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[CLKD]

"As I am a homeowner, none of the support workers can help.  .. "  : support isn't connected to being a home owner.  I used NHS mental health facilities and had a Community Psychiatric Nurse, however, that support was cut under the Labour Government.  He wasn't a lot of use anyway, not his fault, he simply had no idea of how the phobia controlled my Life.  He'd read the book 

The MIND Charity will help.  Chatting to people in similar situations can be helpful.  On your 'better' days you may find that helping locally will give you a sense of purpose.  Do contact them to see what help they need.  Sometimes it helps to be with others in a like situation, however, I never found it so.  I wanted to be with people who could help with emotional support which I didn't get from my Mother.

I found making lists useful  ……

[Greenfields]

Aw Dandelion sending hugs your way.

Re: support groups - I know what you mean about the mornings - it can be challenging.  I'm lucky in someways I guess because there's a local church that runs 2 afternoon groups for people going through tough times and needing support with mental health.  I sometimes go to them when I'm having a rough day - the clients are always really kind and that's how I found out about a support agency that could help me.

Re: being a home owner and not getting support - did someone tell you you weren't entitled to any support because you own a house?  Only that doesn't sound right to me so I'm just wondering who told you that?  It might also be worth giving Shelter a call because they have a housing helpline and I've heard that they can be quite helpful - and as homes and homelessness is their major focus, you might get some more information.

I keep telling myself I'm going to get better because I can't face the alternative - I'm really scared where the 12 billion pounds worth of social service cuts are going to fall and having worked in social services myself, I know it's likely to be the poor and vulnerable that are going to be targeted.  So I try not to think about it too much (CBT - refocus thoughts, reframe to positive thoughts!).

Sending hugs xxx

[CLKD]

 

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on!

[Dandelion]

"As I am a homeowner, none of the support workers can help.  .. "  : support isn't connected to being a home owner.  I used NHS mental health facilities and had a Community Psychiatric Nurse, however, that support was cut under the Labour Government.  He wasn't a lot of use anyway, not his fault, he simply had no idea of how the phobia controlled my Life.  He'd read the book 

The MIND Charity will help.  Chatting to people in similar situations can be helpful.  On your 'better' days you may find that helping locally will give you a sense of purpose.  Do contact them to see what help they need.  Sometimes it helps to be with others in a like situation, however, I never found it so.  I wanted to be with people who could help with emotional support which I didn't get from my Mother.

I found making lists useful  ……

Hi CKLD

Sorry for the confusion, I mean, none of the support workers can help with the housing issues.
I do go to our local MIND sometimes, but only when I can motivate myself.
I am so depressed, I can't get out of my chair even on some sunny days.
It is not all meno related, it is some non meno issues too.
I'm sorry that you didn't get emotional support from your mother.
I am considering cutting off contact with my mother again, if I don't get an ADHD diagnosis, as depression can be part of ADHD.
My mother is at the root of my depression, she knows this but doesn't care.
When I was born, I was immediately taken away from my mother to be given oxygen, and as far as I know, the first few seconds of life is important when bonding.
My mum said we never bonded.
She has always treated me bad and spoken to me badly but I blame myself for not leaving home till 25, she got worse with me as she got older. She knows this, but, again, does not care.
I live 300 miles away from her, I would rather sleep under a bridge than go back and live with her.
Our relationship is false, I cut off contact for 7 years and wish I had not re established contact. It is something I really regret and I feel really false for doing it.
I might just say I need to cut off contact because while we are in contact it is costing me my self esteem.

[Dandelion]

Aw Dandelion sending hugs your way.

Re: support groups - I know what you mean about the mornings - it can be challenging.  I'm lucky in someways I guess because there's a local church that runs 2 afternoon groups for people going through tough times and needing support with mental health.  I sometimes go to them when I'm having a rough day - the clients are always really kind and that's how I found out about a support agency that could help me.

Re: being a home owner and not getting support - did someone tell you you weren't entitled to any support because you own a house?  Only that doesn't sound right to me so I'm just wondering who told you that?  It might also be worth giving Shelter a call because they have a housing helpline and I've heard that they can be quite helpful - and as homes and homelessness is their major focus, you might get some more information.

I keep telling myself I'm going to get better because I can't face the alternative - I'm really scared where the 12 billion pounds worth of social service cuts are going to fall and having worked in social services myself, I know it's likely to be the poor and vulnerable that are going to be targeted.  So I try not to think about it too much (CBT - refocus thoughts, reframe to positive thoughts!).

Sending hugs xxx

You can get help with housing problems if you are a tenant. I got advice from shelter and also the nice legal advisers at the leasehold place, and they confirmed my problem. There is nothing I can do about it.

I don't know why they keep attacking the vulnerable.
Well I do, see below, I think there is an agenda, a genocide agenda.
They are making homelessness a crime in hackney, (I don't live there) but if you sleep on the street, you are likely to get a fine of upto £1000, I don't know how a homeless person can pay a fine of £1000, £1 a week for 20 years?

I'm really sorry you are feeling worried about the cuts. I am a welfare claimant and dreading losing my benefits, because I won't have enough to pay the mortgage and the bills.
I have savings, like every sensible homeowner should have for maintenance and repair, but I don't want to be dipping into these and running them down, to pay bills etc.
I'll eat less and my food will be poorer quality, but that's just tough.
The government want rid of the poor, by suicide, ill health, no treatment, etc, yet, they are making more people poorer.

[CLKD]

My Mum didn't see me for 3 days as I wasn't expected to live.   She didn't get to bath me for 5 because I was tiny.  No problem with bonding though  but to survive she has other issues.  I now recognise them for what they are ........... I'm now my own person, I know what support I am able to access if necessary and don't tell any family - nowt to do with them 

What ever you feel about the Government of the Day you can't change what they will do, whichever colour is 'in'.  Starting at local level might be a way to go, if I have issues I get onto our Parish Council in the first instance.  I'm like dog with a bone   

[Dandelion]

My Mum didn't see me for 3 days as I wasn't expected to live.   She didn't get to bath me for 5 because I was tiny.  No problem with bonding though  but to survive she has other issues.  I now recognise them for what they are ........... I'm now my own person, I know what support I am able to access if necessary and don't tell any family - nowt to do with them 

What ever you feel about the Government of the Day you can't change what they will do, whichever colour is 'in'.  Starting at local level might be a way to go, if I have issues I get onto our Parish Council in the first instance.  I'm like dog with a bone   

Sorry that you had difficulties at birth.
Maybe the oxygen thing at my birth was not a factor in my mums and my relationship.
She had four other kids in four years, and maybe resented me, being the last one, as abortion was not legalised until the year after I was born.
I am pretty certain that if abortion was legal, she would have had me aborted. She beieves in abortion.
My siblings don't see me as a proper person. They talk down to me. I think our family was complete, two boys two girls, then I came along and I do think this pissed off my parents.
As for the government, I don't trust them and I think they are going to wreak destruction in the uk, but that's just my view.

[Annie0710]

That's really sad Dandelion

My mum and dad had a girl and a boy do then called it a day
Along came my brother and they dealt with it (all 3 were born in the same week exactly 3 years apart), when the time had passed (following the pattern) they became less anxious and knew that was it, then I came along a different month 4 years later ! There was 3 of us in one room for years but I grew up being told that my brother and I were the best 2 mistakes she'd ever made in life, we always knew the story and always joked about it

Annie xx

[Dandelion]

That's really sad Dandelion

My mum and dad had a girl and a boy do then called it a day
Along came my brother and they dealt with it (all 3 were born in the same week exactly 3 years apart), when the time had passed (following the pattern) they became less anxious and knew that was it, then I came along a different month 4 years later ! There was 3 of us in one room for years but I grew up being told that my brother and I were the best 2 mistakes she'd ever made in life, we always knew the story and always joked about it

Annie xx

Awww
At least your mum told the truth.
My mum pretended she was happy about my birth but her actions and deeds said the opposite.
I really really regret re-establishing contact with her again despite my dad's death.
He was a c*nt also.

My mum knows she contributes to my depression but is too busy play-acting happy families with my more successful siblings.
she's not sorry, i wonder if she is a sociopath/psychopath.

[CLKD]

Neither 

If you have support local to you then make use of it.  Do you need to engage with your Mum for a while?  If not, then make yourself a safety bubble 

[Annie0710]

That's really sad Dandelion

My mum and dad had a girl and a boy do then called it a day
Along came my brother and they dealt with it (all 3 were born in the same week exactly 3 years apart), when the time had passed (following the pattern) they became less anxious and knew that was it, then I came along a different month 4 years later ! There was 3 of us in one room for years but I grew up being told that my brother and I were the best 2 mistakes she'd ever made in life, we always knew the story and always joked about it

Annie xx

Awww
At least your mum told the truth.
My mum pretended she was happy about my birth but her actions and deeds said the opposite.
I really really regret re-establishing contact with her again despite my dad's death.
He was a c*nt also.

My mum knows she contributes to my depression but is too busy play-acting happy families with my more successful siblings.
she's not sorry, i wonder if she is a sociopath/psychopath.

I'll never get it..... It's not a child's fault they are brought into this world

Big hugs
We love you

Annie xx

[Greenfields]

Aw Dandelion sending hugs your way.

Re: support groups - I know what you mean about the mornings - it can be challenging.  I'm lucky in someways I guess because there's a local church that runs 2 afternoon groups for people going through tough times and needing support with mental health.  I sometimes go to them when I'm having a rough day - the clients are always really kind and that's how I found out about a support agency that could help me.

Re: being a home owner and not getting support - did someone tell you you weren't entitled to any support because you own a house?  Only that doesn't sound right to me so I'm just wondering who told you that?  It might also be worth giving Shelter a call because they have a housing helpline and I've heard that they can be quite helpful - and as homes and homelessness is their major focus, you might get some more information.

I keep telling myself I'm going to get better because I can't face the alternative - I'm really scared where the 12 billion pounds worth of social service cuts are going to fall and having worked in social services myself, I know it's likely to be the poor and vulnerable that are going to be targeted.  So I try not to think about it too much (CBT - refocus thoughts, reframe to positive thoughts!).

Sending hugs xxx

You can get help with housing problems if you are a tenant. I got advice from shelter and also the nice legal advisers at the leasehold place, and they confirmed my problem. There is nothing I can do about it.

I don't know why they keep attacking the vulnerable.
Well I do, see below, I think there is an agenda, a genocide agenda.
They are making homelessness a crime in hackney, (I don't live there) but if you sleep on the street, you are likely to get a fine of upto £1000, I don't know how a homeless person can pay a fine of £1000, £1 a week for 20 years?

I'm really sorry you are feeling worried about the cuts. I am a welfare claimant and dreading losing my benefits, because I won't have enough to pay the mortgage and the bills.
I have savings, like every sensible homeowner should have for maintenance and repair, but I don't want to be dipping into these and running them down, to pay bills etc.
I'll eat less and my food will be poorer quality, but that's just tough.
The government want rid of the poor, by suicide, ill health, no treatment, etc, yet, they are making more people poorer.

Just to say Dandelion if you do run into problems, there is a group called Christians Against Poverty in our area and I assume they are a national organisation and I know they helped someone in this area avoid losing their house and even turned up at court to help her - so file that information away because it might be useful if they operate in your area.

Also have you thought about taking an antidepressant?  If the depression you are experiencing is very deep, then, even in the short term, an antidepressant might help - I'm told they take 6 - 8 weeks to kick in fully and for the first few weeks you can get side effects (I had to stop taking the one I was given after 2 days because the side effects were so extreme and I'm so damn sensitive to medication) - but I've heard people talk about how useful they are.  And it might help you function a bit more in the short term which might help you with dealing with life generally.

Also (and you probably know this) alcohol is a depressant - so it's best avoided if you can.

I'm really glad you have access to a counsellor - talking to someone is really important.

Sending hugs xxx

[CLKD]

In the 1980s I tried 3 out of the 5 possible ADs at the time and fortunately the 4th worked.  Otherwise 

[honeybun]

My hubby was the fifth child and not wanted by his mother. She made it very obvious throughout his childhood.
His bags were packed for him on his 16th birthday and he was told that as he was an adult he would have to make his own way in the world.

He was serving an apprenticeship in his dad's factory at that point....they were not poor.

He chose to make the best of things, finished his apprenticeship and then went on to travel the country and then the world.

He is a well adjusted person, confident and very independent .

You are what you make of yourself. We can only blame our parents for so much but as we become adults then it's up to us.
I had a happy childhood, and then my dad died on my 19th birthday and I was left with a mother who could not and did not function for years. It made me grow up very quickly and by the time I got married at 24 I was a strong person....I had to be.

You can't blame the government for everything. No matter who is in power they want people to get into work and contribute. There is only a limited amount of money to go around.
People who are applying for PIP have an assement and if you are not fit to work due to ill health, then from what I can read the allowance is generous.

Mybhubby was made redundant three times and also had ill health. We just had to get on and do the best we could. You have to be really imaginative to make ends meet...we were and we did.

I know it's hard but we have to play with the cards we are dealt.

Unfortunately it's down to each individual.

There seems to be lots of help out there....


Honeybun
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