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[Angela68]

Can anyone identify with this? I'm not sure if this is menopause related or just me! 
 I was made redundant three years ago from a really good post that I had been in for over 10 years. After that I struggled to find another job and at the time I had severe anemia due to really heavy periods so I really didn't have the energy to pursue much.
  When I did find something it wasn't what I wanted but it was a job - I really now want to progress with my career and get back into a job that I enjoy.....but I panic everytime I get an interview and I end up cancelling, making up excuses such as too low paid, too far away, too little hours!!
I get excited when I get the call to come for interview then on the day I feel sick and scared and feel that maybe I should stay were I am as even though the job isn't great I feel safe there, its like I cant mess it up!

I'm 47 and still classed as peri menopausal, I though I was post meno until I had a bleed this year after 13 months, my gynae checked it out and said all was fine and technically it should be 24 months before a woman is classed as post meno.

I feel like a failure, so much that I lie to family and friends and tell them I went for the job but it just wasn't for me! I was never like this before and I am terrified that this wreck is me forever!

I have lost myself and I am not sure if this is all my own doing or another side effect of my hormones.....Any thoughts would be gratefully received ladies..

Angela.x

[Sarai]

I can identify in part as I am in peri and getting anxiety for the most stupid things, things that would never have bothered me just months ago, like making a telephone call. It seems from posts on here that anxiety is just one part of the glorious package we face.
I understand the timescale for peri and post is 2 years if you are under 50 and 1 over 50.
Sorry I dont think I have helped much, but I'm self employed and not been in the job market for a very long time.

[CLKD]

If it's anxiety holding you back then speak with your GP about medication, either to take daily or on an as-necessary basis?

[Angela68]

Thanks Sarai, I'm the same with telephone calls! I need to write down what I want to say yet before all this I didn't have a problem!

I do suffer from anxiety CLKD my GP has given me diazepam if I need them, I cant really describe this as anxiety though, it feels more like fear, like fear of being on my own in front of people and fear of failing....overall I feel over the hill and stupid to be honest! This was never me before but now I feel I mix up my words, forget what I was saying and feel really shaky inside!!   

A.x

[caz24]

I can totally relate to this Angela, I'm 48 and could be out of work at any time. I keep looking for something else but I feel 'safe' where I am but it isn't a 'safe' job if you know what I mean. I'm terrified that I won't be up to a new challenge even though I've held managerial positions in the past. The last interview I had was awful as I felt completely out of my depth and felt I made a bit of an idiot of myself by doing what you mention, forgetting what I was saying and mixing up my words. I got that awful red rash on the top of my chest too which made it worse. Next time I have an interview I'm wearing a polo neck!

I am in no doubt that hormones have a lot to answer for and make you feel like you're past it and your confidence can take a real knock.

I'm sure that we have a lot to offer in the workplace but believing it is another matter. Lots of luck to you x

[Angela68]

Thank you carol24,

I can totally get you on the interview, I feel like an idiot as I try and rummage through my brain looking for words than actually make sense!! Its horrible and so frustrating! I was like you, I held managerial positions I could speak confidently at meetings etc....but I don't know who I am anymore! The job I'm in at the moment is mostly young people and I feel they look at me as I have nothing much to offer, even the management seem to be young and I'm mostly overlooked, normally I'd be very nonchalant and not let it bother me but these days I come home in tears and feel sorry for myself!

I know I need to fight this and try and get myself back but easier said than done sadly!

Who knows maybe one day it'll all fall back into place and we'll be a new improved version of our old selves 

Lots of luck.xx

[CLKD]

Anxiety takes all forms.  I had deep fear for months ……… medication helped.  Do you use the Valium?

As for interviews, no way could I even contemplate that situation  . 

[Kathleen]

Hello Angel68 and sending hugs.

I think the problems of the menopause can cause you to lose your confidence. I don't work but I often feel vulnerable and shaky and that makes me think I can't cope.

I'm told that when hormones settle we adjust and life goes back to an even keel, I certainly hope that's the case!

Wishing you well and take care.

K.

[CLKD]

You need to begin taking care of you.  We are at a time of Life when our emotions and feelings take over.  This is a blip but you wont' feel it so right now.  Little steps.

[caz24]

We can live in hope Angela68 about being an improved version of our old selves one day.  I sometimes feel like I'm on the scrap heap!

Let's take some comfort in what CLKD said about this being a blip. x