Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Greenfields]

Love that comment Pepperminty!

Yes I've managed to maintain my sense of humour which has helped a bit.

Someone who supported me immediately after the breakdown I had told me that I would need to learn to be kind to myself at a level that I had previously not known - and I think that's also so true.  I've had to be so kind to myself when I can barely function and to recognise that I am still a worthwhile human being even when I'm not capable of very much.

I've always loved the quote: "Just to be is a blessing.  Just to live is holy." by Abraham Joshua Heschel.

The other phrases that have helped me of late are from a Buddhist talk I listened to recently: "this is how things are right now" and "my happiness depends on my response to my life circumstances."

Sending hugs xxx

[pepperminty]

Hi Greenfields,

It is so difficult to think logically and clearly when you are in the depths of despair . When you are a competent, rational, intelligent human being and all your hormones go to pot , there is nothing you can do , but ride it out using various medications such as AD's or HRT ,therapy, the natural routes or time . I am lucky in that I realised my symptoms were meno related fairly early on.  Even through the darkest moments of despair , I have a sense of humour, albeit a black one. I didn't sleep well last night , but the difference on HRT is that I can cope with it better and my brain isn't so foggy. That's quality of life. It's a case of slowing down and not feeling guilty. I am not quite there yet , more tweaking to do .

Taking control is also important, feeling out of control causes anxiety . Small things can make a difference , food, exercise and having the courage to seek help whether that be through medication of therapy. Live for today , because you only get one shot at today.

Peppermintyxx

[pepperminty]

Just heard that Balaclava sales are up ! 

[Hurdity]

But I want to feel like a healthy 40 year old as opposed to an achy 60 year old.

Oi! I'm now 62 and don't want to be achey either - I am not an old woman y'know! Also want to feel like a healthy 62 year old!!!

Re the oestrogen/progesterone question pepperminty.

Hmmm well if you are still peri-menopausal and have plenty of your own oestrogen and the HRT is just topping it up - then you may still experience a mood dip (due to reduction in oestrogen) to some extent in the second part of your cycle (because oestrogen more or less declines during the second half of the cycle) - but that is assuming you still have a fairly regular underlying cycle. Even if you have a cycle now and again - then your body would still register the oestrogen dips. The HRT gives a constant dose of oestrogen so should prevent the worst of the mood dips due to oestrogen crashes - but of course the levels in your body are usually nowhere near what they rise to just before ovulation.

Again if you are still having a cycle and ovulating now and again then you will have your own progesterone too which will add to what's in the HRT so could compound the tiredness effect!

I don't think an increase in oestrogen will counter the effect of the progesterone - in other words its sedative effect which can lead to fatigue), but the higher dose will mean that a higher level of oestrogen will remain in your system and should prevent the mood dips experinced during the sceond half of the cycle. Unfortunately if you are sensitive to progesterone it is something you have to put up with.... but if it is causing serious problems then a specialist may recommend a shorter dose (ie taking it for fewer days per month) under supervision.

If you are still getting background meno symptoms throughout the month then an increase in dose could be the way to go 

Hurdity x

[pepperminty]

Thanks Hurdity ,

I hoped you would post !! Yes that makes sense.I don't think I am progesterone intolerant to this one in Femeston 1/10 . I think it's the dip after I go on the new packet . I think I may need to up the oestrogen then .
 When I was on prempac I felt good on the oestrogen phase ( energy was marvellous , could even wash up in the evenings!)and very bad on the progesterone . I don't feel bad on the progesterone in Femeston , just tired, which waxes and wanes. I also feel very achy still , so I think that implies that I need more oestrogen too. I only had one period this year and a day of spotting before starting HRT a month and a half ago , before that I was pretty regular last year. I think my eggs are giving up the ghost.

I don't think GRL meant 60 is old . These days it's a veritable spring chicken. Perhaps just that you expect a few more aches as time passes by.

I am hoping that it all settles down soon.
I'd love to eventually be one of the success stories , Feeling Fab and fruity on HRT eventually.

Thanks for the advice again

Pepperminty xx

[pepperminty]

Well woke up this morning feeling very , very achy. My hip joints are burning in the sockets and hands feel arthritic. Neck and tops of arms painful and legs very achy. I am 1 week into the progesterone part of the packet. My mood is ok , but not great as I am tired (felt hot all night), but because I feel so achy it's hard to be cheerful.I could cry , but can control it.
I don't know if this means I am intolerant to progesterone or not?
It's an effort to lift my arms.
Normally if I was this tired I'd be very emotional , I am not jumping for joy, but I am not distraught either.
I haven't a clue what to do , I want to keep with the HRT , and have just got another prescription for 1/10 , as I only had 2 and a half packets left from last years abortive attempt.
Should I try cutting the oestrogen tablets left over from the aborted pack , in half and see if the extra bit of oestrogen helps? If so when do I take it?
I have no idea why I am so achy.
It's all a bit much at the moment.
This is why there should be walk in meno clinic for women to get help and advice straight away from experts , instead of suffering for months.
I just hope all these symptoms doesn't mean I am progesterone intolerant.

Thinking of changing my name from pepperminty to " I am a bit cheesed off ".

xx

[LeeJane]

I love the laughs too.  You have to laugh at this crabby thing we are going through!   

I came off HRT about a week ago, to my amazement I feel a lot better without it!   

Emotionally and physically.

[pepperminty]

Hi Leejane ,

I am glad you are feeling better. Some things have improved for me on HRT such as I don't look like I am auditioning for night of the living dead any more. And my brain works again , before I couldn't string a sentence together . I was more exhausted (still have my moments but it has improved , I think). I am more logical and less panicky. My lady bits are less sore. I can cope better generally, I think this is due to the improvement of sleep quality , although I could do with a tad more. Its the aching joints at the moment. If I didn't have that I could function more easily.

I hope no HRT works for you. When I came off last year I felt relieved initially, but all the symptoms I had before came back after a while and I decided to have another go.

It helps to write it all down for reference and the advice.
After Hurdity's reply I am pretty sure I need more oestrogen.
pmintyxx

[LeeJane]

Hi Leejane ,

I am glad you are feeling better. Some things have improved for me on HRT such as I don't look like I am auditioning for night of the living dead any more. And my brain works again , before I couldn't string a sentence together . I was more exhausted (still have my moments but it has improved , I think). I am more logical and less panicky. My lady bits are less sore. I can cope better generally, I think this is due to the improvement of sleep quality , although I could do with a tad more. Its the aching joints at the moment. If I didn't have that I could function more easily.

I hope no HRT works for you. When I came off last year I felt relieved initially, but all the symptoms I had before came back after a while and I decided to have another go.

It helps to write it all down for reference and the advice.
After Hurdity's reply I am pretty sure I need more oestrogen.
pmintyxx

I suspect you are right that my symptoms will return after a while.  I am seeing my doctor on Wednesday to discuss the best way forward.

I also think it is relief I am feeling at present. My cousin got breast cancer whilst on HRT and I think that had quite an impact on me. 

LOL!  I too looked like a zombie!  Chalky white face!!  Scary!  Got some colour again now.

[pepperminty]

Hi LJ,

I have a very small lawn and have just forced myself to mow it. Feel like I have run a marathon , while carrying 2 sacks of potatoes in high heels. I wish I had married an HRT specialist , then he could tweek me as necessary .
 I know what you mean about relief, I felt the same initially last year. It's devil and the deep blue see at the moment.
The meno nurse I spoke to was very reassuring , but I can't see her for a while as I am waiting for the appointment to come through. Trouble is when you are like this , up and down like a  pair of knickers with no elastic you need reassurance and advice ASAP. That's why this forum is good.

I had trouble turning the tap on and off today , I had to use a towel to gain purchase. LOL.
 
My mother had breast cancer , but she still doesn't regret HRT as she wouldn't have been able to work/function without it. She looks good for her years. A person's risk of developing cancer depends on many factors, including age, genetics, and exposure to risk factors (including some potentially avoidable lifestyle factors). I think statistically HRT raises the risk minimally , and the fact that a lot of gynaecologists are taking it speaks volumes.
But I totally understand why you are concerned.

Well I look less like a Zombie , but feel like one now !!
The other solution is to win the lottery. At the moment if I won enough I'd open up free meno clinics around the country and give all you lovely women first dibs . One can dream.

Pmintyxx

[LeeJane]

'LJ', I like that. 

I relate to getting exhausted by a seemingly small job. 

It is like bouncing around emotionally.  Very hard to remain stable.  My own doctor also put the fear of God into me about HRT.  Then when my cousin mentioned her cancer, I just thought omg!

I am very lucky that I no longer work.  I retired some years ago, I was in a very stressful, fast pace job. Nooooooo way would I have been able to do that now.  It was very large open plan office, so even just the noise of a couple hundred people would have had me laying on the floor freaking out!

I am on 40mg Prozac a day which I feel is helping massively.  I went into such a dark depression but that has lifted now. 

I have learnt so much from this wonderful forum.  Also reassurance that I am not going nuts!  The worst thing was looking at my husband (of 12 years) wondering who the heck he was!! 

I will discuss medication my doc on Weds.  I don't smoke, drink alcohol and amrmal body weight so that must all put the risks lower. 

Thanks, Pepperminty

[pepperminty]

Well shock horror, I slept well "ish", and this morning I didn't ache so much and was not so knackered . Could I be bedding in successfully with HRT ? Have my hormones stopped fighting and have given up in disgust ?

 Can't believe the time , and only just starting to feel knackered! I do hope that this is the turning point , it's amazing what actually feeling relatively normal does for you ! My optimism is positively nauseating . It's only been 1 day of not feeling crap and I am so grateful. There is hope.
 HOPE , that 3 letter word that we all need.
I also have an appointment in June with the meno clinic , so that's positive too.
Wishing all your hopes come true.

Peppermintyxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Glad you've had a better day. I'm keeping everything crossed that you don't dip this month.

As for aches and pains, I have developed a nasty dull ache all down my right arm. Very similar to when you've bumped your funny bone, but it's constant. It also feels like my blood pressure is far too high in just my arm. Really odd.

Will ask my consultant about it tomorrow, as this pain coincided with a very sharp headache which lasted for 5 days as my mood started to lift. Headache is long gone but this pain in my arm is really annoying me. Can't help but think it might be related to my HRT?

[pepperminty]

Thanks girls.

Humour is so important in life Sparkle , I do try!!

Hi GRL,
I hope your appointment went well (do tell all). And that your arm is behaving.
I have an appointment in June so I am going to keep with the Femeston 1/10 until then and go up to 2/10 if they advise , as I really need more energy. Been a bit spacey and tired today. As I have said before , I'd be thrilled to have the energy to wash up after 5pm, which isn't a lot to ask.
5 more days to go before the end of the pack , and hoping that I am just a bit miserable and not off the charts like last time ! It comes to something when a bit miserable and hoping to do washing up after 5pm are your goals! Who am I and where did I go? Or do you just get more easily pleased ?

Peppermintyxx

[Hurdity]

  Pepperminty - oo-er re the washing up! Little steps....

Yes some time we do get more easily pleased but depending on your circumstances - sometimes you can do more than you did before eg having had 4 children that was pretty restricting in terms of what I could do and afford, so now a bit more able to spread my wings and do things that just weren't possilbe. Trying to fit more in until we get too old!

Hurdity  x