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[Sphere27]

Hi everyone
Looks like we all having bad time at moment. I never realised it was going to be this bad! Again it's the anxiety and misery!! I'm very active person but last couple months I can't be bothered with anything! The mornings are hell. Back at GP today. Another change of hrt. We think the Uterogestan was affecting me. Not sure if it's psychological but never took last night and wasn't quite as bad! Like many of you I look fine and no one really realises how bad I feel. I'm booked for meno clinic but not till June.
Dreading work tomorrow. Big hugs everyone. We are not alone xxx

[jedigirl]

How are you all today? I woke up very anxious which eased a bit till I went to docs and had my blood test and obviously I am in full panic mode now in case something sinister is found  I had a battery of tests last year and all came back fine except FSH but there's that horrible "what if" lurking again.
My hair is like a grease slick this morning, had to tie it up. Never had this before. Does anyone know which hormone that might be?
Oh the joys!

[Taz2]

I would think that as it's lack of oestrogen which causes hair and skin dryness then it must be more oestrogen which causes the greasiness? 

Taz x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Morning jedigirl.

I took 2 Kalms Night last night as I was worried I wouldn't sleep as felt so low and jittery yesterday.

Fortunately I actually slept very well. Feel much, much better this morning. Anxiety was negligible on waking. Low mood gone. But I feel quite drained and weak, like I'm recovering from a huge shock to the system? But I suppose these massive mood swings 'are' a huge shock to the system, so it's no wonder.

Yesterday I felt so low and despairing. Today I feel cautiously upbeat and smiley. It's madness.

But I can't really enjoy it because I know I will crash again. Don't know how my system can keep sustaining such massive mood swings? It must be doing me so much damage?

No idea which hormone causes greasy hair? Is thete any testosterone in your HRT? They won't find any nasties from your blood tests. I am 100% sure. Big hugs xxxx

[jedigirl]

Glad you're feeling more upbeat Gypsyroselee, that's a good feeling.
I can't get a good sleep at the moment as my youngest boy has horrendous cough and keeps throwing up mucus after some horrible gasping episode. It's not helping my anxiety. He's been to the docs and has anitbiotics but it's been a week. My oldest boy is in the midst of A levels and his eczema is dreadful, I want to cry for him. To top it off the cats have both picked up cat flu from their visit to the cattery at Easter despite being up to date with their jabs. My daughter has a National gymnastic competition next month which involves a three hour trip and stay overnight. 
I can't cope with it all, just want to hide.
There's no testosterone in my HRT and still on two pumps of Estragel but something major is obviously happening with my hormones. I haven't had a period as such this month either, just slightly brown discharge like the end of a period which didn't even last a day.
I hate hormones!!
Oh dear I am becoming a right winge.
Hugs x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh goodness. No wonder you're anxious. Even without hormonal nasties, what you have on your plate would cause so much stress.

It sounds like you haven't ovulated this month? Hence just the brown spotting. I think this has happened to me once or twice and has resulted in truly horrible anxiety and insomnia which lasted much of the month.

[jedigirl]

Thank you GypsyRoseLee,
You're so kind. I feel very alone in all this. I'm not the person I once was and wonder if I will get her back.
I used to be able to cope with things. Not now.
I want to be a good Mum, wife , daughter again and don't feel I have the energy.
Maybe I haven't ovulated. I would love to have all this over so hope not in a way, though don't like how it feels.
Thanks for the support , hope your better mood lasts and lasts 

[toffeecushion]

How do you cope with everything going on around you?  My boys are 26 and 25 and still at home and that is hard enough at times, couldn't cope with youngsters at home, no wonder you are stessed.

[GypsyRoseLee]

You are not alone. We are all here to cyber hug you and hold your hand. And you are definitely not a bad mother. If you were then you wouldn't care what sort of parent you were.

My Mum clearly struggled with peri menopause anxiety/low mood. But at the time I wasn't really aware (children are very self centered and selfish as a rule). I know it's so hard to force yourself through the day, when you're feeling bad. But so long as you do, then trust me your children will be fine.

They won't really notice if you do it with a forced smile or a natural one (I know mine don't).

[jedigirl]

Toffeecushion GypsyRoseLee
Thank you for the hugs and kind words, I certainly need them as I know you do.
I'm not really coping with all the stress toffeecushion, just keeping going as I have no choice. I know others have it alot worse but am trying to remind myself I'm doing ok despite how stressful evrything is.
The kids certainly know I'm not well and will often ask if I'm feeling okay or how my hormones are! They're fab kids, I just wish I was the playful, involved Mum I was before.
Have slept all afternoon so feel a bit better and more ready for tonights coughing dramas.
Hugs to you both and thanks for listening 

[SueRoe]

jedigirl - I got into a similar state as you - I felt out-of-control and swimming with hormones. I was behaving badly, moody and tearful - like being a teenager but worse! It was hard to see a way out of things and it was driving a wedge between me and my poor hubby. Out of desperation, and because it was the only thing I could do, I stopped my HRT. That was nearly 3 weeks ago and I feel like a new woman - better than I've felt for a year. It's hard to know when the symptoms that prompted us to take HRT in the first place have gone, so it's hard to know when we can try stopping HRT. I think I was medicating myself for problems that no longer needed medicating. I also think that HRT can sometimes be too much for some of us to take - a bit hammer-to-crack-a-nut. Maybe your feeling that you are swamped with hormones is correct. 

[jedigirl]

Freda,
I do feel swamped, by what I'm not sure. I am too fearful to stop HRT at the moment in case I feel worse because I couldn't cope with that.
I should have some blood results soon and will see what they tell me. My greasy hair and dry skin tell me something hormonal is not right but I don't know what.
I'm glad you're feeling good, its great to hear someone is!
Hugs xxx

[SueRoe]

Jedigirl, I can quite understand you not wanting to risk feeling worse! This whole thing is the pits isn't it? I felt better within 2 or 3 days of stopping HRT as the levels fell away. My dry, flaky, maddeningly itchy skin went in a few days too. I only stopped because I was desperate to feel better and didn't believe I could feel any worse without HRT than I did with it. HRT got me through the last year and I'm grateful for that. My view is that it's not easy to tell what's causing a change in the way you feel if you've previously been OK on HRT, and that if you feel really awful then stopping HRT is worth a try - you can always go back on to it. I hope your blood test results are helpful and that you feel better soon. Good luck.

[CLKD]

Can you delegate the gymnastics over-nighter?

If there is cat 'flu in the boarding cattery then the LA should shut it down until it's over.  Have a word with the Vet. about this?
Cats do get hay fever you know 

If you son has eczema right now will it stop once the exam stressors are over?

[jedigirl]

Thanks CLKD
I can't delegate the gym thing. She is competing to be a British Champion and will need me there for support, she's only 14. She is already a double British champion and we are very proud of her. It's the stress, travel, expense that goes with it I could do without.
I have rung the cattery and told them, they said they would look into it and burn their blankets etc. It's hard to prove it was there they got it but the timing fits.They are on pencillin for it.
I hope sons eczema will ease in the summer. We are waiting for a hospital appointment to see dermatologist.
How are you?
x