Greenfields
I feel for you, i struggle with nausea too. Try and eat a little or the nausea won't subside. I keep protein shakes in the fridge for my bad days, it helps to sip them and have something on my stomach. Breadsticks, rich tea biscuits, porridge all easy on wobbly tummy.
Do you have anyone to chat to at home about what's happening in your life?
Can you make plans to help ease your mind about the future? Is there anyone you could stay with if you lose your home or any alternative arrangements you can make? If you know you have a back up plan maybe it would ease your anxiety?
I take Citalopram 10mg for anxiety, Sertraline i tried and didn't like, and have some diazepam i can use for emergencies, which i rarely need but glad they're there.
Maybe you need a chat with your GP re some extra help for your anxiety, at least until things settle a little.
Big Hugs xxx
Thanks for the hugs - I need them! I made myself eat a late lunch of peanut butter and banana sandwiches as I felt so nauseous I couldn't eat till 2.30pm. Oh and I did make myself eat porridge this morning - it was just a struggle to eat it with the nausea but I did it.
I live by myself which is hard so no, I don't have anyone I can really chat to altho' I do go to local mental health support groups as well as going to the sports centre for regular exercise. I spent this morning at a Quakers meeting as well - so I do get out and about and connect with people but I don't have people in my life who would step in and put me up in a room - so it's really hard not to worry at times about the future.
I self referred to a mental health agency in case my landlord tries to evict me in September if I'm not well enough to move but my support worker has told me that with the level of savings I have, the council will not view me as homeless - however I know I will struggle to get a room (never mind another flat) in the area I'm in if I'm not working and I'm ill - even if I do have enough savings to pay rent for another year. There is a huge shortage of accommodation where I live. The support worker is going to help me register for council/housing association housing but given the wait lists and the way it operates now (you have to bid regularly on property and the highest bidder gets the place) I don't think I stand much chance of getting anything for years unless my health worsens significantly.
People say to me why don't you move North? - conveniently forgetting that I don't have the emotional resources or health at the moment to move North and moving is stressful at the best of times so moving when one is ill - especially as I've found a nice Dr to help me in the area I live in - is the last thing I'm up to at the moment. Plus there's the question mark of getting a place without having a job. As well as getting a job long term. My tenancy is up for renewal mid-September so I'm really hoping that by mid-August I will be well enough to figure things out as that is when the current landlord will want to sort things out with the tenancy agreement.
I haven't got any other support to fall back on in terms of a home - so it will be the local homeless shelter for me if I lose my flat and I'm not well enough to move to Canada - I'm hoping it doesn't come to that though.
I am scheduled to see a therapist on June 8th which I'm looking forward to the support of - she comes recommended and I hope she helps because I went to see another therapist and paid 150 pounds for 3 sessions only for her to tell me she couldn't help me!
The new therapist I see is also a psychiatrist which is reassuring but it will cost me 50 pounds a time.
It would be lovely to have a secure Plan B as it would relieve a lot of anxiety for me - but unfortunately the only Plan B I can come up with at the moment is to get as well as I possibly can and then get myself on to a plane to Canada where I can at least rent affordable accommodation for a while while I'm sick which won't cost as much as it costs here and where renting is easier. But I do worry that the stress of the move will trigger another nervous breakdown and I really don't want to end up in the psych system in Canada - particularly as the benefits and housing support offered are a lot less there than they are here in the UK. As well, I really need to get work out there too - and the 0 hours contract culture is rampant there - so I will have to be well enough to do at least 2 p/t jobs as it's really hard getting work.
(Not that I qualify for any UK benefits at the moment anyway - even PIP you have to have been in the UK 2 out of the last 3 years - which I haven't been - And my savings take me over being eligible for any other benefits).
I think I'm basically stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment although I constantly remind myself that I have savings and I haven't exhausted them yet - so that's a blessing.
I have thought about getting some p/t work locally to see whether I can manage it but, given that I want to try and take a trip back to Canada in July, I know if I start work in say the next couple of weeks, it will be difficult to then ask for time off in July! As well, because I have days where I'm fine and then days where I'm not so good, it's difficult to judge at which point I'm safe (for want of a better expression) to pick up work and to know that I would stay healthy while doing it. And as moving back to Canada will be stressful, at the moment, I'm just focusing on trying to get as well as I can - it's about 9 weeks now since I had my breakdown so I think I'm doing pretty well with recovery but it's hard to tell. I still get very overwhelmed at times and I cannot listen to the radio much or read the news much.
I've been also wondering whether the nausea I've been experiencing today is related to the fact that I barely slept last night despite doing exercise yesterday. I don't know why - whether it was the epsom salts bath I took (altho' it only had 3 tbsp in it!) or writing an email to a professor in Canada requesting some help with my reapplication for my masters next year or damaging my car paintwork yesterday (running into a bollard). Or it could be perimenopausal anxiety and nausea!
Can you tell me how you found the Citalopram? That is an AD I have thought about taking but when I looked online, the side effects listed were very similar to Sertraline - and that scared me. I do think I will need to take something for a while if and when I move back to Canada - although, again, in Canada I will have to pay more for the drugs as they don't have the same drug coverage as here unless you have a good job with benefits - and there aren't a lot of those around these days unfortunately.