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[fiorinda]

Some advice please!!

I'm 50, been on Prempak C (lower dose) for 21 months. It sorted all of my meno symptoms fine with no side effects.

However, my libido has been dwindling gradually for the last few years and is virtually non-existant now. I've been with my husband for 4 years, married for 6 months, and he is 26.

It really upsets me that I have so little sexual interest. I love him to bits and fancy him like mad, and when we do have sex it is always amazing. I just can't seem to be bothered most of the time, other stuff always seems so much more important. He's very understanding but it must upset him too.

I've just been reading about Livial on here, and how it can increase libido because of the testosterone in it, and wondered if it is one of those types of treatments only prescribed to women who are post menopausal or who have had hysterectomies.

 I also think I have some VA - I don't experience pain during sex, or tearing or anything, and dryness isn't a problem, but (excuse me) I was told that vaginal wind, at times other than after sex, is a sign of VA.

Can anyone give me a bit of advice about this before I go see my GP and ask for something different?

[peegeetip]

Hi

you dont say what other things are more interesting wine, chocolate then sex for me (or all 3 at once if I'm lucky)

you need to make time first. given you have such a young husband it seems such a waste not to make time and stop these other distractions.

in terms of the VA, dont wait, go get onto a medium dose HRT and see if you can get an option from doctor from the following link.

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/local.php

You might want to chose a medium option that was Estradiol based which is better than the option your on at the moment.

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/perimeno.php

In terms of the VA and wind, I guess there is a connection to pelvic floor health.
Perhaps doing exercises for your pelvic floor will help but sex is one of the best ways of keeping you healthy in that respect too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-price/better-sex-kegel-magic-pelvic-floor-shape-up_b_2371487.html

Hope thats helps.

 

[Cassie]

There are better options to HRT, in my opinion than Prempak which is actually made from pregnant mares urine I would ask for one of the friendlier ones like the gel or the patches and see if that makes a diff.

[fiorinda]

Ha ha, I didn't say 'interesting', peegeetip, I said important - I'm talking chores and just stuff that needs doing. And sleep. Sleep is more important than almost ANYTHING!!

Sorry, when I said low dose Prempak C, I meant the lower of the 2. It IS a medium dose treatment. I have no complaints about the medication I'm taking, no side effects and it knocked all my meno symptoms on the head straight away (except the itchiness!!). Along with hot flushes I was suffering forgetfulness, anxiety, exhaustion, mood swings, and the thing that eventually drove me to ask for HRT, which was terrible aching joints. Within days of beginning to take it I felt 100 times better!

I don't like that it's made from mare's urine, Cassie, I understand the mares aren't treated well. But I'm a bit worried about changing from something that has worked so well for me. Gels and patches sound faffy, and I'm not good at faffy. I struggle even to remember to take one tablet (or 2 for part of the month) every morning. I'd prefer to stick with tablets to be honest.

Do you know if any of the other medium does treatments on the list you linked to peegeetip are not made from mare's urine?

Do you think it might be a good idea to ask for a vaginal gel alongside my tablets?

I've been reading up on natural ways to increase testosterone levels, and I'm going to invest in some ginseng tablets and a multivitamin with zinc and magnesium (Yay! More tablets to forget to take!!)

Oh, and hubby says my pelvic floor is A*!!

[dazned]

If prempac suits you I personally would stick with it,it really is a minefield out that there finding a HRT regime to suit each individual.
But yes you could use a local estrogen i.e. vagifem alongside your Prempak if you wanted to address any VA symptoms.
As for low libido think we would all like an answer for that one  I wouldn't waste my money buying things offered out there as no one I know of has mentioned anything that worked but guess you can always try and let us know. Keep posting and good luck.

[peegeetip]

Glad your an A*, but I'd far rather be making out with my young man than making my ironing disappear
Sounds like these chores are either stressing you on your own and/or you need help doing them?
Either way it won't continue happily like that indefinitely.
A friend of mine has a couple of horse to look after and her husband definitely comes 3rd in that relationship, which I find a bit mad really

As mentioned above
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/local.php

Local application suits a lot of us in combination with HRT tablet/gel/patches.

If your happy with that HRT stick with it and go for a higher does of the same, your choice.

[CLKD]

Use it or lose him.  I suffered with low libido for years.  I would rather sleep.  But the guilt  - knowing that DH wasn't getting what he needed.  So now when he 'starts' I go with the flow and actually, arousal happens.  The trick for us was for me to have a deep sleep on the settee in the evening, followed by a shower and bed 

  - no more guilt.  Lots of good sex, at least 1 a week or he gets twitchy.  Soft porn helped  as does using my imagination 

If your current HRT agrees with you then STICK WITH IT! 

[Taz2]

One a week CLKD? One what? 

Fiorinda - it's brilliant to read that once you do get interested then the sex is good. Some women lose both their libido and their ability to orgasm which is very upsetting as there really is no pleasure in love making. It is worth taking the time to make the effort because it does keep everything alive and working. Try to concentrate on sexy thoughts during the day so that you are a little aroused. It takes time and patience but, in the end, you may find that your sexual interest has increased.

Taz x

[fiorinda]

Yeah, I probably do just need to make more effort! I've always been lazy when it comes to sex. Part of the problem is that we keep very different hours, I'm up early and away to work (he's a student) and early to bed, and he stays up late.

CLKD, if I said yes every time he suggested it, we'd never get out of the flat!!

[Hurdity]

Taz I think CLKD means once a week!!! Chance would be a fine thing eh? Maybe one day.....! 

fiorinda - to be blunt - at your age and stage, and his age - I would definitely make the effort come what may. . I can imagine most boys of that age would be quite happy to do it daily (if not more!)....

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

  at least 1 session a week. 

Fiorinda: I remember being in my 20s  …….. but it was an effort, I wanted to regain the lust and desire I had when I was 17/18/19  but the GPs wouldn't accept my loss of libedo was hormonal and not because I was depressed.  I know it was hormonally driven because pre-bleed I was rampant.

So think about your life-style and do some 'fitting in' time 

[Taz2]

  Ah right! I just didn't equate "lots of good sex" with only once a week but maybe that's my particular man 

I agree with Hurdity, Fiorinda,  - you should really  make more of an effort - 26 is very young to have a sparse sex life!

Taz x

[GypsyRoseLee]

My memory is rubbish nowadays, but I seem to recall that at 26 my husband wanted sex every day and twice a day at weekends 

Still, having said that he's 20 years older now and still very keen most days 

I have to pace myself rather more. And I'm not nearly as bendy as I used to be - ouch!

[fiorinda]

You are all right - I need to rouse myself so to speak and make the effort. It's the 4th anniversary of the day we met today, we've just had a lovely dinner and some wine, so an early night is on the cards....