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[dixie63]

Hello, I am new here, and have been reading through the forum for a little while. I am so glad I found you all!

I am 52, and have been going through perimenopause for about 4 or 5 years now. My worst symptoms have been anxiety, depression, and fatigue. I have hot flashes and night sweats, but they aren't as troublesome as the horrid anxiety, and the crushing fatigue.

I have recently started HRT again, after trying to go without, and am having trouble getting the right dosage.
I am in the U.S., so the names may be unfamiliar to some. I am on Divigel .05mg., and Prometrium 200mg. The Prometrium is taken for 12 days each month. So far, the hot flashes are gone, but little help with the anxiety and depression.

I have had a lot of stress the past 3 years, as my son was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He is doing well now, but it has been very hard to go through.
That, combined with perimenopause, has me struggling with severe anxiety.

Hoping to find some hope and encouragement from reading of everyone's  experiences with this difficult time of life.
Thank you for having me in your forum!

[Rhubarb]

Hi dixie63! I'm in the US too. I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through with your son but glad he's doing better. Welcome!

[Eliza]

Hi I'm so sorry to hear about your son. It's awful when our children have problems (doesn't matter how old they are, they're still our children and we worry).  . Trying to deal with that at this time of life too will definitely create more anxiety.   I tend to get spells of anxiety at night, heart racing etc, but I know a lot about anxiety so I can deal with it. Have you tried CBT to help with it?  X

[honorsmum]

Hi again, Dixie 

I'm so sorry about your son - that must have been very difficult to cope with. Glad he's coming through it now.
I am 45 and think I started going through peri about 6 months or so ago. I've had the odd night sweat and am just coming out of a period of awful insomnia, but the worst symptoms seem to be palpitations, anxiety and low mood. At certain times in the month (like today), I wake up early and a black cloud descends on me. Other days, it will be anxiety. I find it difficult to find the motivation to do much when I feel that way, but meditation does help calm and relax me.

I am seeing a specialist next month and hoping to talk about HRT to help.

[dixie63]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

My son was only 22 when first diagnosed, went through chemo, and we thought it was cured.  He had a recurrence last year, at 24 years old.
He had to be hospitalized for more chemotherapy.
So far his tests have been clear of any signs of cancer, but I still live in fear of another recurrence.

I am considering going for counseling to help deal with the worry about him, and the anxiety and depression from perimenopause.

Have any of you had good results from therapy?

Thank you all again!

[Hurdity]

Hi dixie63

  from me too and as the others have said also so sorry to hear about your son - I can imagine how difficult that must be and the fact that you are also going through the menopause makes it more difficult to cope with.

I can't comment on your oestrogen dose but I imagine it is similar to Oestrogel or Sandrena that is available here?  Maybe you need a slightly higher dose?

Have you also had your thyroid tested? Low testosterone can also cause crushing fatigue but this is not recognised in UK so is rarely tested except for women who have had total hysterectomy with ovary removal.

I wish you well and especially with the counselling.

Hurdity x

[dixie63]

Hurdity,

Thanks for your reply, and the understanding remarks concerning my son. Being in the midst of this menopausal transition has made it much harder to deal with his illness. I've been hanging on by my fingernails the past few years.

I believe Divigel is the same as Oestrogel, but Divigel comes in single dose, foil packets instead of a pump bottle.

My thyroid tests always come back in the high-normal range, so no doctor wants to explore that any further.
Testosterone doesn't seem to be offered very often here either, but I may ask my gyn about it next appointment.

Thanks again!

[Millykin]

Dixie63
Sorry to hear about your son, glad he is doing ok now. I can sympathise with you. Few years ago my daughter took seriously ill, brain swelling, coma, had to relearn life age 21. Months in hospital. When she came home I was anxious in case anything else happened. Year later she had PE followed by pnuemonia. That's when I was diagnosed as peri and so the anxiety was just terrible between hormones all over the place, worry of family. 18 months later she doing great I'm doing great but it really does stick in your mind that something else will occur. I wish you peace Dixie63 and hope all keeps well for your son and you find a time when you feel good
X

[honorsmum]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

My son was only 22 when first diagnosed, went through chemo, and we thought it was cured.  He had a recurrence last year, at 24 years old.
He had to be hospitalized for more chemotherapy.
So far his tests have been clear of any signs of cancer, but I still live in fear of another recurrence.

I am considering going for counseling to help deal with the worry about him, and the anxiety and depression from perimenopause.

Have any of you had good results from therapy?

Thank you all again!

I have had counselling, to try to work through some difficulties in my life (my dad died after spending 6 months in ICU, and I was also carjacked at knifepoint) but because of the waiting lists over here, the counselling wasn't available until 2 years after it was requested.
That said, it was very useful just to be able to spew it all out to a third party and be listened to.

[BrightLight]

Hi Dixie
I am also someone who has life events co-inciding with hormone decline and have struggled at times to know where my anxiety is coming from and how to address it.  Hopefully the HRT will give you some space to address anxieties that you have around your son.  I would approach your GP about counselling, as Honorsmum says, it is often useful to have a place where you can be validated for how you feel. 

I have a therapist and it really does help - mainly to help me seperate things out and lessen the overwhelm that can happen with handling several things at once.  Things can feel out of control at times like this and in some ways they are.  It has helped me to acknowledge that and try to focus on the things that ARE in my control.

Wishing you well.

[dixie63]

Millykin, you surely have been through a hard time with your daughter. It is so hard to watch our children suffer.
I'm glad she is doing well now, and your post gives me hope that my family can one day put this difficult time behind us. Thank you so much for your wish for me to find peace. I wish continued good health and peace,for you and your family.

honorsmum and BrightLight, thank you for your insights concerning therapy.
Here in the US, there isn't a wait to see a therapist, and my insurance covers it. I have just been so down, it has been hard to make the move to get referred to a therapist.
I have got to push myself to just make the call, and get some help. I don't have any friends really, so it is just my husband and son to talk to, and they listen, but can't (understandably) relate to what I am going through, as far as the menopausal symptoms anyway.

BrightLight, that is much of my problem, the lack of control. All of my son's life, I have tried to keep him safe,as any mother does, but this disease came out of nowhere, and there is nothing I can do to protect him from it. It makes life seem so frightening.

Sorry to run on so long. Like I said, I am rather isolated here, and am letting it all spill out to you all!

Again, thank you to everyone who has replied.  It has meant a lot to me.

[BrightLight]

Dixie - isolation is a good thing to recognise as something that adds to the feelings, please write as much as you want and reach out in your location if you can.

Without getting too deep I have real trouble with responses to shock and also to live with the sense of the unknown - we all do to some extent, it's human and natural.  Though I have had a few shocks in my life and all to do with my family and only in the last few years did the anxiety I clearly hold about it all really surface.  Before that I adapted and avoided the feelings and of course the reality that yes, things can go wrong. Only now am I practising embracing it all - the fear, the pain AND the reality that this exists amongst other things that are all good and comforting.

It's really good that you recognise that you are having a natural response to circumstances and would like some support. If you can make that call, please do, it will help you process the shock and aftermath and hopefully lesson your need to be 'on guard' in life.

All we need at the end of the day is a sense of peace and comfort and it's worth asking and finding ways to get that back.  You deserve that. 

[Hurdity]

My thyroid tests always come back in the high-normal range, so no doctor wants to explore that any further.
Testosterone doesn't seem to be offered very often here either, but I may ask my gyn about it next appointment.

Thanks again!

Just to add - it might be worth asking your doctor for the actual results of your thyroid tests because the reference range of what is considered normal can vary, and also some women do experience symptoms even when they are borderline normal.

Having said that you may well benefit from a higher dose of the gel. I am puzzled by your dose - do you mean 0.5 mg estradiol rather than 0.05 mg? If so this is still a low dose if that is all you are having each day? The UK equivalent starting dose (of Sandrena) would be 1.0 mg estradiol per day ie two sachets - or so I understand from the instructions.

Hurdity x

[dixie63]

BrightLight, I made the appointment with a counselor. I start with her next Tuesday. Thank you for your advice, and for sharing your experiences.

Hurdity, I did make a mistake with the Divigel dosage. It is 0.5 mg. of estradiol, once per day.
I was on 1.0 mg. per day at first, and it caused breast tenderness, and heavy periods. My gynecologist suggested dropping the dosage.
I probably didn't give the higher dosage long enough of a trial to see if it would help, due to the side effects.

Thank you for your help everyone.