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[Rowan]

There might be two separated things going on with you honorsmum, your general anxiety which does come across in your posts and (which men as well as women suffer from if you have that sort of sensitive makeup) and the start of perimenopause.

You say you were a classical orchestra musician so you must have a sensitive and emphatic nature.

One of the things that Charles Linden talks about in his Method, is distraction therapy which includes hobbies and finding your passion again to distract you from anxious thought and panic   http://charles-linden.com/

Maybe trying to make time for yourself doing something you love that fits in with your life could help you to stop thinking too much, especially from people who transmit their negativity  to you and drain you.

You must remember that not everything will be solved with HRT.

There is evidence that the cells in the brain are very similar to cells in the bowel and the bowel is being called the second brain, here is some info and it make interesting reading

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/  jut goes to show how everything is linked in the mind and body.

The NHS does tend to treat different parts of the body separately, going to see Annie you may have a better chance of her treating you holistically.

[CLKD]

Silverlady - I found that simply 'sitting' and being quiet helped.  If my mind began to race I would concentrate on 1 issue if possible …… so that I didn't meander to others  : it does take practice to simply 'be' 

I know that my gut is the first thing that 'goes' when anxiety strikes and why a GP should dismiss palpitations etc.  ….. the fact that a patient attends Surgery with symptoms doesn't give a GP the 'right' to be dismissive  …….

[Rowan]

Forgot to add that transdermal HRT is better for Crohn's then oral but I expect Annie will know this.

[CLKD]

We are a Mine of information - pity more GPs don't read our comments 

[honorsmum]

You are spot on, Silverlady.
I am generally anxious, in that I am sensitive and prone to worry. I have been since I was very young - if my twin sister ever got upset, I would cry too! I feel things deeply, which is probably what made me go into music.
It's just the way I'm built and I'm ok with it. Of course,I'd love to be super confident and bold, but my "general anxiety" doesn't cause me too many issues.

Right now, it's the physical sensations of anxiety that I'm not enjoying - the unease, the feeling of being lightheaded and not quite present at times, the adrenaline rushes, the palpitations, the feeling that I'm waiting for something to happen.
It really does feel like being out of balance - like a car whose engine is being revved too hard in the wrong gear, or something.
I know HRT isn't a magic wand, and in fact I'm worried that messing about with hormones could make things worse. That said, antidepressants weren't great for me either. Mindfulness is helping me to put space between myself and my worries, and actually I feel pretty calm. My main worry is how to deal with my physical symptoms.

If I give my body something to do, like walking or cleaning, it does seem happier. I have a resolution to learn how to use my fabulous new camera, as a creative outlet. I also teach the flute, which I enjoy.

My bowel issues are definitely intricately linked to stress and what's going on in my brain. I will read your links with interest - I am fascinated by psychology.

[CLKD]

Your hormones are already messed about with 'naturally'!

[honorsmum]

Your hormones are already messed about with 'naturally'!

I didn't put that well - what I mean is, if it's not actually peri causing this, I'm concerned what affect HRT might have. Also, which HRT might work best, in light of the horrendous reaction I had to Citalopram.

[Rowan]

Here is another link you might find interesting honorsmum

http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/  I sent this to my Niece and it helped her.

[CLKD]

Of course, I know I worried before taking ADs etc..

[BrightLight]

Honorsmum - I really feel for you and empathise somewhat.  There is the sensible problem solving self and then there is the emotional self.  The thing is, I believe the WHOLE of you matters and whether the cause/solution is menopausal or an anxiety disorder it really doesn't matter as much as the fact that you feel unwell and not yourself.  Keep that in mind as you journey onwards to find solutions.  You don't feel right and your intuition tells you, so follow that and perhaps try and see all your appointments, investigations, research and chatting as explorations.

I personally do think that you are in a stage of hormonal change related to menopause and there is no way of knowing at which point you are at.  Sounds to me as if you are addressing all your supplement needs that would support hormone imbalance.  The other thing I noticed was that you sound as if you are in a similar position regarding a bit of isolation and time to think - I work for myself but really I am looking for a change.  I am not surprised that hormonal imbalance is part of that too.

We are complex beings and this puzzle to find out why our wellbeing is off kilter is really difficult - they call this the change, this time of life is a change, mid-life.  It doesn't include the menopause for a lot of women but maybe for some of us it does.  A turning point in someway or another.

I too have often felt underminded or misunderstood by GP's and have had challenges with anxiety issues, albeit not the same as hormonal anxiety but.........like every stage in life there is a chance to overcome.  So maybe this is a chance to assert your needs, continue to take care of you and find a way through.

[honorsmum]

Here is another link you might find interesting honorsmum

http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/  I sent this to my Niece and it helped her.

Thanks you, silverlady - very interesting.

[honorsmum]

Bright light, I think we are very similar in lots of ways - I recognise myself in your style of writing and how you think.

Although I have young children, I do feel somewhat at a crossroads in my life. My dad died 6 years ago and my mum is now 80 and obviously getting to a stage where I am starting to consider what may happen with her in the future. I have 3 siblings but they don't live anywhere near us and apart from my elder sister, we are not  emotionally close. My husband is 50 and has lost both parents and is an only child.

I don't have any sadness about losing my fertility, and usually I have a great zest for life ( to the point of hyperactivity, almost), always looking for the next project - which is why how I'm feeling has really knocked me sideways. It's just not me.
I guess I'm sort of treating this whole issue a bit like a project - researching, questioning, trying to  find solutions etc. I know whatever IT is, it won't always be like this, and I'm in the thick of it right now but it's not permanent - ages and stages, just as it is when you have children.

[BrightLight]

Having gone back to the thread I started when I arrived here, I have pieced together your responses - yes similar thinking and experience.

Yes, it's a stage of life - when I am philosophical I realise this and that it will pass - when I am anxious I feel well and truly stuck where I don't want to be My sister, who lives in Australia would say 'what you resist persists'.  She is right, but letting go is a challenge for me.

I also relate to what you say about have a zest for life - mine disappeared around 2 years ago and I knew it wasn't like me, almost a lack of purpose, but I had lots of projects and things going on, but slowly the focus seems to have turned to trying to balance myself, it's taking up so much time! ha

For me, I really miss having close people around at this time.  I have lost both my parents and my partner is 49 and has lost both of his two.  We also don't have siblings near or particularly emotionally close.  It all feels a bit isolating and I was acknowledging this to him just now, how we have a small network of support, which is hard at time.

I will share any information I get from the Private GP I am seeing, I plan to ask her for her thoughts on my symptoms in the run up to this that were not identified as anything to do with menopause.  My mind just feels the need to cross the t's, although I am aware that I might not be able to make sense of this, but my shocked self is still trying too

[CLKD]

Crossing the 'ts' is important.  I know my phobia occupied my whole mind, 24/7  ……. I am sure that once you have talked with someone it will be clearer for you, let us know!

[Dulciana]

I am a stay at home mum, after a lovely career as a classical orchestral musician, ...............my husband's also a musician

Honorsmum -  I'm fascinated to hear about your career as a classical orchestral musician, as I'm a professional organist and have also done some amateur orchestral playing as a violist.  My hubby's a violinist and teaches it in local schools.  Which instruments do you and your husband play?  And I'd love to hear which orchestra you were with, if you don't mind me asking!    Thanks!