I get these intrusive thoughts too. For me they usually happen when I first wake up, but will also happen during the day if I allow myself to dwell on them. I don't know if it's menopause related because I'm on HRT and for everything else it's working very well, but lately I've just been having this overall feeling of anxiety and depression.
Maybe for me it's just that I'm going through an enormous change in my life. My mother recently passed away, which in itself isn't the problem, but I gave up work because of the inheritance money. I've always dreamed of the day when I could "retire", but now that it's here it's not what I thought it would be.
What do you do with all this spare time? When I think that there is a very good chance that I could live for another 40 years (I'm 56 and a lot of my family live into their 90s) I become depressed and overwhelmed thinking "what the f*** am I going to do with the next 40 years". I'm trying to find different things to take an interest in, or maybe different groups to join, but nothing really inspires me, and a lot of groups for "retired" people have a much older demographic than me. It's a complete shock that I'm reacting this way. I was always the sort of person that enjoyed my own company, but now I find that I'm starting to dislike it.
All her life my mother suffered from a depressive "woe is me" personality and I'm really worried I'm now starting to take after her and that scares me, because I've always been the total opposite of her, and a very positive person who was very contented with my life.
Normally in the past I was quite happy to come home to just my two cats, but now whenever I look around me everyone I know has someone else in their life - whether it be a partner or children or friends who invite them to things. I've got friends, but I always get frustrated that I always have to do the inviting. Very rarely do they invite me anywhere - which is just adding to my "woe is me" thing.
Sigh - grumble over....