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[dogdoc]

As I've been going through this awesome time in life the question always arises: "HOW MUCH LONGER". The answer is always..'it varies from woman to woman'. True enough but as I go along I notice I am going through a distinct set of symptoms that change the longer it goes on.

Thinking back in time, I'm guessing I've been having some hormonal upheaval for about 6 years ( give or take) and initially the symptoms were so not obvious that it wasn't until they hit big time, that I looked back at that time and went "aha"..that was the start.

So for me the transition so far has been:
STAGE 1) worsening of PMS symtpoms ( never had them before) until the point it seemed I was having PMS for 7-10 days every month. This occurred with an occasional off-timing. Enough that I took a pregnancy test a few times despite the fact hubby is snipped.
This stage lasted about 2-3 years I'm guessing.

STAGE 2 (AKA things start getting bad) Mood swings and irritability kicked in, combined with headache that never really went away, general aches and pains in joints and muscles. Heavier periods and PMS. Lasted about 1 year. Periods starting to become a little more irregular, but generally closer together.

STAGE3) Headaches worsening and panic attacks and general anxiety. Periods out of control!! Heavy and frequent with clots. Pretty sure I'm dying and actual feel like I'm going insane. They will need to lock me away or sedate me. I will never get out of this alive. Ants crawling under skin. head rushes and buzzing and tingling and weirdness everywhere. Chest pains and muscle spasms. SOOO exhausted.
Hair starts falling out and skin ages overnight.

STAGE 4) Periods getting longer apart 35-36 days and still heavy. Occasional period that never really gets going. Less panic and less anxiety, but now insomnia, vaginal dryness, peeing when I sneeze, more hair loss etc. Still mood swings.

Seems like distinct changes along a distinct progression of hormonal upheaval ( and eventual loss). So my question is ( for the ladies that are through it)...did you have distinct changes that you can remember? Did you have one set of symptoms earlier on, and another set further into the process?
I know there's no crystal ball...but boy would I ever like to think I'm nearer the end now than the beginning. LOL 

[CLKD]

I was lucky.  Very painful, heavy periods for years = The Pill for 11 years from age 16.
Sterilised eventually.
3 years later developed PMS - advised by the national association for pre-menstrual tension (NAPS) to eat every 3 hours 24/7. That took some remembering as when well I forgot 
Periods regular every 32-34 days.

Fortunately no severe peri-meno symptoms and apart from vaginal atrophy 12 months ago, nothing that requires medical intervention PHEW!

[dogdoc]

Now I'm just jealous. Lol.

[Briony]

You've summed this up so well - think I could tick everything in stage three! A few other ones I could add are increased bust size (bit odd after a lifetime of being flat chested!) and tummy issues (not just it getting bigger ... but also nausea and heartburn).

Wish we educated people better about what to expect. Once people realised that it was 'just' my hormones and not some serious illness, sympathy disappeared and even my own mother gives me the impression she just thinks I need to pull myself together.  My boss, same age, thinks she's menopausal and is breezing through it. Just makes me feel pathetic in comparison, even though I know, being realistic, she isn't suffering in the same way as me.

Cant believe I have gone from being such a fit, busy, confident person to a shadow of my former self, constantly worrying about what weird feelings or symptoms today might bring. To be fair, things have improved massively since I have been on the pill, but I still feel that the whole experience has changed me. Do you know what I mean?
 - I wonder if you ever find the 'old you'? Or is it more about finding positives in the new you?

[jedigirl]

dogdoc
Interesting post.
Looking back I can see symptoms starting as long ago as 5 years but only past year have I feel like a mad woman with new symptoms every week.
I think I'm a mix of your stage 3 and 4! Last summer I seriously questioned my sanity and was convinced I wouldn't make Christmas. I have no idea what my periods are doing, my skin is crepey and hanging, boobs empty but lumpy, eyes sunken!
If this goes on many years longer I dread to think what will be left of me.
A few of my friends are suffering too but none as severely. They can all sympathise with parts of my meno though so thats comforting.
Briony struggling to find positives in the new me!I'd walk past her in the street and think "Get yr roots done woman, and why are you wearing a huge coat in May!" xx

[Limpy]

My symptoms - anxiety and rattiness - started when I was 40 but as I was on the pill till I was 54 they were masked. I had no idea I was menopausal! I started getting hot flushes when I stopped the pill, then started HRT 6 months after I stopped the pill. That has helped a lot

[CLKD]

It's called 'the change' so unlikely that ladies will go back to 'themselves' 

[dogdoc]

Yes it's changed me. I will have post traumatic stress about this stage of life forever I think. I'm still really struggling but when I look back to last year I think I might be less severe. Maybe.

I read a book recently called 'the fifth decade'. It was written by a psychologist. Not bad. She describes 4 distinct  stages of perimenopause. I can't remember the first two.... I think emotional upset or something. But I distinctly remember the last two. Turbulence ( guess where most of us are) and quietude. I don't know about you guys but I could definitely use some quietude. Lol

[CLKD]

Turbulence - I had a friend who called it her tsunami  - she would suddenly feel sick and then vomit, almost without warning.  Usually when driving 

[Hurdity]

Hi dogdoc

In answer to your original question - I was in blissful ignorance about peri-menopause and stages so all the things that happened to me before I ever missed a period, passed me by (but that I mean I had no idea there was a reason for them) - like the mood swings, the sudden blubbing (I cried a lot!) and the dreadful pre-menstrual headaches - started getting migraines for the first time, heavy clotty periods etc I only realised I was becoming menopausal when I started missing periods - I hadn't read anything about it at all before that, and then started getting flushes etc. After missing a few and having a few months without and then the odd one, the flushes and sweats got so bad (I couldn't sleep nor function in my job) I went onto HRT - probably in the late menopausal transition so my last natural period was several months after the previous one, and 5 months after my last natural one I went onto HRT (at almost 54) - so no mood swings any more as I am well post-meno at 62!

Did you see this link I posted a few times a while back which outlnines some of the hormonal changes and distinct stages in the menopausal transition and the late reproductive phase ( ie when periods are still regular)?
In case you didn't see it - here it is again:
http://www.imsociety.org/downloads/email_downloads/2012_02_16_1773491/straw10.pdf

It does get better - but quietude? That's boring!!! Also a feature of post-menopause really - or perhaps late peri-menopause. I tell you I would love to have the surges of hormones that I used to have and the real highs that would occur during the cycle - which just don't happen any more - life is on an even keel - which is fine - but I just don't experience the same feelings of excitement any more and that is the biggest change - more than my ageing body, which I've got used to!

Hurdity x

[dogdoc]

Sparkle. Memory is shot. The brain fog ( which started at the beginning of stage 3) seems to be getting less. I actually got lost in the woods once walking my dog I had brain fog so bad. It was terrifying.
Now less fog and more memory lapses. I'd swear I had the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. People can be talking directly to me and sometimes I have to ask them to repeat themselves as it's just gone gone. Or someone will tell me something and it'll immediately leave my mind. Ask me to remember a phone number? Not likely

Hurdity I'm glad to hear it gets better. You must have thought you were losing your marbles when you went through peri not knowing what it was.  I think I'm losing my marbles a lot of the time and my rational mind KNOWS it's just hormones. But how many of us in the 'tsunami' think this is it!! This is my life forever!!

I'm starting with a lot more flashes ( flushes) and night sweats now. Lots of nausea ( very like morning sickness). I don't know where my periods are as I'm on hrt. I'd never skipped one prior to starting but they were starting to space out ... 35 days instead of the 20-25 days apart.  I'd be curious to know. But maybe not so curious I'd want to stop the hormones again lol.

Hmmmmmm.

[Meg]

Ongoing symptoms with me I am sorry to say.  Ten years of flushing, hot weather is very difficult to take.  Skin is so much drier and just recently has started to itch more!  Much, much more tired with far far less stamina.  Still experiencing anxiety a lot and crying with feelings of not as able to cope.  As said before it's like two different people from the old capable me, able to sleep, coping OK, more strength, laughing etc etc to this neurotic person. I was lucky that up till meno I never suffered feelings of depression.  I too am at a loss to know why some women seem to be less affected than others.  I have spoken to quite a few women just recently who are being prescribed SSRI's and wonder if this is the standard treatment now from GP's.  These women have urged me to try them but for me at present I have some misgivings.

Meg   

[Hurdity]

Meg - just wondering are you medically unable to take HRT? If so I sympathise! However if not - it is much better to replace deficient oestrogen which will deal with the cause as well as the symptoms than just address the symptoms with ADs/SSRIs. What is it with everyone and ADs?!!! They should not be the first line of treatment for hormonally induced anxiety - this is the view of gynaecologists. Pity the rest of the medical profession doesn't understand menopause sufficiently!  10 years - that's a long time to suffer... how old are you and how far into or post-meno are you?

Hurdity x

[Suzi Q]

As I've been going through this awesome time in life the question always arises: "HOW MUCH LONGER". The answer is always..'it varies from woman to woman'. True enough but as I go along I notice I am going through a distinct set of symptoms that change the longer it goes on.

Thinking back in time, I'm guessing I've been having some hormonal upheaval for about 6 years ( give or take) and initially the symptoms were so not obvious that it wasn't until they hit big time, that I looked back at that time and went "aha"..that was the start.

So for me the transition so far has been:
STAGE 1) worsening of PMS symtpoms ( never had them before) until the point it seemed I was having PMS for 7-10 days every month. This occurred with an occasional off-timing. Enough that I took a pregnancy test a few times despite the fact hubby is snipped.
This stage lasted about 2-3 years I'm guessing.

STAGE 2 (AKA things start getting bad) Mood swings and irritability kicked in, combined with headache that never really went away, general aches and pains in joints and muscles. Heavier periods and PMS. Lasted about 1 year. Periods starting to become a little more irregular, but generally closer together.

STAGE3) Headaches worsening and panic attacks and general anxiety. Periods out of control!! Heavy and frequent with clots. Pretty sure I'm dying and actual feel like I'm going insane. They will need to lock me away or sedate me. I will never get out of this alive. Ants crawling under skin. head rushes and buzzing and tingling and weirdness everywhere. Chest pains and muscle spasms. SOOO exhausted.
Hair starts falling out and skin ages overnight.

STAGE 4) Periods getting longer apart 35-36 days and still heavy. Occasional period that never really gets going. Less panic and less anxiety, but now insomnia, vaginal dryness, peeing when I sneeze, more hair loss etc. Still mood swings.

Seems like distinct changes along a distinct progression of hormonal upheaval ( and eventual loss). So my question is ( for the ladies that are through it)...did you have distinct changes that you can remember? Did you have one set of symptoms earlier on, and another set further into the process?
I know there's no crystal ball...but boy would I ever like to think I'm nearer the end now than the beginning. LOL 

Sorry to do it this way but Id forget.
OK my periods got longer apart (I was 37) always every 4th Sunday with out fail since 10
My first real thing was what I thought was a miscarriage and relaised Id not had a period for 3mnths
The a few months later the Dizzies hit It lasted 10mnths almost 24 hrs a day walkd like a drunk
Had tests said nothign was wrong I ended up on Stemital and Chrip came off dairy it worked for me
Knowone asked me about periods or tested for hormones they were looking for a Brain Tumour.
Then I got RAGES so angry all the time Then the sweats 25 in a morning I couldnt sleep
I was the Boss of 3 shops I was a nightmare took an older Yorkshire lady to explain what was happening
During this time I never bothered with GP untill 8 mnths after periods stopped I knew it was heredity
I was put on Ovestin and Mini pill it lasted for over 12 years (Gynest first) I was finanly went to GP
Cos My marriage was being affected badly and sex was impossible cos He couldnt get in too tight/dry
Even today I get internal rages I was never like this before I feel it building@its nearly always Saturday
My skin now after not having a period for almost 20 yrs is dry I use the Vaseline cocoa butter spray
It helps my face oddly isnt lined much at all I give Niveas greacy cream in the tin for that used since 12
Anxiety still happens my GP advised Beta Blocs for that NOT all the time JUST when it hits@they work
Sex drive nil for years now BUT I enjoy being ONE if u get my meaning@men dont know do they glthem
I went through the Im not good Im old knowone wants me Im old@ useless hubby could do better etc
Which of course is a LOAD of Cr.. in 2008 I developed Atrophy which is unbearable when it hits
Ovestin fell out my body wouldnt absorb it Mini pill? So after 8mnths of nagging by ladies on here
I returned to GP who gave me Vagifem which was almost a miracle ITS not a cure but for the downstairs
It enabled me to have sex easily to not be in throbbing pain dry red raw skin splitting
The worst symptom is your lady bits shrivelling in to your skin I almost look like a child down there.
I too dont have anything like as much hair under my arms and my hair is thinner Im careful with H.cuts
My lady bit is almost bald except for the landing area and bottom area but i keep them short and tidy
Keeping them as short as is possible I feel cleaner and more normal Bobbles says he feels no diff inside
So Ive evidently not got a prolapse? But If I want to wee I cant hold it long but the Vagifem sorted the
Peeing for Britain with Vagifem dont have that any more though If a heavily cough can have a slight!!!
With Vagifem and Betas as back up since 2010 Ive felt good Im never going to be like I was but who is
Its not called the Change for nothing BUT knowing whats happening which I didnt far better@able to live
i had help recog therapy and wonderful GP who didnt want to examine me every time who listened.
Who didnt think I was mad IT helps to have understanding family@even pals@who knows how they r ?
I could have and should have got help 20 years ago. I regret that very much. Most of what I went through probably would never have happened. So just understand your body go with it dont fight it.
Get help re ADs or Beta Blocas talk to GP ur family@freinds life gets better and for you better sooner.
You are in control see your GP for dryness ask for Vagifem tell them its affecting your life/marriage
Ask for help re anxitey mention Betas which are wonderful if ur getting palpitations.
Try to have fun try to do silly things like date nights u dont have to go out just nice dinner wine@Dvd
Or have pals around Saturday night for nibbles ask to bring a bottle put on Music or even a Comedy Dvd
I found being with OUR pals helped a lot kept me thinking about something else.
I found having my Grandson changed me a lot especially my focus. This saturday as my dinlaw was in
USA for work we picked him up and took him shopping yes I know sounds boring but he was a chick magnet Hes 16mnths old tall but thin masses of Blonde hair which is curly at the bottom (long YAYY)
Hes brilliant blue eyes like his Dad  and his Dad 3 generations all BLUE EYES@Jet blck eyeleashed
Women melt We had a day that was like a day when son was a toddler shopping for new curtains@rug
Took him to lunch where  staff were falling over themselves to get him a fresh fruit platter(we laughed)
We did the grocery shopping and before we knew son was texting saying HEY U 3 where r u?
Wed picked him up at 10 and didnt bring him back till 2pm and it was normal. Just a day not
Going to the beach with him or park just treating him and the day as any other and the Joy was fab
I promise it will get better it sounds like your well on the way BUT please get help re fears etc
KNOWONE should or needs to suffer. Sending cyber hugs Suzi Q x

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

My trusty meno book describes the symptom timetable as follows:-

Irregular menstrual cycle from age 42-58; Hot flushes, night sweats and emotional symptoms from age 42-60; Sleep disturbances from age 45-60; Intellectual and emotional (what again?) symptoms from age 45-early 60s; Dry skin from age 50; Urgent, frequent or uncomfortable urination from age 50; Back pain and possibly bone fractures from age 57; Palpitations and chest pain from age 55 and Prolapse from age 53.

Ah, Mother Nature, with a list like that don't you just love her!

Wishing you all well.

K.