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[Dandelion]

Thanks for all these posts - it really helps hearing others perspectives.

I think my main issue now is for my body to recover from my breakdown.  Exercise definitely helps with this although I'm mindful that going completely overboard would be too much!

I still wake in the mornings with a very dry mouth - so my nervous system isn't completely reset - I think there's too much cortisol or adrenalin racing around early on in the day.

I can interact with people a lot now but I find that if I have a very busy day chatting to people, I feel a bit exhausted the next day - so it's about pacing.

Two people who shared with me their experiences of breakdowns had different recovery times.  One took Prozac and was back at work at 6 weeks (she also saw a therapist weekly as well).  The other had a breakdown followed by an episode of psychosis - was briefly hospitalised and then took early retirement from her then career and spent a whole year not working before retraining to do something else.  Both individuals worked in the teaching profession and both retired on good pensions.  Unfortunately I mistimed my breakdown as I had it before I established a good career with a good pension and in the middle of moving countries to boot! 

I had my breakdown at the end of March and it's now the middle of May and I'm functioning a lot better but notice that my nervous system can go into overdrive very quickly.  That's why it's so difficult with respect to dealing with the uncertainty around my future - if I still had a place on the Masters course in Canada this Fall I would have some security around what I would be doing. 

Instead, if and when I'm able to go back to Canada, I face another year of uncertainty with respect to whether I can get on the course and also a lot of uncertainty around employment - which I find particularly scary.  However, given the housing crisis in the UK, if I stay here, I face the prospect of my savings (which are essentially my pension) diminishing within a year or so as I cannot afford the rents but do not qualify for housing benefit until my savings drop to around 16K.

However they do not have housing benefit in Canada!  So although the rents are cheaper at the moment and rental agreements are much more straightforward and secure, I need to be able to work at least 2 p/t jobs as the wages are low and f/t jobs are hard to come by.

The 0 hours contract culture that is present in the UK is much more rapacious in Canada.  For example, a friend told me recently that she left the company she had been working for p/t due to the fact that they brought in a rule that p/t workers had to be available to work from 7am to 11pm daily - but nobody was guaranteed their hours - so you literally didn't know from one week to the next what you would be doing but you couldn't take another p/t job because then you wouldn't be available to the company under their rules.

I did a casual job in Canada a while back and had to be available all the time but wasn't given very many hours - it was intensely stressful even though I was married at the time and my ex earned a good income.  And in that work, I damaged my arms with repetitive strain injury due to being asked to do a f/t workload in p/t hours.  When you are working such contracts, you become disposable.  My arms have never completely recovered from the injury and that has impacted my ability to hold down professional work.

I mention all this because exercise is definitely helping me deal with the stress but it doesn't remove it - add in the fact that my UK rental agreement is up for renewal in September and I have a very difficult landlord and I worry about being homeless - it's a lot to carry emotionally when you are recovering from a breakdown.  I have put in as much support in place as I can to help me (I'm now registered as a client with a social services agency so I have a support worker who can help me if my landlord is difficult with me in September).   

Having said all that, I try to stay optimistic and trust that things will work out.

Hi Greenfields,

Glad you have had some help from this post.

I know what you mean about being homeless.
Sometimes, I cannot leave the house, and cannot face people so it would be disasterous for me to be homeless.
I really hope you get what you want, whether it be secure accommodation here, or in Canada doing your masters.
I am glad you have got support from social services. I spoke to them but they said I am not eligible for support.
I have spoken to a few agencies who say they cannot help me.
I hope you can look into swimming and that ear/nose plugs work.

Just out of curiousity, what were the changes in the UK that gave you culture shock?
I have found it a tougher place to live in the last few years. It costs a lot more for everything, everyone is out to make money off you.
Also, I had much more help and support before things started deteriorating about 7years ago.

[Greenfields]

Just out of curiousity, what were the changes in the UK that gave you culture shock?

There is no class system in Canada - so coming back to that was a shock.

Also the housing situation - well I won't go on about that because we both know what it's like!  Horrendous is a good word to use!  I didn't recall it being as bad when I left although I was insulated as I was married then and co-owned a home.  But having rented in Canada - well coming back to the UK is like the dark ages with respect to renting.

Also huge inequality - it's present in Canada but not to the same degree in the UK in part because the Canadian housing market isn't a mess like UK - a third of people rent in Canada.

Also the right wing press here - Daily Mail etc - horrid!  You don't get that vitrol to the same degree in Canada.  The national newspapers are much more balanced.

Also Canada is immigrant friendly - I hate the anti-immigrant sentiment here.  It's misplaced - it should be directed at the government for not building adequate housing or investing in health services, schools etc adequately.  And if employers are employing immigrants on the cheap then the government should tighten up rules around employment and what people are paid - not blame immigrants.  Most immigrants are just trying to get by - they shouldn't be blamed if they are taken advantage of by employers.  Also, it's really hard being an immigrant and most people who haven't done it, don't realise what it's like to live in another culture.  In the UK when English people go abroad they're called expats - but really they are immigrants!  As well there is something really lovely about how Canadians celebrate other cultures - everybody celebrates everyone's celebrations!  It's so nice

Also the narrative around the poor here is horrid - again going back to the Daily Mail etc.

Also hate the cuts to the UK library services - am looking forward to experiencing Canadian libraries again - open long hours and they are brilliant.

It's easier being self employed in Canada as well which is actually quite nice - I did it for a bit but didn't earn enough.  But I'd like to have a business on the side again if I can - I learnt a lot from it.

Also loved the North American optimism and while I understand the downbeat British sense of humour, I can't bear the way people who are well off here moan about taxes etc.

Gotta go - but those are some of the things that come to mind!

BTW I'm pretty sure I'm going to move back to Canada!  But planning on a visit this summer to check and to sort out things - probably in July or August. 

[Dandelion]

Just out of curiousity, what were the changes in the UK that gave you culture shock?

There is no class system in Canada - so coming back to that was a shock.

Also the housing situation - well I won't go on about that because we both know what it's like!  Horrendous is a good word to use!  I didn't recall it being as bad when I left although I was insulated as I was married then and co-owned a home.  But having rented in Canada - well coming back to the UK is like the dark ages with respect to renting.

Also huge inequality - it's present in Canada but not to the same degree in the UK in part because the Canadian housing market isn't a mess like UK - a third of people rent in Canada.

Also the right wing press here - Daily Mail etc - horrid!  You don't get that vitrol to the same degree in Canada.  The national newspapers are much more balanced.

Also Canada is immigrant friendly - I hate the anti-immigrant sentiment here.  It's misplaced - it should be directed at the government for not building adequate housing or investing in health services, schools etc adequately.  And if employers are employing immigrants on the cheap then the government should tighten up rules around employment and what people are paid - not blame immigrants.  Most immigrants are just trying to get by - they shouldn't be blamed if they are taken advantage of by employers.  Also, it's really hard being an immigrant and most people who haven't done it, don't realise what it's like to live in another culture.  In the UK when English people go abroad they're called expats - but really they are immigrants!  As well there is something really lovely about how Canadians celebrate other cultures - everybody celebrates everyone's celebrations!  It's so nice

Also the narrative around the poor here is horrid - again going back to the Daily Mail etc.

Also hate the cuts to the UK library services - am looking forward to experiencing Canadian libraries again - open long hours and they are brilliant.

It's easier being self employed in Canada as well which is actually quite nice - I did it for a bit but didn't earn enough.  But I'd like to have a business on the side again if I can - I learnt a lot from it.

Also loved the North American optimism and while I understand the downbeat British sense of humour, I can't bear the way people who are well off here moan about taxes etc.

Gotta go - but those are some of the things that come to mind!

BTW I'm pretty sure I'm going to move back to Canada!  But planning on a visit this summer to check and to sort out things - probably in July or August.

Hi Greenfields

Thank you for posting that, it makes a lot of sense to me.
I agree with you re the immigrants.
The class system here, every one is 'better than' or 'worse than' someone else.
The cuts are too harsh, there will be nothing left, lots of vulnerable people in britain.
We are like pre-war nazi germany re the disabled.
I want out of this country but I feel trapped cos of my housing situation.
I really hope you do the right choice for you.

[honeybun]

I honestly think Scotland is different from what you describe.

Perhaps I am a bit naive but Scotland is a welcoming country and we don't have the class system that you describe. Maybe it's where I live ...but people are looked after. There are reasonable  health services and housing. It's not a Utopia but....Life is ok up here.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Scotland is great!  Down South we have the influence of the Aristocracy ……… huge properties with huge amounts of land, we also have a large population and less resources  .  I think some areas of the UK can be faceless in that there are so many people and Life is so rushed that time is lacking.

I have lived in Wales and didn't really 'suffer' any discrimination ………. there were a few jibes but they passed over my head 

I did find last week when exercising my bowels were completely different, in a better way …….. (note to self!)

[Dandelion]

I honestly think Scotland is different from what you describe.

Perhaps I am a bit naive but Scotland is a welcoming country and we don't have the class system that you describe. Maybe it's where I live ...but people are looked after. There are reasonable  health services and housing. It's not a Utopia but....Life is ok up here.


Honeybun
X

I think it's more England. Dunno about Wales and Ireland, but England is going right up it's own arse in some ways, class, me and mine, crap work, welfare victimisation, etc etc.