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[BrightLight]

Hi Brightlight

Sorry to hear about the negative experiences you had with your GP. They should know that there is no standard way to arrive at menopause - the last natural period (which can only be determined in retrospect once 12 months has passed), and as you will read on here the time leading up to this is slightly different for each of us. This is why the docs could not tell you what you personally can expect. If your blood tests show that your FSH is increasing, your periods have changed and you are getting menopausal symptoms - then I would have thought that is a clear diagnosis, that you are peri-menopausal? I can understand your fears as it is a lot to come to terms with especially given your story, and I can see why you might want to have further tests.  Most likely the diagnosis will be as the doctor has said ie you are peri-menopausal and nothing else wrong but at leats you will have peace of mind. A pity that your experience has made you want to go privately though as the NHS should be able to provide what you need!

I hope you get on OK with the private GP but you could also ask to be referred to a (NHS) menopause clinic (or self refer privately) too. I would hope the one you go to will carry out the same tests and give similar advice?

Do keep us posted with how you get on and what the GP comes up with.

Hurdity x

Thanks Hurdity - I understand what you are saying.  I tried to find a menopause clinic in my area and there isn't one, I tried to find an NHS nurse somewhere in a well woman clinic, there isn't one.  I have seen 3 GPS so far and it will take 4 weeks to change surgery. 

Can symptoms really come on this quick?  Cycling (although I suspect anovulatory for a while) I showed signs of natural aging but then last year it increased, my skin, energy levels, hair etc and with the cessation of my period very recently (albeit it could come back) softness of my breasts, vaginal area has changed, pelvis feels odd - many of the symptoms I read arrive postmenopausal e.g after the year has past for no periods.  If I am indeed at this point then it must mean despite periods/bleeding I was not producing hormones for some time before this day.   

This is all feasible but it just seems so unusual and I guess that scares me and makes me feel I should ask questions.  I am finding it hard to adjust to the changes in such a short space of time - mostly the stopping of cycling - I can feel that the hormones aren't there, literally. I have not felt this in the past year, I felt slightly off times, but that's what I expected, a winding down..........anyway it's horrible>

  I appreciate your response x

[CLKD]

It's worse for us if we haven't needed to visit the GP previously  - however, I've been in and out there for years for various issues and now I'm better I won't let matters rest.  I do remember when very depressed that I was unable to push for treatment or advice  so took a list and DH with me.  My GP has been GREAT  fortunately.  I never feel rushed and if necessary we make another appt..

Let us know how you get on!  Hormonal blood tests are reliably un-reliable  because our hormones alter all the while.  My Gynae won't do them but 'goes' by the lady's symptoms.  So keep notes until you go to that appt.?

Have a read about the various HRT preps, menus left of screen.  Take notes ;-)

Keeping a food/mood diary helps too.  It's easy on our better days to forget …….. I have to write stuff on our calendar in the bathroom for example  ……….

44 is 'no' age at all, I began meno around 43 but didn't notice as I had STUFF going on in my Life …….. I kind of missed periods …………. then they stopped.  So your body may well have been slowly getting to where you are now, 'naturally' and once you have a clearer idea once you have spoken to the GP you can decide on where to go next.

Don't be scared.  You're here now 

[peegeetip]

Hi BrightLight

unfortunately as Estrogen starts to leave us, so we start to see less collagen in our bodies. The reducing collagen has a huge affect on our skins elastic properties.

I think the Jury is out on whether HRT keeps us looking young but anything adding the estrogen back must help.

If our skins elasticity is improved whether that be in our face, breast or in other regions then I'm happy with that

 

[Hurdity]

Hi Brightlight

If your cycles were anovulatory then you wouldn't have had a period. It is ovulation that triggers it all off. It tells you all about it in that article on the peri-menopause I linked to.

You can get bleeding without a period but if you were bleeding at the normal time then it probably was a period and you will have ovulated! I can't comment on the sudden failure of the ovaries (if this has happened) and your experiencing symptoms like this suddenly and hopefully there may be others whose periods have stopped suddenly as you think yours have done. You may yet have another one or more though if you've only missed one!

Also - there is no standard time to experience the symptoms that you say are only for post-menopausal women. For example some women are more sensitive to decreasing oestrgoen and experience vagonal dryness and flushes and sweats while still having regular periods. My flushes and sweats only started when I had stopped periods for about 3 months, disappeared before I got another period (s) and then came back again once they stopped again for a while. I only experience vaginal dryness at this time too - not while I was having periods.

The extreme fluctuations in our hormones during peri-menopause can have huge impact on how we feel and the turmoil in our bodies can be alarming.Your oestrogen levels were probably decreasing for some time without you knowing it. Have you had your thyroid levels tested?

Hurdity x

[BrightLight]

Hi Brightlight

If your cycles were anovulatory then you wouldn't have had a period. It is ovulation that triggers it all off. It tells you all about it in that article on the peri-menopause I linked to.

You can get bleeding without a period but if you were bleeding at the normal time then it probably was a period and you will have ovulated! I can't comment on the sudden failure of the ovaries (if this has happened) and your experiencing symptoms like this suddenly and hopefully there may be others whose periods have stopped suddenly as you think yours have done. You may yet have another one or more though if you've only missed one!

Also - there is no standard time to experience the symptoms that you say are only for post-menopausal women. For example some women are more sensitive to decreasing oestrgoen and experience vagonal dryness and flushes and sweats while still having regular periods. My flushes and sweats only started when I had stopped periods for about 3 months, disappeared before I got another period (s) and then came back again once they stopped again for a while. I only experience vaginal dryness at this time too - not while I was having periods.

The extreme fluctuations in our hormones during peri-menopause can have huge impact on how we feel and the turmoil in our bodies can be alarming.Your oestrogen levels were probably decreasing for some time without you knowing it. Have you had your thyroid levels tested?

Hurdity x

No one told me that the loss of collagen would be almost instant - really the changes I have noticed in the body recently are scary.  I wish someone wrote about that if it's a thing to expect.


CLKD - yes I have read up on HRT and all the alternatives and have been keeping a diary for two years of food, supplements and menstrual cycle.  My main symptom is the sleep issue, hot at night and waking with anxiety.  But mostly the physical decline, in terms of body sagging, changing shape (everywhere there is subcutaneous fat), weakness and feeling devoid of energy.  These last things have only happened in the last week.

HURDITY - I am just trying to tune into my own body and it's really hard that it feels it has gone haywire.

The short chat this morning with the GP I am seeing next week was useful, she said you sound very sensitive to changes in your body and for whatever reason the levels of hormones have dropped suddenly you are feeling their effects.

When my current GP tested hormones, I had no menopausal symptoms, only things that were sort of similar were heating up sometimes, but not a flush, no sweating, red areas on skin, dryness on the skin, all over, nothing else.  This is why from everything I read, they musn't jump to conclusion from one FSH reading although it is sky high at 80 - they were looking for thyroid as well, but the doctor said this was normal.  It is on the high side, so I will tell the new GP this as well. The TSH was 3.8 which is in range and the T4 was 15.1

The pattern of bleeding that took me to the doctor this time happened 2 years ago for 2 cycles and then everything went back to normal.  Yes, I think the decline was happening with no indication in my bleeding as such. 

[Hurdity]

Hi again

I don't really know much about thyroid although I know reference ranges vary. This is what American endocrinologists have said though:

A reference range is obtained by taking a large group of people in the population, measuring their TSH levels, and calculating a mean value. Supposedly, these people should be free of thyroid disease. What experts are now coming to understand, however, is that the upper range in the TSH normal reference range has included people who actually have mild or developing thyroid disease, and their higher TSH levels skewed the standard curve.

This understanding led to the recommendation in January 2003, by the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, that doctors "consider treatment for patients who test outside the boundaries of a narrower margin based on a target TSH level of 0.3 to 3.0."

http://thyroid.about.com/od/gettestedanddiagnosed/a/normaltshlevel.htm

There is a condition called sub-clinical hypothyroidism where symptoms are experienced within the reference range. However you would know if you had these - ie fatigue especially in the mornings, putting on weight, feeling cold etc amongst others. I don't want to get you side-tracked because it is the menopausal  issues that you really want sorted out, but just thoiught I'd mention it!

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

>wave<  keep reading!  Join in, let us know how you feel - you are no longer alone! 

I remember feeling shocked - 10 days after my Wisdom teeth had been removed, I woke one morning feeling 'better' and realised that the whole procedure had left me shocked!!! awful.

Have you found our humorous room yet  …… look out for 'that woman' ……..

[peegeetip]

Hi BrightLight

I think some are writing about it and the views are moving to help those more in peri.
To help and maintain more stable hormone levels throughout peri make sense to me.

Just wish I'd been more aware of it 5 years ago!!

Search for "Losing estrogens means losing dermal collagen production" in the following link for more information.

http://www.dermalinstitute.com/uk/library/76_article_Hormones_and_Your_Skin.html

 

[CLKD]

Some of us are prepared for periods, interviews, work choices, pregnancy ……… but menopause is 'too far' away  and catches many of us unawares, maybe we ought to have 'lessons' around age 40 ?   I could justify all the weird and wonderful feelings I suffered on daily issues in my mid-30s onwards etc., it was a relief to get rid of periods and fortunately, I haven't been too bad since. 

[honorsmum]

Yes, hormones have a lot to answer for!
The problem seems to be that we are at the mercy of them, and they in turn are affected by life and all its stresses.
My daughter is 11 and definitely going through hormonal changes - some days, she's happy as Larry, others she's on the verge of tears if we say no to another biscuit.
I'm sure your body has been subtly changing for months, BrightLight, and now everything's accelerating - or maybe getting a diagnosis has made you notice all the symptoms suddenly?

[CLKD]

HORMONES  ………. can throw us up into the air without warning.  I remember the weepyness, the lows and highs and general teenage angst from the age of 12-ish.  As for having a teen in the house as well Honorsmum    - hopefully you have a buzz word to avoid shouting at each other and lots of hugs 

[honorsmum]

HORMONES  ………. can throw us up into the air without warning.  I remember the weepyness, the lows and highs and general teenage angst from the age of 12-ish.  As for having a teen in the house as well Honorsmum    - hopefully you have a buzz word to avoid shouting at each other and lots of hugs 

Ha! Yes, a teenager with ADHD thrown in for good measure, with a peri mum is not a good mix! My poor son and husband...not  mention the dogs! Thankfully, I don't have the energy to lose my temper very often recently, and mindfulness is helping.
It's going to be a difficult few years, I suspect.

[Dorothy]

So sorry BrightLight and a big hug for you!

I'm 39 and childless and went through the same shocked and scared feelings just a couple of weeks ago.  I too felt totally scared, confused, shaky, worried...the first few days were really grim and I felt like some battered old crone whose life had ended!!!    But once I got my head around what was happening and started to think out a few coping strategies I felt a lot better.  I'm also reminding myself that the end of REPRODUCTIVE life is not the end of PRODUCTIVE life and I still have a lot to give and receive.  And when I do anything silly or clumsy or start feeling teary for no reason, I remind myself 'It's not madness, it's the menopause'.  In a way, it's good to know what is happening, as otherwise I really would think I was ready for the madhouse!

It is a huge change, so give yourself time to adjust...it will seem less daunting with time. 

[BrightLight]

Oh thank you all for writing.........the article on the role of estrogen with skin is very useful, I had no idea that this was part of why my face lost it's 'chubby' cheeks last year - I hated them as a child and my plump lips and last year they changed and I really, honestly thought there was really something wrong - I had skin reactions as well.  My GP was thinking Rosacea but it kept coming and going, so I had to accept it was just one of those things.  So................I guess things have been changing.


Emotionally this is very hard.

Dorothy - good to hear from you and thank you for what you say, I do need to step back a bit and absorb this news. In a good moment I am thinking the same as you, about a productive period of life.  It's fairly hard to keep the faith when I have felt like an emotional wreck all week and lost energy in the last 2 years.

I guess part of me is in denial, angry and plain frustrated - if this is the next stage of my life, can it please get on with it and I can get on.  It co-incides with coming to terms with not being a mum, also I lost my mum a few years ago and also she never helped me feel comfortable with puberty/periods etc.  I am feeling half woman and half child right now and not liking it very much ha

I guess I am not in touch with my body either, it feels like it's betrayed me, silly as this is natural, but it does feel like that, everything is changing and when I get used to it, I will feel better.

[BrightLight]

I am just hoping all the major changes have happened and there are no new surprises - I can't bear to think it's downhill from here and all these symptoms will remain and I will feel not myself for ever.  Dramatic, but it's a fear.  That everything is steamrolling ahead and changing - quite an out of control feeling.

Ok, time to go deep breathe, jump around a bit and put it all to onside.  It's sleep that I dread - the last few nights I have only slept 4 hours and woken by feeling really hot, no sweating, just hot and anxious.   This is a new and unwelcome pattern.