Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[getting_old]

Ever since starting my periods I have absolutely dreaded that time of the month, having suffered upset stomachs, horrific cramps, lethargy, gas, bloating, and more recently very heavy bleeding. I had a few years respite whilst on the pill but had to stop after suffering from breakthrough bleeding. For this reason I was actually looking forward to hitting the menopause as I rather naively assumed that the periods would end and a couple of hot flushes would be negligible in comparison. Then, after wondering if that time was now approaching, I started researching and now I'm absolutely terrified. I can't believe that I got it so very wrong!!! I just feel so bad for my husband as I've ruined so many things by being ill over the years and now it seems like he has even worse to come.

I know that everyone's different, but are painful periods an indication of a bad menopause? Is a bad menopause hereditary? My mother's periods were pain free and she appeared to sail through the menopause, although I do recall some severe mood swings when she was around 50, but she would never admit it.

Oh, I'm 49 and my periods have always been erratic however in the last 2 years they have been more erratic and definitely heavier. I hardly sleep, keep needing to wee, and tend to get hot in bed - that's probably gone on since we moved into our current house 4 years ago.

Sorry, that's so disjointed and confusing. I know that I need to read about the menopause and learn what I should / shouldn't do, but at the same time I'm scared to. Ignorance really was bliss!!!

[Dorothy]

Hello & welcome!  So sorry to hear you have had such an awful time so far and are now even more worried about the future!  Do remember that this forum will give you a limited view of the menopause.  Those women who sail through it with no problems are unlikely to feel the need of a help forum!  So those who post here are likely to be those who experience extra difficulty...it doesn't mean every menopause is like this. 

Also, many of the symptoms don't last forever and there are lots of things you can do to help.  Why don't you make yourself aware of the help that is available, so that you are prepared if you do experience difficulties.  But bear in mind you may not.  I have a couple of friends who were really pleased to reach the menopause, as they found it much easier to deal with than the period problems they had previously experienced.  So bad periods don't always mean a difficult menopause.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM getting_old
I wouldn't look for problems - we are all different and there doesn't seem to be any pattern or trend that indicates how our menopause will progress. There women on her who have had a very easy time with periods etc - no pain and always regular - and then they hit menopause and get every symptoms under the sun.  Like you I had a dread time with period pain etc. but then suffered a premature meno in my 30s so had to have HRT.
Should you get real problems there is treatment and this site will really help you.
If you are getting heavy periods then you could consider ad Mirena which would control and prossible stop the period and then introduce some oestrogen in Gel or patch form to help with the flushes.  It does sound as though you are in peri meno so it could be worth having some HRT now.  DG x

[CLKD]

   HORMONES     - I had heavy painful, awful periods until I went on The Pill at aged 16 - for 11 years.  Then I was sterilised followed by bad PMT.  I was advised by NAPS to eat every 3 hours to ease any sudden feelings of hunger which certainly helped.

There is medication that can ease long heavy periods or as suggested, the Mirena might help you.  Have a browse of the menus, top of screen and make notes. 

Menopause is when a lady hasn't experienced a period for 18-24 months.  My bleeds became intermittent for 2/3 years but I didn't notice as I was dealing with 4 very ill pets.  Fortunately I haven't had too much in the way of 'symptoms' - any flushes were immediately after taking my evening meds. (AD and beta-blocka) following my bath - I would be drenched all down my back  .  After that stopped my skin was itchy and the insteps of both feet continue to itch when I'm in the bath - never during the day but after socks are removed and my feet hit the water …..

I did develop urine 'infections' but these turned out to be the start of Vaginal atrophy - we have threads on that here too!  so having treatment may ease your need to wee a lot! 

Have a chat with your husband.  You may think you have 'ruined' things but he may not see it that way at all! he may not even remember those events! (mine certainly doesn't).  There is a page here especially for husbands  to print off and hand over 

[getting_old]

Oh no - I just read what I wrote about "a couple of hot flushes". I really, really hope I haven't offended anyone because I didn't mean it that way. I was just trying to show how utterly ignorant of all things menopause I was, actually still am.

Thank you for the welcome and your thoughts. There's some great information on the forum - I'm currently working my way through it. I've found the info for husbands - just printing it off now . I've tried apologising to my husband many times over the years - he's always been so understanding and never complained, but I still feel guilty.

I just mentioned to him that I thought some of the things I'd been experienced could be related to the menopause and he said he had been wondering if that could be the case, but I'm guessing he didn't want to mention it!

[Sausage]

Also, many of the symptoms don't last forever

Please say that again!

I remember a woman I used to work with telling me she felt marvellous after the menopause - like her old self...HOPE SO!

[CLKD]

Lucky she can remember that far back 

[babyjane]

I find it to be true.  when I think back to how horrible I felt 5 years ago I feel much better a lot of the time now.  I still have days (and nights) when I wonder if it will ever end but on the whole things have improved slowly and steadily 

[CLKD]

Which is why I kept a journal - I could at least see that I did survive the last awful day 

[Limpy]

I've found the info for husbands - just printing it off now . I've tried apologising to my husband many times over the years - he's always been so understanding and never complained, but I still feel guilty.

I just mentioned to him that I thought some of the things I'd been experienced could be related to the menopause and he said he had been wondering if that could be the case, but I'm guessing he didn't want to mention it!

The info for husbands is excellent, wish I'd known about it..........
Mind you, it never occurred to me I was anywhere near meno 
OH mentioned it, tentatively, but I shouted him down 

It's only taken several years, oh, and finding this forum for normality to re-emerge again