Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[honeybun]

Not sure that it's a breakdown in the conventional sense. It was triggered by childbirth so was hormonal.

But bear in mind, you recovered from that hormonal experience so you will move on from this.


Honeybun
X

[Greenfields]

Done Greenfields.

Honeybun
X

Thankyou!

[CLKD]

The medical fraternity don't consider it to be a 'breakdown' unless the sufferer is hospitalised  but I know what I had  !

You will need to have a CRB check though if you are working with adults/children and vulnerable people, so do ring round a few residential homes and ask what their criteria is. 

Be kind to yourself!

[oldsheep]

sounds like you have an awful lot to worry about, which would trigger fatigue. I also lived for a few years wondering if I was staying or moving back to another country (in the end I didn't) and having a foot in 2 camps can be very unsettling = more fatigue.
I really do feel for you. I hope you find something to do that you enjoy doing, even if it's only for a few hours a day or week.
Very best of luck.

[Greenfields]

Thanks for these thoughts.  I saw a therapist today who encouraged me to apply for work locally and to tell potential employers that I had a trip to Canada booked later this summer - so then I have the option of making a visit if I'm up to it, but if I'm not, then I have work locally.  Plus, if I do go, and then decide I can't face moving back, then I have local work to come back to.  I just hope there will be an employer interested in me ...

The issue that I find very very stressful - apart from the idea of starting over with employment etc - is housing.  I can't stay where I am longterm without reducing my savings further.  So I will have to move and rent a room again .... and I seem to attract really poor landlords as I've had a number of them where they want the cash but not the tenant and don't want to turn up the heating ... its so stressful.  Plus even renting a room is tough in terms of saving money if you're not earning much ... and longterm I worry as to what will happen when I reach retirement age if I haven't got property in the UK - its very scary.  I know I can't look too far ahead and I try really hard not to but still its at the back of my mind.  I'll also have to get rid of more stuff again in order to squeeze into a room rental    

[CLKD]

It really is hard work finding good accommodation.  Would it be easier/cheaper to go B&B long-term, neighbours here offer students long-term B&B …… as well as in the holiday season. 

There is also a scheme : guardianship : where people live in empty properties in order to keep them from being squatted in …… but one only gets 2 weeks 'notice' …….. i.e. Hotels, old Pubs. etc..

Tweak your CV maybe?

[SallyG]

Hello Greenfields,
I totally understand your frustration at the seeming slowness of your recovery. I was in that place for nearly the whole period of my illness/breakdown/hormone depletion/whatever it was. All it did was make me iller and prolong the process
Things that helped me: people saying. Accept it: it is what it is: it takes the time it takes: acceptance: things happen for a reason: its your bodies way of telling you to slow down.
Please be patient with yourself…it takes the time it takes. It really has not been that long honestly. Being ill is not a crime. You are just trying to heal……..You sound like a proactive person so it is extra frustrating for you to have to be still with this and go with it. But your insides must connect with your outsides. Hope that makes sense.

Hugs Sallyxxxx

[Greenfields]

Hello Greenfields,
I totally understand your frustration at the seeming slowness of your recovery. I was in that place for nearly the whole period of my illness/breakdown/hormone depletion/whatever it was. All it did was make me iller and prolong the process
Things that helped me: people saying. Accept it: it is what it is: it takes the time it takes: acceptance: things happen for a reason: its your bodies way of telling you to slow down.
Please be patient with yourself…it takes the time it takes. It really has not been that long honestly. Being ill is not a crime. You are just trying to heal……..You sound like a proactive person so it is extra frustrating for you to have to be still with this and go with it. But your insides must connect with your outsides. Hope that makes sense.

Hugs Sallyxxxx

Thank you so much Sally - yes I think part of me is still very much in shock at what has happened and I can't quite believe the position I find myself in.  That said, I feel a lot better than I did and part of me feels very much ready to work - and I need to financially!  But acceptance is definitely key and its been a long time coming for me.  I think part of it for me is also wondering whether I will have the professional career I envisaged or whether that has gone now and I have to accept something smaller and be much poorer as a result ... it's hard.

[GeordieGirl]

.  I can't stay where I am longterm without reducing my savings further.

Have you looked to see if you can put some of your savings in a pension fund so that it brings you under the threshhold for housing benefit?  Worth considering, a financial adviser would be able to tell you what is and isn't feasible and what / when this could be released and the terms.

Just a thought!
GG x

[Night_Owl]

Hi Greenfield - sorry to read about your situation, you sound very motivated and proactive in difficult circumstances.  Following on from GG's post - Are you eligible for Job Seekers Allowance or Employment Support Allowance?  Think the process is that you have to be in receipt of one of these in order to then apply for Housing Benefit / Council Tax Relief.  Just thinking ahead.

[Greenfields]

.  I can't stay where I am longterm without reducing my savings further.

Have you looked to see if you can put some of your savings in a pension fund so that it brings you under the threshhold for housing benefit?  Worth considering, a financial adviser would be able to tell you what is and isn't feasible and what / when this could be released and the terms.

Just a thought!
GG x

Was at the CAB today and have another appointment tomorrow but there are all sorts of complicated rules - if, for eg, such an action might be seen as somehow protecting my savings in order to access benefits ... so not sure whether its possible - but am trying to find out.

[Greenfields]

Hi Greenfield - sorry to read about your situation, you sound very motivated and proactive in difficult circumstances.  Following on from GG's post - Are you eligible for Job Seekers Allowance or Employment Support Allowance?  Think the process is that you have to be in receipt of one of these in order to then apply for Housing Benefit / Council Tax Relief.  Just thinking ahead.

RE: ESA and Job Seekers - Nope don't think so ... and the current system is so byzantine that I don't even want to begin to attempt it - but last time I tried, I was put through so many hoops in terms of rules around applying for so many jobs a week etc ... which I'm really not up to doing at the moment.  I also left my last job voluntarily as I was moving back to Canada ... so that will count against me too.  Plus I'm still waiting for my PIP form - but even that I don't think I will get as I have not been in the UK 2 out of the last 3 years (that's a new rule that was snuck in when disability living allowance switched to PIP apparently).