Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[honorsmum]

Crikey.
Taking the view that we'll all suffer because of the menopause, isn't that just like any other part of growing older? We'll all slow down, we'll all get wrinkles, we'll all go grey - but is any of this treated in such a pessimistic, no hope way?
I'd rather have false hope than spend the next 10 years terrified by the possibility of bladder problems, sex life problems etc - surely menopause doesn't mean the death knell for any kind of quality of life for all women??

It's a bit like saying you'll never be the same after you've had children - true, but not necessarily a terrible thing. Change us inevitable for all humans throughout life - why make it something to be fearful of?

[BrightLight]

[/quote]


If there is a negative frame of mind, perhaps it's because mostly ladies who come to this forum do have issues with menopause, that's why we're here.
[/quote]

I do appreciate that people come here that have challenges, I still like to think that a positive mind isn't to be excluded. I apologise if anyone thinks my attitude is dismissive of suffering, it certainly isn't, I've had my fair share

[Dancinggirl]

Brightlight is absolutely right - I'm afraid most of us who visit this site have had problems, so this site has been a lifeline. I did say in my post that I'm sure many women do not have major problems but also that there are probably many who suffer in silence because they are embarrassed or believe there is nothing that can be done.
As to bladder problems - there is good reason why there are so many adverts on television with special pads etc. !!!
I do believe we can manage these problems better and the more informed we are the less these things will impede our lives.
Many women come on this site with the question "when will I get the old me back" and I believe this is the wrong way to look at things. It's called 'the change' for good reason and the meno does bring many changes, however it is how we embrace those changes and adjust our lives - be a bit kinder to ourselves, if we can - that will probably determine how good our lives are in the long term. I do think that HRT can help many women feel they are holding back the clock a bit.
DG x

[peegeetip]

LOL DG, it was Limpy's post that mentioned that a lot who visit the site are already at the point of having problems to deal with.
Brightlight is one of the few regular posters that is virtually symptom free.
Very good post Limpy too.
I think her comments about not being able to ravish her husband without some prep work (which would ruin the moment) sums up how a lot of ladies might feel.
I wonder if that would change Brightlight's appreciation of the problems, however small they are, in what we face when further into peri/meno journey?

DG you also make a good point, so many seem to say "when will I get the old me back".

My point is that new research is pointing to "don't let the old me go in the first place".
I just wish I had not been so hasty to stop the Pill from what I read now. Less worry and better protection thru Peri.

Honorsmum "Taking the view that we'll all suffer because of the menopause, isn't that just like any other part of growing older?"
No, it is not really, Menopause is treated differently by so many. In all other conditions we try to fix the issue, thyroid, diabetes, arthritis etc these are all aging conditions but we try and fix them.
Why should meno be so different.
Should we suffer for 10 years plus when we have the ability and the drugs that help that too?
 
There are some who seem to think the peri/meno change becomes a "less is more" situation and make do.
However I'd rather not loose even small parts of what defines me.
I certainly will not make do with a lower quality of life.
If that means that HRT is the way I do this then I'm fine with that choice and glad that its there for us.

 

[SallyG]

Personally speaking, I just needed to get well and was willing to try HRT because I just knew it was hormone depletion that was making me feel so awful and ill. I am still recovering but would not be as far on without HRT and the awareness of knowing why I feel the way I do. I hope to return to work and get on with my working life.
 Sally G

[peegeetip]

Well said Sally G 

I just wish I had not waited till the point I was feeling "ill" before I realized there had been a Help button all along 

[honorsmum]

I wasn't suggesting we ignore the symptoms of menopause, I was saying that suggesting it's the beginning of the end and something to be afraid of is a bit doom-laden; ageing involves lots of changes, but I'm not sure it helps to worry about what might happen - this is in response to peegeetip' s comment to Bright Light that she was giving false hope to women...It rather sounded like suffering is inevitable.
No one should suffer in silence, but that doesn't mean that those that are silent are suffering!

[BrightLight]

Brightlight is one of the few regular posters that is virtually symptom free.

I wonder if that would change Brightlight's appreciation of the problems, however small they are, in what we face when further into peri/meno journey?

 

As I said above I do appreciate that people come here that have challenges, I still like to think that a positive mind isn't to be excluded. I apologise if anyone thinks my attitude is dismissive of suffering, it certainly isn't, I've had my fair share.

I contributed to this thread to discuss whether HRT stops the menopause, which is an interesting question regardless of severity or cluster of symptoms. Using HRT to completely eradicate the menopausal event is in the future I think, when more knowledge is gained as to how to prevent and not just suppress symptoms, for now we have to accept the changes and use HRT wisely to alleviate symptoms and enter into the changed state in an easeful way.

[peegeetip]

Hi Honorsmum

not sure being truthful is being doom laden.

If someone told me 10 years ago about these things I'd have gone down a more preventative route with the pill then follow on HRT.
I'm sure a lot of us who've experienced the problems would think the same.

Instead I was tested for things I did not have, given false information and left at a point where each journey was beginning to become a "plan the toilet stop" exercise.

When I eventually figured out the peri and meno secret my doc seemed more annoyed by my cheek of asking for HRT. The discussion was then a guilt trip and a push towards "putting up, shutting up and getting on with our lot". Even getting my HRT was a struggle.

I certainly never said it was the "beginning of the end" far from it. (your words)
Just that we should treat peri/meno with the same respect as other conditions we meet on our journey.
I want to continue with my return to current quality of life.
If HRT can provide that for some of us then I'm happy to have arrived at the party (if a little late).

 

[peegeetip]

Hi Brightlight

"when more knowledge is gained as to how to prevent and not just suppress symptoms"

I have no idea what you mean by this  The HRT options do prevent as they replace the missing estrogen that causes the problems. 

"for now we have to accept the changes and use HRT wisely to alleviate symptoms and enter into the changed state in an easeful way."

We don't have to accept any change if you use the HRT wisely.
I won't go accepting the change any further anytime time soon

 

[Winterose]

Just saw a Jama Internal Medicine Report from USA which says Hot Flashes last an average of 7.5 years and up to 14 years . Didnt read it all as headline
really said it all.  However I am sure we all know this, it would be interesting tohear from ladies in their 80s as to how they get on with or without HRT

[BrightLight]

Hi Brightlight

"when more knowledge is gained as to how to prevent and not just suppress symptoms"

I have no idea what you mean by this  The HRT options do prevent as they replace the missing estrogen that causes the problems. 

"for now we have to accept the changes and use HRT wisely to alleviate symptoms and enter into the changed state in an easeful way."

We don't have to accept any change if you use the HRT wisely.
I won't go accepting the change any further anytime time soon

 

Peegeetip It's great that you have found the solution for you and sorry it took so long. I am being general with my contribution. I mean that hormone therapy is an area of medicine being explored for many different things and that in the future we will know more and more and probably use it, as you say as a preventative much earlier in life and used long term, like a vitamin. When I said natural change, I mean the changes that happen anyway, without hormone therapy, in that way, I see that HRT is suppressing a process and or symptoms. HRT supports the body to continue in a state that is less prone to certain disease and that's great, the natural order of things is decline. I'm not suggesting symptoms or change have to be tolerated. It's an individual thing. I was expressing my view on HRT and to me, it's a replacement which isn't bad or wrong.

[honorsmum]

Hi Brightlight

glad you've made your choice for now.

We're here if you need us later

Just to clarify "They may or may not arise though.", your statement is incorrect.
This could give false hope to others.

With the end of peri then menopause and the lack of hormones, we will all see the knock on effects at some stage.
Its just some of us will take longer and be able to put up with issues better and be less worried by these changes and chronic issues. But these issues will occur.

I'm glad your eating well and exercising and we should all take something from that.

This is the post I'm referring to.
You use the words "give false hope", as though there is no hope of not suffering in the menopause, but then go on to say that not every woman will be bothered by symptoms - which is what Bright Light said in her post, but you argue is incorrect.

I can say that my mother is 80 and, in her words, "sailed through the menopause" at around 50 and has not suffered any issues. Does that give me false hope?
Ageing comes with changes, inevitably, but does that mean we will all "suffer"? I didn't say we shouldn't treat the symptoms where appropriate, but I'm not sure "suffering" is guaranteed.

[Limpy]

I just wish I had not been so hasty to stop the Pill from what I read now. Less worry and better protection thru Peri.

Peegeetip - I think you are right. I was able to stay on a low dose combined pill till I turned 54.
GP made me stop then, things were ok for the 1st 6 weeks then bladder infections (definitely were infections) hit and VA got much worse. Another joy was that my MS got much worse, I was able to get HRT after 6 months. Whilst it hasn't fixed everything I do feel a lot better.

[peegeetip]

Hi Honorsmum

if your mum is anything like mine was then she would not admit even if there was an issue so I don't see where your going on that topic.

Externally my own mum "sailed" but I now realize she had issues that I've now seen myself but did not understand at the time.

There are lots of people out there saying "but it might be ok" and when things don't work out its often its too late to fix, that is false hope.

Hi Limpy

Thanks for your comment

If the HRT helps me to avoid Infections in my "water works" over the years and taking unnecessary antibiotics then I'm happy to that's at least one less issue to suffer.
Hope you continue to feel better