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[Dorothy]

I make sure I go for a walk at least once a day (well, I don't have much choice as I have a very bossy dog!) which really helps.  I often feel terrible when I start, but after a few minutes feel much better.  Think it's a combination of the fresh air and exercise but I also find it easier to put things into perspective when I am walking and to think more sensibly - think it's something to do with the rhythmic movement. 

Also been encouraged by talking to a couple of lovely, serene older ladies who have come out the other side and are leading happy and useful lives and who certainly don't regard themselves as 'old'!

[peegeetip]

Hi Brightlight

some of what you say reminds me of how I felt before HRT.

Took me 6 months+ to get back to near normal and a few bumps in the HRT road along the way.

Was I cheating, a failure, not strong enough etc etc by even considering HRT.

All I can say is "glad I did get something! Wish I had done it sooner"
For my sake and those around me

As for this being Natural everyone has their view but mines is that its not.

Humans and types of whales are the only animals that have "ovarian" failure in this "peri/meno" way.

Perhaps its because we live so long now but either way whats inside us "breaks" down and doesnt work as good or at all.
In any other description we call this a chronic condition or illness.
 
If that comes along with feeling and looking ill, uncomfortable, unstable and more then it is a chronic condition or illness.

As with most other chronic conditions and illness we strive to treat them and make our quality of life better.
So why should peri and meno be any different.

By calling it "Natural" we leave ourselves open to ridicule, avoidance, ignorance and down right low quality service from a lot of the people we expect more from.

So next time your feeling hot, bothered, unwell and ignored don't pander to those that would say its natural and to "just get on with it".

Just go on out and get your quality of life back.
Just don't let anyone stand in your WAY!8)

 

[CLKD]

Of course it is NATURAL what else is it  …… please don't compare humans with other animals.  What about apes? our nearest relatives?  I would be interested to read the theory about whales ………. they are mammals, otherwise …… 'getting on with it' is a different topic completely.

What people feel may be unusual but even the oddest/rarest of conditions is 'natural'.  It's getting support that can be difficult.  For anyone with a difficult GP, for someone with weird symptoms ……. many patients can tell tales about being sent away with yet another prescription without being listened too, not only women with meno symptoms!

Dorothy : tell us more about your bossy dog 

[BrightLight]

Dorothy - I am definately going to start with some new, gently and enjoyable routines - I won't have the cyclic nature of periods to tell me 'all is well in my body' - I have never had any issues with periods but I can see this as an opportunity to add some other body focussed activity into my life - for mind and body.  I have two lazy cats, they motivate me to chill out

Peegeetip Your viewpoint is interesting and I have yet to establish my own philosophy on all this

I think part of my problem is that I have been genuinely fearful for the past couple of years that something chronic was going on and would never improve and the doctors wouldn't listen.  I kept doing as you said and getting on, I didn't have a strategy to deal with it as I didn't know what was going on.  I have driven myself mad thinking I had Lupus, Thyroid issues and any number of diseases that in my head were going to rob me of my quality of life - seriously, I have never thought like this before and its been horrid. I didn't even know about all the illnesses I've 'dreamt' up, I was just trying to match my overal feeling of not being in charge of myself anymore with something, anything. 

Now I know something IS going on, I still haven't got the strategys in place, but I am determined to find what works for me and get my quality of life back. This stage and experience is the same as any other in that we have to find our way.  A few more signposts would be great though

In Asia I don't think they have a word for menopause, it just doesn't exist, the transition just happens and it's part of life for them and they have the foods and lifestyle that support it - without changing a thing.  Everything fits into a bigger picture somehow and I think all chronic low level issues are badly managed in conventional medicine, medication is great if you can pinpoint the need directly, like HRT but other symptoms things are harder as they are moving all the time and involve the whole body and other things in our lives. 

[CLKD]

However, menopause does exist if women are 'normal'  - end of menses ……… it may be in cultures where they have lots of children that they bodies act more 'normally' int he way we are designed, i.e. a birth every 12-18 months apart.  So they don't have periods as often and don't live long enough to reach menopausal age. 

Do you feel more at ease now you are 'here'?  >wave<.  It is understandable to be worried about changes 'without cause' and without enough symptoms perhaps to go to the GP or Practice Nurse ……. but enough to be a nuisance!

[BrightLight]

Hi CLKD - I am not sure I feel at ease yet   Reading threads and information is taking the unknown and scary element about various subtle changes I am experiencing but I still feel a bit mixed up about being in this situation right now!  A nusiance is perhaps a good word

I do now recognise a dryness issue - that's the latest, just today and yesterday, this has happened maybe a couple of times in the last year at the end of a period.  I just thought I had a bit of thrush.  Now I am reading and it sounds like dryness is causing mild burning type sensation.  I am busy re-visiting pelvic floor excercises right now ha

Tuesday I will get to speak about all these things and find out more about options and solutions.  I do use complementary medicine a lot and if I can use this for some symptoms I will - Hormone replacement is something I think I need too.  My main issue is really the anxiety - it's quite substantial and mixed up with other circumstances not just menopause. 

Asian women probably don't have as much stress as we do in the western world - that's my theory. 

[peegeetip]

I'm glad you found the view point interesting

I've put on weight prior to starting HRT and often thought I look like a beached whale whilst considering which swimsuit or bikini to choose whilst on holiday.
However I've never truly likened myself to a poor whale (really)..

Before I better understood what was happening and (what was truly failing in my body) I was sent by my doc for some unpleasant and unnecessary tests and followup to conditions that come with our peri/menu road.
I look back on that disappointed that I was misled and not treated better
I wasted time!

At that time I did not have the experience of others on this site to help open my eyes.

I was shocked not to have been told by my doc about urinary problems, dryness and others things like VA which can lead on from this too. Not all things can be helped & fixed by HRT if its started later.

I feel I'm lucky in a lot of ways as I shudder when I think how things would have gone if I'd tried the "natural" route that many mention.
I was initially pushed towards this but thankfully did not waste time or money.

As others have said the "natural" products out there would be on the NHS if they worked sorry to say.

As you'll find out the peri & meno road is a many varied thing.
Some would say there is no need for signs to help us along the ways, whilst others will deny the road even exists.
Hopefully you'll find your way sooner than I did.

In general terms, we classify a whole raft of things in our life as illness and chronic conditions. Many of those are also just part of the "natural" way of things.

Only one seems to be stoically elucidated as "just natural".

I think there would be an outcry if we took this view point to many other often costly illnesses and chronic conditions that follow us down this road of our increasing years whilst being remiss in terms of the loss to quality of life.

I understand why others want to be considered in this way.

But with so many on this forum seeming to suffer and miss out on help they need from those we expect more from.
Surely something is wrong at the heart of how we see and deal with the perpetual Taboo of peri and meno.

[CLKD]

Dryness can be caused by vaginal atrophy - we have a couple of threads here about that!  [My bladder and other issues ? ]

[BrightLight]

Hi CLKD - thank you.  I found those - all a bit soul destroying to see how things could degenerate and all the options and self care to help health.  It's not there today and only intermittant a couple of times.

Today's new symptom is what I think is known as 'crashing fatigue' - wobbly legs and a sense of needing to collapse on the sofa as if I had done a whole couple of weeks of hard work.  I seem to be gathering these symptoms quite swiftly and am asking my body to get the message about the change and sort itself out

[Briony]

As a number of others have already said about themselves, I too could have so easily written your posts (except my crawling sensation are in my back rather than my face). If you look back at some of my previous posts, you will see that I have had two years of what I now realise were pretty pointless and very frightening  tests (including ones for MS and CFS). Fortunately, with a change of GP (goodness knows what took me so long to have the courage to leave someone so incompetent and uncaring) and a few months of HRT  - while my life isn't like it used to me and the anxiety is certainly still lurking - things just feel more manageable.

I had severe health anxiety, especially when the intermittent, crushing bouts of fatigue brought me almost to the point of fainting, but the amazing people on this site, along with my new GP, have helped me to realise that everything I have suffered can in some way be traced back to hormones.

I really hope you get some relief soon - hang in there! xx

[CLKD]

When I was told I had breast disease I could cope …. it was the worrying before diagnosis that was the hardest, once I had a reason I could get on with treatment etc..

As oestrogen levels drop off the skin thins and particularly in the vagina causing dryess and soreness.  I remember a lady who had very thin skin on her legs which we had to take very great care of when she was dressing …… old age doesn't arrive alone 

[Dorothy]

CLKD my 'bossy' dog is a rescue collie cross and I've had her for nearly 5 years...she is a little bossy about meals and walks, but I'm quite happy about that as she was such a nervous wreck when she came; it's nice she has now got the confidence to be a bit cheeky!  Also, it's just as well she is persistent, as sometimes she is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning (think she must have terrier somewhere in her ancestry as she is very good at 'digging' me out of the duvet  )

BrightLights, I was interested to read your comment about Asian women.  I wonder if it has something to do with the respect that is given to age in Asian culture?  Western culture seems to be so youth-focussed and being or looking young is all-important, so it is maybe hard to accept moving into an age group that is seen to be less attractive or important.  Maybe if you are in a culture where age is valued, menopause might be seen as more of a 'graduation' than a 'demotion'?  Also, I wonder if having strong inter-generational links helps?  If you live with or near different generations of your family, there is always someone else around who has been through a certain stage ahead of you, so more advice and support from each other?

[CLKD]

Dorothy - does she stamp her feet, mine used to 

[BrightLight]

Briony - it is amazing me how many women have had a period of long term anxiety and concern about not really knowing what was going on for them, only to discover it is hormonal!  As CLKD says, when you know what you are dealing with, things are a little easier to comprehend and find a solution for.

Dorothy - I think everything you suggest about Asian women and culture are probably very much a part of things.  I know that I am feeling the whir of not expecting this to happen right now at 44 and with no signs and I have definately been feeling 'old' in a negative way, it probably isn't really how I feel but there are so many messages out there that portray things in a way that you can get hung up on.

I have had many wonderful 'elders' as I call them in my life and it's interesting because right now, I don't have so many of those women around me and feel not ready to become one of 'them' if you know what I mean.  I also don't have family. So your points are pertinent to me and I feel sure that cultural differences change this experience for women around the world.  In Asia, it really isn't a big deal, probably for all the reasons you say.

[Dorothy]

CLKD - yes, she does tap her paw on the floor if food or walk is delayed   

BrightLights,  I know what you mean, I don't feel ready to be an 'elder' either!!!  Maybe it's harder to feel that mature if you don't have children?  I certainly feel a lot younger than friends my age who have children. 

Sure we will all get through this in the end, one way or another.  At least when you know WHY you have all these weird problems, it helps.  I just keep reminding myself that this isn't me, it's my hormones.  (Horrid things - nothing but trouble - shame they were ever invented!!!)