always been told that I am not allowed to be self employed. Still, I have a lot of freedom. Good idea about the notebook, a new brain would be really good too. I will try and let you know re GP visit.
 CLKD, my practice nurse, sadly, is the last person that I would want to see, she scares me! Not really, but she is not a skilled user of a speculum if you know what I'm saying and she tends to want to give me a bit of a lecture. I don't have breast disease( I think) I did a bit in my 20s and I was told to stop the coffee which I did and it went away. Is there any way of making a period come on? Thinking Raspberry tea... jumping up and down.... that sort of thing. I know that I would feel better if it would just start.

[Dancinggirl]

sidse - do write out your symptoms and questions before going to the GP - I find this really helps me to focus and the appointment can have some structure.  I often hand it to the doctor to read as I get so nervous and tongue tied. It does sound as though you are peri meno and if you want to try HRT then ask the question directly  as it should be an option for you may well settle you down more than anything. Don't let them fob you off with one of the old fashioned HTRs like Prempak - many women do very well of Femoston Sequi 1/10 in early peri meno as the progesterone is kinder. 
Let us know how you get on.   DG x

[CLKD]

Anyone can be self employed ……… 

I don't understand :  "I don't have breast disease( I think) I did a bit in my 20s and I was told to stop the coffee which I did and it went away. " 

How has your weekend been? More relaxed?

[sidse]

Not sure what your saying CKLD...bit muddled. I have had lots of breast tenderness but as far as I know it wasn't breast disease. Did I misunderstand? Did you mean that you had breast disease?
I feel a bit more settled but still only a few hours sleep.
I have definitely been told that I can't be self- employed but I have always suspected otherwise....

[Dancinggirl]

Anyone can be Self Employed - I'm not sure if you are allowed to do tutoring if you are working in the state sector? 
I'm not a teacher but when I did some Learning support in schools I still did some freelance work at weekends in a shop. I do employed work and some Self Employed work as well. The only problem with doing Self Employed work is that you have to do a Tax Return declaring your income from self employment - I have always used an accountant but many people do their Returns online themselves.  The important thing to remember if you do any Self Employed work is to keep any receipts that relate to that work as they are tax deductible. If you do some teaching in your home then part of your household bills can go off against tax as you are using your home for this business which many people do these days. If you use your car to teach pupils in their homes than part of your car expenses would be tax deductible. Essentially you are running your own little business which many women are doing these days.
RE 'breast disease' - aching or tender breasts don't count as a disease as this is usually down to hormones - I think the breast disease being referred to is breast cancer - hopefully you haven't had this. 
Good luck at the GPs - go well prepared and print stuff off from this site if need be to show the doctor. DG x

[Hurdity]

Fibrocystic breast disease refers to lumpy painful breasts that can cause cysts and lumps called "fibroadenomas" which are non cancerous. I had fibroadenosis and a fibroadenoma lump as well as a milk cyst. I didn't know this was referred to as breast disease though! I also got lots of mastitis when feeding the sproglets, due to this.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Breast-lump/Pages/Causes.aspx

Hurdity x